Guest The Phoenix Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 There's nothing to fight about - I just occasionally react to a fevered ego. Now we're talking................ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 Now it's not the nicest day in Aberdeen and the chances of our football game being on today was always going to be minimal but given that the organisers of the league hadn't been in touch to tell us it was off we therefore assumed it was one. Of course when we get down there we find out the games are off. Nice of them to tell us prior to heading down there.Stupid cunts. I kinda guesed the game would be called off hence I wasn't going to leave the house until twenty to 11. In case it was called off late. I got a message from Dave saying that the Union hadn't got in touch so "the show must go on". It was then I looked out the window and thought the game will be off. It might be an idea for Dave or Macaroni to take Aulton Pitches number and phone before everyone sets off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShakehandsTom - DFC Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 Gillingham FC. That is all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lordofthewing Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 100 Best Stand Up Comedians.Bill Hicks was 6th. SIXTH. Channel 4 viewers are c**ts. In fact, they are smelly disease ridden c**ts who have no hope of ever getting the mainge out of their manky lady passage. I have seen this before, and you'd think the outrage would have passed by now, wouldn't you? But no, it fucking hasn't. But not because I'm a burning fire of righteous passion, it's because I'm usually quite drunk and I forget a lot of things that I have seen, particularly if it's on telly late at night. Harry Hill was voted 5th funniest stand-up ever. Now, I'm no expert (I fucking am though, because I'm funnier than Hill, and I can prove it), but Hill is the kind of useless dribbling w**ker that modern British audiences just cannot wait to imbibe. You see, as long as a comedian is doing harmless stuff about ducks or newsreaders, and he's doing it in a wonderfully off the cuff manner, he's lauded in Britain! Yes, let's ensure that under no circumstances does anything we either watch on our spoon fed channels of fucking mind-control reality tv, or our theatres full of placid anodyne self-serving parasite fucks parading a variety of ultra mundane routines about how hilarious it would be if one traded medicine for fame in any way challenge us at all. Let's make certain that we can watch some sweat ridden cockney ponce make his body into a slightly bendy shape for our chortles, or maybe be a bit Geordie and talk about scary pot plants. Ooooohh, that's a bit surreal, so I guess that curly haired fucking nonce must be the next comedy superstar, eh? You people make me fucking sick. You will literally watch anything, won't you? Peter Kay is the second funniest stand up in this country, if you believe the Channel 4 voters. SECOND??? Who was first, the rest of the fucking nation? That fat w**kbag couldn't make me laugh if he got run over by a greyhound and flat cap delivery truck, although I might pretend to conga in glee ( that aint laughing ). Oh, Rola Cola, mind when your mam bought it? Look, I'm walking around trying to get a signal on my phone, aren't I Northern? Eeeeeee!!!! That isn't comedy, it's a seventies shopping list with an exaggerated Lancashire accent. Die, you snake oil pushing charlatan f**k. I fucking wish nothing but misery and pestilence on the populus of this filthy pox-infested 'sceptered isle'. If you vote for these dicks, these incredibly egotistical Hitler-diary discovering Scarlet Pimpernells then all I can wish on you, the nation, is a huge big fucking bomb sent by Al Qaeda. I'm serious folks, you need wiped out and we need to breed a new planet of humans with a sense of other humans humour. Bring then terror on, I will clap and cheer as Bovine Britain burns to a fucking cinder. f**k the lot of you, I'm off to my bed. Very Hicks-esque... Who was first? I dread to think but put me out of my misery. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I kinda guesed the game would be called off hence I wasn't going to leave the house until twenty to 11. In case it was called off late. I got a message from Dave saying that the Union hadn't got in touch so "the show must go on". It was then I looked out the window and thought the game will be off. It might be an idea for Dave or Macaroni to take Aulton Pitches number and phone before everyone sets off. I'd quite like to know why yet again, for the 2nd week in a row, we seemed to be the only team that wasn't informed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Very Hicks-esque... Who was first? I dread to think but put me out of my misery. Billy Connolly, who was actually quite good at one time. Things anger me that shouldn't, especially after a lot of beer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 I can sometimes hear the people who stay above me fucking. She is a complete whale, and he is a computer nerd (well, he looks like one anyway) and so it gives me bad mental images while I am trying to drift off. I can hear the bed springs creaking and muffled cries, but this genuinely only last about 2 to 3 minutes, so when I see him in the stairwell, I snigger to myself knowing he shoots his load over her lardy tits in no time at all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lordofthewing Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Billy Connolly, who was actually quite good at one time. Things anger me that shouldn't, especially after a lot of beer. Not quite as bad as expected. Please tell me that Johnny Vegas was nowhere near the top 10. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robosaintee Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Slept in for work this morning and when i was walking to open the curtains stepped on an upturned plug which was the most painful ever and my other foot stpes in a pile dog crap my wee jack russell decided to leave which nearly made me phsically vomit when cleaning off. Lovely way to start the day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Ouch. Stepping on an upturned three-prong is, indeed, the worst. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Ouch. Stepping on an upturned three-prong is, indeed, the worst. Either that, or Lego. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robosaintee Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Ouch. Stepping on an upturned three-prong is, indeed, the worst. It is not a good pain to start the day off with. I've been in a howler of a mood ever since. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lordofthewing Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 My front door's fucked, so I had to climb out of my kitchen window to get out of the house this morning, ended up slightly ripping my jeans at one of the pockets, so had to get a spare pair, not quite as comfy Hope to fuck the door's fixed by the time I get home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owsley Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Back on the funniest stand ups, the footage of Ross Noble they chose to highlight his "brilliance" was the unfunniest piece of w**k I've ever seen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Back on the funniest stand ups, the footage of Ross Noble they chose to highlight his "brilliance" was the unfunniest piece of w**k I've ever seen. That's because he isn't remotely funny at the best of times. He obviously rehearses everything he ever says on programmes like Have I Got News For You and it really annoys me when he delivers what he thinks is the funniest line ever delivered and then looks around seeking approval, like a 5 year old. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
footiechick Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I am loaded with the cold Rudolph hasn't got a look in 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowanthebluenose Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 People who moan about alcohol being served for low prices. I like being able to afford a lot of bevvy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larbert_Par Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Napier Uni's intranet 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mak QOSFC Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Dumfries High School's intranet 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 People posting while they should be in school 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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