McMuffin Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I was absolutely wankered last night. Woke up absolutely fine this morning, but now I've been hit with another ninja hangover. Sneaky b*****d. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xbl Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Cricket is still alive, not amused! Why not release a pet that eats crickets under the floorboards? Then, when that eats the crickets, put down a slightly larger animal to eat the new inhabitant. Keep that up, and eventually you'll be putting a lion under the floorboards, which means you've won the battle, because lions don't fit under floorboards. HTH. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Why not just tell a really shite joke, then the cricket will have to come out and make that "chirping in a silent room" noise? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 How to remove a cricket from a flat...Got me stumped. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Stuart. Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 standing in a queue in debenhams today, the old lady behind me didnt stop moaning about the size of the queue! seriously!!? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clyde til we die Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 The traffic in Glasgow city center today Fucking more buses than you could wave a stick at. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I thought that described using a cucumber retrieved from the waste bin of your local Tescos? I could be mistaken. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Why not just tell a really shite joke, then the cricket will have to come out and make that "chirping in a silent room" noise? So Day One stick an egg, a Mars Bar and a Dairylea Cheese Triangle through a hole in the floorboards. Repeat above every day for six days. Day Seven, replace the Mars Bar with a hammer and stick the egg and the Dairylea Cheese Triangle through the hole in the floorboards and take a firm grip on the hammer. Shortly afterwards the Cricket will stick its head through the hole and cry "Where the f**k is the Mars Bar?" It's at this point you beat its brains out with the hammer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gall09 Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 (edited) Eastenders' Janine's voice whenever she has to shout Edited December 22, 2008 by Gall09 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFarlane Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 RICKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shetlandbairn Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 How to remove a cricket from a flat...Got me stumped. Nice pun! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
county-mad Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Nice pun! Hows That ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Decency Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Hows That ? That's so bad it knocked me for six. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
county-mad Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 That's so bad it knocked me for six. Did it rattle your bails ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shetlandbairn Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Enough! If there was a P & B Hell (sortof like an anti Gold Forum) it would just be full of pun based threads. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Enough!If there was a P & B Hell (sortof like an anti Gold Forum) it would just be full of pun based threads. You are letting your guard slip there, If you don't like the puns, take cover in another thread or get a third man to check for puns as extra cover before you get caught by one unexpectedly. Anyway, there's a fair chance this particular topic will run out of energy soon and the matter will be over. Then you won't need to bat an eyelid. Will be interesting to see what post follows on from this . (That's a long stop) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Cyril Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 If it's a Scottish cricket it'll be out before too long. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I think you should build a gigantic machine to kill the cricket. Call it the Massive Insect Destroyer, and turn it on in the middle of the living room to tear the floorboards apart until the pesky pest is dead. Although, that plan is a bit ridiculous, I suppose you could just leave the silly MID off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I think you should build a gigantic machine to kill the cricket. Call it the Massive Insect Destroyer, and turn it on in the middle of the living room to tear the floorboards apart until the pesky pest is dead.Although, that plan is a bit ridiculous, I suppose you could just leave the silly MID off. Probably best just to declare - even cricket has its boundaries and much more of this and we'll all be on the ropes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
county-mad Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Probably best just to declare - even cricket has its boundaries and much more of this and we'll all be on the ropes. On the ropes or at SIX'S and sevens ( i now officially stop ) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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