iron mike python Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 ...and in other news: Cool I thought I just made that up myself. Oh well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I had to work at my mates chinese take away as he didn't have a driver. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 Boring day off. Ahwell College in the morning 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clyde til we die Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 After leaving several messages on her answerphone without getting any response, I called round to the ex's flat unannounced. I pressed the entryphone buzzer and my daughter answered it.'Hiya, it's Dad' 'f**k off!' and she slammed the phone down! The ex let me in a minute latter but there was sign of the kids who had shut themselves in the lounge. I also got told that if I came round uninvited again, the ex would consult her solicitor about getting an injunction against me from contacting her and the kids. Christ knows what she's got planned for Christmas but I doubt I'll be part of it.... Kids eh ! Why do you let your kids speak to you like that ? slap her fucking arse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 Being very tired after work, and having to do a online psychology project for Friday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kids eh ! Why do you let your kids speak to you like that ? slap her fucking arse. I do believe the kilted one is in enough soapy bubble without taking your "expert" advice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofjenova Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 If you think 5th year is hard, wait until uni/work... Honestly? Fifth year was hell. First-third year at university was a cakewalk by comparison. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeeJay Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 People that are awful at searching Google, e.g. ''i want to find the bnp membership list''. People like this do actually exist, a PE teacher of mine around third year took AskJeeves too literally and searched ''i need to find out what the tallest basketball player ever was, can you tell me''. Perhaps she thought there was a human on a computer elsewhere was answering her question. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waal Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 People who say 'free', 'fink' or 'fanks', instead of 'three', 'think' or 'thanks'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clyde til we die Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Can't fucking sleep 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Honestly? Fifth year was hell. First-third year at university was a cakewalk by comparison. I thought 5th year was a piece of piss. Uni, by comparison, was hellish. But then, I did a proper degree at a proper university... *tongue firmly in cheek* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kids eh ! Why do you let your kids speak to you like that ? slap her fucking arse. I would have done if she'd let me in the door! I do believe the kilted one is in enough soapy bubble without taking your "expert" advice. Too true matey. Formal divorce papers served last night by the family court sheriff officers. 21 days to consult my solicitor and find out my access rights and whether I can contest it. And Scotland lost 1-0 as well........... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Too true matey. Formal divorce papers served last night by the family court sheriff officers. 21 days to consult my solicitor and find out my access rights and whether I can contest it. And Scotland lost 1-0 as well........... Tough times. Kilt. The Scotland Result is the least of your worries. Have to say I didn't even know the result until late last night - I went to The Stand Comedy Club in Edinburgh and had a right good larf with Phoenix Jnr and his young lady - although don't you just hate it when they single you out and rip the pish no matter how hard you try to respond with something intelligent and witty yourself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Tough times. Kilt. The Scotland Result is the least of your worries. Have to say I didn't even know the result until late last night - I went to The Stand Comedy Club in Edinburgh and had a right good larf with Phoenix Jnr and his young lady - although don't you just hate it when they single you out and rip the pish no matter how hard you try to respond with something intelligent and witty yourself. I'm going to Jongleurs in Edinburgh on Saturday. I'm nowhere near quick enough to respond with something intelligent and witty so hopefully they dont target me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I'm going to Jongleurs in Edinburgh on Saturday. I'm nowhere near quick enough to respond with something intelligent and witty so hopefully they dont target me. Neither am I. Comedian - What's your name, Sir? Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Cnut. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Neither am I. Comedian - What's your name, Sir? Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Cnut. Ooooft! I hope we're not down the front. I'll just pretend that I dont speak English. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 My Dad was once accosted by a comedian in a show who asked him what his job was. He told them he was a critic, here to review the show. The guy went red and moved on to another target 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Half A Person Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Neither am I. Comedian - What's your name, Sir? Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Cnut. That comedian sounds pretty shit, to be honest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iron mike python Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 That comedian sounds pretty shit, to be honest. Agreed, I wouldn't have laughed at that, he was just trying to be horrible in the hope it was funny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 People that are awful at searching Google, e.g. ''i want to find the bnp membership list''.People like this do actually exist, a PE teacher of mine around third year took AskJeeves too literally and searched ''i need to find out what the tallest basketball player ever was, can you tell me''. Perhaps she thought there was a human on a computer elsewhere was answering her question. It's funny AND true. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.