Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 That comedian sounds pretty shit, to be honest. That was a 15 second outtake. Once he got on with his routine he was actually extremely funny. His "speciality" was jokes about midgets and there were some real gems. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 That was a 15 second outtake. Once he got on with his routine he was actually extremely funny. His "speciality" was jokes about midgets and there were some real gems. Midget gems? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Midget gems? Good of you to spell it out for our (many) Foundation Level P&B'ers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Divorce citation - 'On the grounds that the pursuer and defendent have been separated for a period of over two years nor have had marital relations over that period of time. Did they HAVE to add that in just to rub salt in the wound?! Fucking lawyers! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xbl Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kilt mate, as much as I like to nosy in on people, do you not think you are posting just a -few- too many details about your private life? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kilt mate, as much as I like to nosy in on people, do you not think you are posting just a -few- too many details about your private life? Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? Ignore him Kilt - he's overdosing in making out with a Lidl's Artichoke. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Kilt mate, as much as I like to nosy in on people, do you not think you are posting just a -few- too many details about your private life? Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? I'm sorry Kilt but I actually agree with xbl. How posting private stuff like that can give you pleasure I've no idea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofjenova Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I'm sorry Kilt but I actually agree with xbl. How posting private stuff like that can give you pleasure I've no idea. It's quite a common thing on this forum, to be honest. My reason to be furious - went into the town for some clothes, etc. Items I like either look different in store to what they do online, or aren't in stock. Ended up getting one item out of about five I'd have liked. Waste of time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xbl Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Nope, just telling it how it is and wallowing in self-pity. Allow me some pleasures will ya? I'm sorry Kilt but I actually agree with xbl. How posting private stuff like that can give you pleasure I've no idea. I can understand him to an extent, it can be handy to get stuff off your chest, but the thing is, and I hope you don't mind me saying it in a friendly way (this bit is addressed to kilt, not ayrgirl), is that there are details, and then there is just a little bit too much detail! To be frank, people will get fed up of hearing a blow by blow account of your life spread around every thread, and there will be a backlash, possibly a witch hunt, and that won't help anyone! Ignore him Kilt - he's overdosing in making out with a Lidl's Artichoke. I shall not be dignifying that with an answer! ::flounces hair:: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofjenova Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I thought 5th year was a piece of piss. Uni, by comparison, was hellish. But then, I did a proper degree at a proper university...*tongue firmly in cheek* Depends how hard you applied yourself in fifth year - I made it very difficult for myself by choosing a course with high entry requirements. And OI! When you're next needing a Master of Engineering in Computer Science, don't come crying to me 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP_MFC Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I got a hair cut today, first time since about April. Culture shock to be so cold on the old napper, had to buy a hat it was that cold. Not amused. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gogo Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 fucking daft fuckers at t-mobile i logged on the website 2 days ago to get my mum a u/g, a u600 chrome (said f.o.c) caught my eye so decides to order that for her - simple. Anyway a hour or so later she gets a text from them stating that the order can not be confirmed and to call back. So called back the next again day and guy on the othe end of the phone makes me aware that i can have a far superior phone (lg secret) completly free, i also make him aware that the other line on my account (wee bros) is due to upgrade adn he tells me i can have the same phone as my mums free of charge - happy days so i tell him i'll take that. Anyway my little bro sees this lg secret and wants it so i call up tonight to order it. The wife says i can have it etc and orders it she then tells me i will have to pay a delivery charge of £6.99. (which would be fre eif done through the t-mob website)I tell her that i would happily order it staright from the internet but the offer her adn the previous advisor has made me would cost me in the region of £200 from the website therfore common sense would say i will go through customer service. Anyway she says she cant waive the delivery charge even though the offer she has made me should be also on the my t-mobile part on the website - still following?. So she gets the gaffer on and same convo goes on again, he then makes me aware that i have been charged £20 for the handset i was offered yesterday adn a delivery charge on top of this. I then go into how i wasnt loking for that handset and only took it because the guy yesterday said i would get it f.o.c and was only looking for a cheap phone etc etc. But this "manager" can do nothing as it appears on bold print on my account that the advisor said he told me of the £20 charge and the best he can do is he will try get another manager to call me back so if any of you thick b*****ds who delt with me today are reading this i hope you all die!