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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Guest The Phoenix
I am your father ;)

The honour is all mine. :lol:

I know all about it, my name was mysteriously down for a while.

John Daly eat your heart out.

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Shocking night at 5s. Team humped, I aggravated a groin injury that'll probably stop me playing for a while and, worst of all, my fucking top's badge was really jaggy tonight and it cut me right across the nipple! Second only to a kick in the stones for sheer discomfort! :(

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My lovely wee dog Tara has just left a trail of destruction in her wake.

Around 10 minutes ago she came up the stairs all excited and cuddled down next to my feet, looking all cute. I'm sitting there thinking "Awww. My wee Tara", when I notice a clump of shite lying on the floor. I tell her to get out of my room and I go for the toilet paper. When I get back in I notice wee dollops of shite everywhere on my floor, including on my bottle of water.

I clean it up, find Tara and then check her hoop for dangleberries. She has many dangleberries.

So, I try to wipe it up with some toilet paper, but quickly realise I'm making it worse. Out come the scissors and I find myself clipping away at my wee Tara's arsehole. Eventually I finish up and she runs away, delighted and confused.

I go downstairs and spot a log that I would be proud of lying in the hall. Seriously, this shouldn't come out of a wee Yorkie. It must have hurt like f**k. I take the jobby upstairs and flush it, then head back downstairs. I spot a couple of ninja streaks on the laminate floor, so I get the toilet paper and give it a wipe. That's when I noticed the trodden jobby on the stairs.

I was barefoot.

I clean the jobby on the stairs and then set about the task of cleaning my own heel. It wasn't pretty, but finally I got it sorted and who should appear up the stairs, tail wagging and jumping up my leg happy as fucking Larry?

Yep, you guessed it. Wee Shitey Tara.

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John Daly eat your heart out.

Is that some of mental voodoo religion you've taken up to rival kilt?

I can handle pictures of candles and a load of mumbled 'let's dance in a toga and mutter some shitey incantation to this elderberry bush' pish in the faint hope he'll ever get a bird out of it, but if you're going to start with the chewing on folks livers and thinking about moving to Haiti, I'm not having that!

My lovely wee dog Tara has just left a trail of destruction in her wake.

Around 10 minutes ago she came up the stairs all excited and cuddled down next to my feet, looking all cute. I'm sitting there thinking "Awww. My wee Tara", when I notice a clump of shite lying on the floor. I tell her to get out of my room and I go for the toilet paper. When I get back in I notice wee dollops of shite everywhere on my floor, including on my bottle of water.

I clean it up, find Tara and then check her hoop for dangleberries. She has many dangleberries.

So, I try to wipe it up with some toilet paper, but quickly realise I'm making it worse. Out come the scissors and I find myself clipping away at my wee Tara's arsehole. Eventually I finish up and she runs away, delighted and confused.

I go downstairs and spot a log that I would be proud of lying in the hall. Seriously, this shouldn't come out of a wee Yorkie. It must have hurt like f**k. I take the jobby upstairs and flush it, then head back downstairs. I spot a couple of ninja streaks on the laminate floor, so I get the toilet paper and give it a wipe. That's when I noticed the trodden jobby on the stairs.

I was barefoot.

I clean the jobby on the stairs and then set about the task of cleaning my own heel. It wasn't pretty, but finally I got it sorted and who should appear up the stairs, tail wagging and jumping up my leg happy as fucking Larry?

Yep, you guessed it. Wee Shitey Tara.

:lol:

Get it under the avatar - 'Wee Shitey Tara'

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My lovely wee dog Tara has just left a trail of destruction in her wake.

Around 10 minutes ago she came up the stairs all excited and cuddled down next to my feet, looking all cute. I'm sitting there thinking "Awww. My wee Tara", when I notice a clump of shite lying on the floor. I tell her to get out of my room and I go for the toilet paper. When I get back in I notice wee dollops of shite everywhere on my floor, including on my bottle of water.

I clean it up, find Tara and then check her hoop for dangleberries. She has many dangleberries.

So, I try to wipe it up with some toilet paper, but quickly realise I'm making it worse. Out come the scissors and I find myself clipping away at my wee Tara's arsehole. Eventually I finish up and she runs away, delighted and confused.

I go downstairs and spot a log that I would be proud of lying in the hall. Seriously, this shouldn't come out of a wee Yorkie. It must have hurt like f**k. I take the jobby upstairs and flush it, then head back downstairs. I spot a couple of ninja streaks on the laminate floor, so I get the toilet paper and give it a wipe. That's when I noticed the trodden jobby on the stairs.

I was barefoot.

I clean the jobby on the stairs and then set about the task of cleaning my own heel. It wasn't pretty, but finally I got it sorted and who should appear up the stairs, tail wagging and jumping up my leg happy as fucking Larry?

Yep, you guessed it. Wee Shitey Tara.

:lol:

"Delighted and confused"

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Oh fúck...I am seriuosly wasted! Bollockingbuggeryfuck...and I've got work tomorrow

oh, Slartibartafst, I'm a mess..... :(

Oh shitteryfuckbollocks and wankfest....I can't feel my fingers...

Blessed Be!

Goodnight everyone...Oh, I've overdone it again...... :(

?

Looks it was supposed to be funny. "Oohhh I'm really drunk so I'm going on the forum to tell everyone and I'll throw in a lot of swearywords to emphasise my drunkenness and people will think I'm cool."

The twisted goings on of the mind of Kilt.

Edited by GiGi
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?

Looks it was supposed to be funny. "Oohhh I'm really drunk so I'm going on the forum to tell everyone and I'll throw in a lot of swearywords to emphasise my drunkenness and people will think I'm cool."

The twisted goings on of the mind of Kilt.

Very dangerous individual. Twisted psyche.

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?

Looks it was supposed to be funny. "Oohhh I'm really drunk so I'm going on the forum to tell everyone and I'll throw in a lot of swearywords to emphasise my drunkenness and people will think I'm cool."

The twisted goings on of the mind of Kilt.

To be fair to him, his typing is pretty legible.

Edited by Francesc Fabregas
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