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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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If I was making a music video, this would be it:

At first all you can see is a dark pink blur filling the screen. As the song progresses, the camera pulls away ever so slowly until the climax of the song when a slightly out of shape (not hideous) guy is lying on a four poster bed in just his briefs (must be Marks and Spencers) and black socks. Maybe scratching himself and reading some Balzac.

The dark pink blur at the start would be an extreme close-up of the guy's nipple and it would pan back from there.

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If I was making a music video, this would be it:

At first all you can see is a dark pink blur filling the screen. As the song progresses, the camera pulls away ever so slowly until the climax of the song when a slightly out of shape (not hideous) guy is lying on a four poster bed in just his briefs (must be Marks and Spencers) and black socks. Maybe scratching himself and reading some Balzac.

The dark pink blur at the start would be an extreme close-up of the guy's nipple and it would pan back from there.

You're Dale Winton right ?

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B'stard! Went out clubbing earlier with a mate. Met this bird, danced with her in the club, she seems interested. Got her back to mine. She was up for it, then BOOOM...interception. Out of nowhere my mate takes her upstairs. He's getting the punishment in the morning!

:lol:

What a bugger. I hope you've learned your lesson though... Never invite friends back when you're trying to get your beef.

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If I was making a music video, this would be it:

At first all you can see is a dark pink blur filling the screen. As the song progresses, the camera pulls away ever so slowly until the climax of the song when a slightly out of shape (not hideous) guy is lying on a four poster bed in just his briefs (must be Marks and Spencers) and black socks. Maybe scratching himself and reading some Balzac.

The dark pink blur at the start would be an extreme close-up of the guy's nipple and it would pan back from there.

What sort of music do you envisage accompanying this film?

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The "match reports" on BBC Scotland.

They have a reporter at the game, so why are the match reports no more detailed than teletext.

The report from our game yesterday was along the lines of...

"First Division new boys Raith were stunned by a last minute equaliser at Palmerston as both teams were reduced to ten men. Paul Tosh saw red in the first half, before Allan Walker scored for Rovers. Mark Campbell was then dismissed after the break, and Derek Holmes volleyed in the equaliser for Queens in injury time."

The only thing you can garner from that report, that you won't get on Teletext, is that the last minute goal was a volley. Although, teletext will give you the actual times for the goals and red cards.

Would it really kill Sandra Whateverhernameis to give a report that runs more like this...

"Queen of the South grabbed a point at home to Raith today, but had to wait until stoppage time for an equaliser. In a match that Queens dominated without looking overly superior, the referee took centre stage. Firstly, he harshly booked Stevie Tosh for a foul in the middle of the park, before giving a second yellow seconds later as the midfielder sarcastically applauded the decision. Right on the stroke of half time, Rovers made their extra man count, when Allan Walker slotted home Tadé's through ball. However, the second half belonged to the home side, after Mark Campbell was adjudged to have fouled Quinn on the edge of the box, and was shown a straight red. Queens' pressure eventually paid off deep into injury time, when Holmes equalised with an exquisite volley from 12 yards."

It's really not difficult to give some insight into the game, rather than just listing the facts. What's the point in getting someone at the game to regurgitate what Richard Gordon has been telling everyone throughout the afternoon.

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