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 The reason is quite simple really Renfrewshire Council are doing their level best to destroy what used to be a vibrant cosmopolitan town. The car park for the Paisley centre had to be modified as the corners at the entry and exit points were too narrow for larger cars. The road system could have been better designed by a dyslexic monkey with a crayon, they have now been forced to go back on the town centre traffic plan and allow all vehicles on Gauze St. and St. Mirren Brae.No wonder Paisley is dying and the out of town shopping centres are thriving. The most annoying set of light have to be those at Morrison's supermarket in Johnstone. They give priority to traffic leaving the supermarket, even when it is closed, causing chaos at the A737 juntion nearby. The former chief of roads in Renfrewshire Council, Richard Manser (AKA Manser the chancer), is a car hating non-driver, most of the road problems stem from his tenure in charge. All the traffic lights in Paisley are mental. The tailbacks I saw walking from Gilmour Street to the hospital were ridiculous, and I think I've ranted on this thread before about Corsebar Road, where the traffic lights change to green for about 7 seconds then stay red for a whole minute. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HGG Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 All three of my children have colds. I have to say I don't feel 100% myself, but my poor wee boy (the wee-est one) is so bad with it that he's practically no voice at times. I'm taking him out in the morning with a wee friend of his for a cheer up. Off to a play place he loves. His friend is called Miles but Scott struggles to say that and ends up calling him Mouse. Comedian - What's your name, Sir?Me - *Gives real name* Comedian - And what do you do for a living? Me - I work for the Government. Comedian - Ah, you do nothing all day and get paid for it. Which particular branch of doing nothing do you work for? Me - Jobcentre Plus. Comedian - Ha! Ha! Ha! You get paid fortnightly for doing nothing for people that do nothing. Anyone in tonight got a real job? *Turns to rest of audience to find someone who has a meaningful existence* Did you say you tried to:- respond with something intelligent and witty My Dad was once accosted by a comedian in a show who asked him what his job was.He told them he was a critic, here to review the show. The guy went red and moved on to another target Now there's one to remember. I got a hair cut today When I saw that, I wasn't looking at who the poster was. Thought it was xbl for some reason. Almost fell off my chair. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Psychosis Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 The best heckle I've ever seen was from a guy who stood up halfway through a comedian's set and started making his way out quietly, obviously trying not to be spotted.... Comedian: Hey, you, where you off to? Punter: Just thought I'd go for a piss before the comedian came on... :lol: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 All the traffic lights in Paisley are mental. The tailbacks I saw walking from Gilmour Street to the hospital were ridiculous, and I think I've ranted on this thread before about Corsebar Road, where the traffic lights change to green for about 7 seconds then stay red for a whole minute. I went to town via Caledonia Street again through force of habit. Bloody lights are a nightmare. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrowhillclyde Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 nor have had marital relations over that period of time. could you not tell them you had a quick one of the wrist, exited by one of her photos? Surely that qualifies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrowhillclyde Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 The best heckle I've ever seen was from a guy who stood up halfway through a comedian's set and started making his way out quietly, obviously trying not to be spotted....Comedian: Hey, you, where you off to? Punter: Just thought I'd go for a piss before the comedian came on... :lol: Excellent. Quick comebacks like that are brilliant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 The best heckle I've ever seen was from a guy who stood up halfway through a comedian's set and started making his way out quietly, obviously trying not to be spotted....Comedian: Hey, you, where you off to? Punter: Just thought I'd go for a piss before the comedian came on... :lol: That may get used. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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