Raith Against The Machine Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 "Iron on reverse? This one doesn't have gears!" I agree with XBL on the "Yey! Women!" thing, too. And the DIY, not so good at that. Mrs Dunc (that's bizarre) was here yesterday, and was quite to ask "Why have YOU got a screwdriver?". I was reattaching the handle that I snapped off the window. That's why. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Has he still not sorted it? Of course not. Knob. He could at least reply to texts/emails. Shitebag. Threaten to tell everyone on P&B about his premature ejaculation and inability to perform doggy style due to his diminuitive stature. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BerwickMad Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Just been offered a job which will be nighshift, 12 hours a night, 7 days a week! Thats from July through to September, so im desperate to find another job before I have to resort to that one. The work seems alright, but unfortunatly it would seem like the end of my life, for at least the summer! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 The work seems alright, but unfortunatly it would seem like the end of my life, for at least the summer! But just think of the money Mr Mad! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meatwad Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 No havin enough sleep!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 That's twice I've boiled the kettle to wash up and I've still not done it yet. And anyway, I'm meant to be drying and straightening my hair, so what the hell am I doing here? Procrastination at it's best. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I've only got 3 fish fingers for breakfast because I dropped one on the floor. It's still there, too, because it was too hot to pick up. Fish fingers for Breakfast....?!?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Fish fingers for Breakfast....?!?! Hell yeah! Fish fingers are ace. 3 wasn't enough as it turned out, so I had to cook another 3. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 (edited) Fish fingers for Breakfast....?!?! You'll get used to the strange cravings that are appearing around here! I can't get enough scampi at the moment! Edited May 30, 2008 by Rowan 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 You'll get used to the strange cravings that are appearing around here!I can't get enough scampi at the moment! Just as I thought the sickness was subsiding. Thanks Rowan! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Just as I thought the sickness was subsiding. Thanks Rowan! Your fish fingers (fnnarr) have the same effect on me! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafc-15 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I hate when people tap desks with there fingers aagh drives me mad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Your fish fingers (fnnarr) have the same effect on me! Jeezo, Rowan, that's rank! It's given me a dilemma - do I boak or nip off for a quick ham shank at the very idea of Lyn-Marie's fishy fingers?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I wish I had some of LM's fishy fingers. I am starving. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Has he still not sorted it?Threaten to tell everyone on P&B about his premature ejaculation and inability to perform doggy style due to his diminuitive stature. You liar! Anyway, it reminded me of a story about my friend who lost his virginity to a 30 stone student from Hull. No, it isn't a typo. We were out in Glasgow and met her and her pal in a pub. Her pal was a lesbian feminist, about 4 feet 11, with a face like an angry ferret and a demeanour even less pleasant. Plus, she actually had a beret on that was exactly the same as the one sported by Student Grant from Viz's girlfriend, a fact which I definitely had far too many manners to mention to her. Well, until she patronisingly suggested that all men are potential rapists, that is. So, with her in an aghast huff, she drags her pal to the toilets ( fortunately and rather surprisingly not requiring some sort of reinforced construction vehicle or crane) and I seize the opportunity to quiz my mate on his progress. He indicated things were going well and he thought he was 'in', so could I entertain Hilary (or whatever her name was) for a bit longer. Now I'm crap at talking to women, but for some reason I'm an excellent 'wing man', so I agreed despite the prospect of lectures in gender inequality punctuated by withering looks and indignant sniffing. I did gain a small victory in suggesting she may like a drink, and then cutting her off in mid-acceptance with 'but I wouldn't insult your feminist independence, so...get yer own!' Anyway, long story short I had suffered Bootface Belinda long enough when suddenly my mate tells me he's managed to seal the deal. (I thought mibbe he meant he'd given her an actual seal as a snack, but apparently he just talked her into sex). I wondered why she hadn't had to talk him into sex though, as she must have had not merely her own postcode, but own international airport. The girl was faaaaat. After a couple of evenings out with them, he told me he was going to Hull for a short holiday, to stay at her house. I'm delighted by this for two reasons: first of all I won't have to put up with him in our flat for a few days, which meant plenty of creative shagging for me and the girlfriend at the time (now the wife),and secondly she had this infuriating habit of saying 'random' at the end of every sentence. I mean, 'Would you like another drink?' is not random, it's quite specific, which is why the response 'OOOOhhh my God, that sooooo random' is fucking stupid. Add this to the squeaky 'Don't be mean!' she uttered every time anyone said no to anything, it's a genuine testament to how much I liked my mate at the time that I didn't tie her down with four guy ropes in the garden and invite the local children over for a bouncy castle party. One night when he's away and the g/f is at work letting me get some much needed kip, the phone goes. At 3.a.m. He proceeds to tell me in gleeful yet hushed tones: "I've done it! I've shagged her! yesss!!" Now, it's 3 a.m., so my congratulations were extremely limited in their enthusiasm. Suffice it to say a small 'Yay!' was about to be followed by a larger 'Now f**k off' when my attention gained focus as he mentioned 'different positions'. I'm thinking, 'How?....' and as he listed them, I'm waiting for the classic 'doggy' but it went unmentioned. I realised that blurting out 'What about doggy then?' isn't the most diplomatic thing to ask your mate who is phoning you from Hull at 3a.m., but his response was one of the defining moments of our twenties. He said: "Well, we tried that, but after half an hour of trying to lift her arse out of the way I gave up." I think it's possibly one of the few times in my entire life where I have laughed until I'm actually sore. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 "Well, we tried that, but after half an hour of trying to lift her arse out of the way I gave up." Top quality! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 "Well, we tried that, but after half an hour of trying to lift her arse out of the way I gave up."I think it's possibly one of the few times in my entire life where I have laughed until I'm actually sore. "You're mean" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 "Well, we tried that, but after half an hour of trying to lift her arse out of the way I gave up." you couldnt make that up classic 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 hate with a fiery passion people who talk during films 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Jeezo, Rowan, that's rank! It's given me a dilemma - do I boak or nip off for a quick ham shank at the very idea of Lyn-Marie's fishy fingers?! No disrespect, Kilt, because I'm glad you're getting back on your feet and all that, but seriously, just f**k off with that shite, eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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