clyde til we die Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Can't fucking sleep 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Honestly? Fifth year was hell. First-third year at university was a cakewalk by comparison. I thought 5th year was a piece of piss. Uni, by comparison, was hellish. But then, I did a proper degree at a proper university... *tongue firmly in cheek* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kids eh ! Why do you let your kids speak to you like that ? slap her fucking arse. I would have done if she'd let me in the door! I do believe the kilted one is in enough soapy bubble without taking your "expert" advice. Too true matey. Formal divorce papers served last night by the family court sheriff officers. 21 days to consult my solicitor and find out my access rights and whether I can contest it. And Scotland lost 1-0 as well........... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Too true matey. Formal divorce papers served last night by the family court sheriff officers. 21 days to consult my solicitor and find out my access rights and whether I can contest it. And Scotland lost 1-0 as well........... Tough times. Kilt. The Scotland Result is the least of your worries. Have to say I didn't even know the result until late last night - I went to The Stand Comedy Club in Edinburgh and had a right good larf with Phoenix Jnr and his young lady - although don't you just hate it when they single you out and rip the pish no matter how hard you try to respond with something intelligent and witty yourself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Tough times. Kilt. The Scotland Result is the least of your worries. Have to say I didn't even know the result until late last night - I went to The Stand Comedy Club in Edinburgh and had a right good larf with Phoenix Jnr and his young lady - although don't you just hate it when they single you out and rip the pish no matter how hard you try to respond with something intelligent and witty yourself. I'm going to Jongleurs in Edinburgh on Saturday. I'm nowhere near quick enough to respond with something intelligent and witty so hopefully they dont target me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I'm going to Jongleurs in Edinburgh on Saturday. I'm nowhere near quick enough to respond with something intelligent and witty so hopefully they dont target me. Neither am I. Comedian - What's your name, Sir? Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Cnut. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Neither am I. Comedian - What's your name, Sir? Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Cnut. Ooooft! I hope we're not down the front. I'll just pretend that I dont speak English. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 My Dad was once accosted by a comedian in a show who asked him what his job was. He told them he was a critic, here to review the show. The guy went red and moved on to another target 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Half A Person Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Neither am I. Comedian - What's your name, Sir? Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Cnut. That comedian sounds pretty shit, to be honest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iron mike python Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 That comedian sounds pretty shit, to be honest. Agreed, I wouldn't have laughed at that, he was just trying to be horrible in the hope it was funny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 People that are awful at searching Google, e.g. ''i want to find the bnp membership list''.People like this do actually exist, a PE teacher of mine around third year took AskJeeves too literally and searched ''i need to find out what the tallest basketball player ever was, can you tell me''. Perhaps she thought there was a human on a computer elsewhere was answering her question. It's funny AND true. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 That comedian sounds pretty shit, to be honest. That was a 15 second outtake. Once he got on with his routine he was actually extremely funny. His "speciality" was jokes about midgets and there were some real gems. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 That was a 15 second outtake. Once he got on with his routine he was actually extremely funny. His "speciality" was jokes about midgets and there were some real gems. Midget gems? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Midget gems? Good of you to spell it out for our (many) Foundation Level P&B'ers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Divorce citation - 'On the grounds that the pursuer and defendent have been separated for a period of over two years nor have had marital relations over that period of time. Did they HAVE to add that in just to rub salt in the wound?! Fucking lawyers! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xbl Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kilt mate, as much as I like to nosy in on people, do you not think you are posting just a -few- too many details about your private life? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kilt mate, as much as I like to nosy in on people, do you not think you are posting just a -few- too many details about your private life? Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? Ignore him Kilt - he's overdosing in making out with a Lidl's Artichoke. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kilt mate, as much as I like to nosy in on people, do you not think you are posting just a -few- too many details about your private life? Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? I'm sorry Kilt but I actually agree with xbl. How posting private stuff like that can give you pleasure I've no idea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofjenova Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I'm sorry Kilt but I actually agree with xbl. How posting private stuff like that can give you pleasure I've no idea. It's quite a common thing on this forum, to be honest. My reason to be furious - went into the town for some clothes, etc. Items I like either look different in store to what they do online, or aren't in stock. Ended up getting one item out of about five I'd have liked. Waste of time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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