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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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All the little brats round our scheme think its the 5th of november already. They started a bonfire near the community centre last night, and then later on some bins next to the units in the industrial estate. Dont know what they are thinking, if the bin fires had spread to the units it could have been nasty, there are garages in the units with gas cylinders FFS. the wee shits have just walked past the houses, headed towards the community centre with piles of wood, next door neighbour has phoned the police. There's been another ned zipping round the houses on the paths on a trail bike, im worried that a kid or an old person will be hurt or even worse. Im sorry, but the council have went to the trouble of trying to organise sports activities and games consoles in the community centre, why do they have to be so fuckin stupid and irresponsible??

Were you never young? As fudge said, setting fire to stuff is FUN. Explosives are fun. I wouldn't trust a guy who doesn't get a thrill out of burning stuff.

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Were you never young? As fudge said, setting fire to stuff is FUN. Explosives are fun. I wouldn't trust a guy who doesn't get a thrill out of burning stuff.

That would prevent you getting a job at the cremetorium, if you ever applied.

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That would prevent you getting a job at the cremetorium, if you ever applied.

Cremetorium, is that where you get your dead relative decorated like a cake?

If you mean crematorium where the stiffs are burned. I was given a guided tour of the doings behind the curtain once.

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Instead of scrapping it and getting a hundred quid, I would've much rather torched my last car and had a wee bonfire. Only the whole bother with filling in all the SORN paperwork stopped me.

You can do it online now, I found this out when applying for road tax.

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Cremetorium, is that where you get your dead relative decorated like a cake?

If you mean crematorium where the stiffs are burned. I was given a guided tour of the doings behind the curtain once.

Well played.

Regarding behind the scenes, I occasionally have to visit said establishments in the course of my duties.

This isn't so bad these days now that the mercury recovery systems are installed, prior to this, the air was usually vitiated and I always came away with a dry throat.

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Well played.

Regarding behind the scenes, I occasionally have to visit said establishments in the course of my duties.

This isn't so bad these days now that the mercury recovery systems are installed, prior to this, the air was usually vitiated and I always came away with a dry throat.

It was corpse free the time I was there. They explained the ovens, how long to set them for and the bone grinding stuff etc. I still thought it was a bit dusty even with all the sealed equipment.

I was at a cremation a wee while back at Newhouse and was running late so I took a shortcut to the hall across the grass, forgetting thats where they scatter the unclaimed ashes. My shoes were caked in mud and white ash, a bit icky cleaning that off.

Edited by Sergeant Wilson
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It was corpse free the time I was there. They explained the ovens, how long to set them for and the bone grinding stuff etc. I still thought it was a bit dusty even with all the sealed equipment.

I was at a cremation a wee while back at Newhouse and was running late so I took a shortcut to the hall across the grass, forgetting thats where they scatter the unclaimed ashes. My shoes were caked in mud and white ash a bit icky cleaning that off.

As Joni Mitchell wrote. 'we are stardust', that helps me get over it.

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Were you never young? As fudge said, setting fire to stuff is FUN. Explosives are fun. I wouldn't trust a guy who doesn't get a thrill out of burning stuff.

Yeah, you might think its fun but try telling that to the emergency services who get pissed off having to deal with these stupid wee idiots and their daft fires. Hell mend the wee c***s if their parents house is burning down whilst the fire service are putting out silly bonfires.

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Yeah, you might think its fun but try telling that to the emergency services who get pissed off having to deal with these stupid wee idiots and their daft fires. Hell mend the wee c***s if their parents house is burning down whilst the fire service are putting out silly bonfires.

Didn't you post on here a couple of years ago about how pissed off you were about kids playing fitba' on a patch of grass near where you stay that had a 'no ball games' sign on it?

When I were a lad, my mates and I got into bother with the polis because we were continuously hunted from a similar patch of grass. Bollocks to paying a couple of quid to play fitba for 45 mins in a sports centre, no wonder folk wander around the streets.

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Yeah, you might think its fun but try telling that to the emergency services who get pissed off having to deal with these stupid wee idiots and their daft fires. Hell mend the wee c***s if their parents house is burning down whilst the fire service are putting out silly bonfires.

I used to light fires all the time, and I love fireworks. In fact, bonfire night was always great fun for my family, as we all have 'specialities'. My dad ties multiple fireworks together, my brother favours the "stick rockets directly in the ground so they can't take off" approach, and I light rockets out of my hands.

Kids have always set fire to stuff, and they always will. Very little harm is ever done by this stuff (although as always, there are exceptions). You should go to Iceland. I was there a couple new years back and wee kids were effectively wandering the streets with handfuls of fireworks, setting them off to their hearts content.

You are coming across as a miserable killjoy old man. Did you never have a childhood?

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Hell mend the wee c***s if their parents house is burning down whilst the fire service are putting out silly bonfires.

Leaving aside the two wrongs fallacy implicit in your post: are fire services really massively stretched? In Scotland? It's hardly a land of arson or raging wildfires to handle. They must be pretty bored for the vast majority of the time.

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Didn't you post on here a couple of years ago about how pissed off you were about kids playing fitba' on a patch of grass near where you stay that had a 'no ball games' sign on it?

When I were a lad, my mates and I got into

bother with the polis because we were

continuously hunted from a similar patch of

grass. Bollocks to paying a couple of quid to

play fitba for 45 mins in a sports centre, no

wonder folk wander around the streets.

Scotlands decline in the FIFA world rankings began when these ' Do not play on the grass ' signs started to appear. I feel that all pensioners should be forced by law to allow everyone to play football on their lawns or to indulge in wild orgies on them in order to receive their pension. They should also have to supply half- time oranges, spiffs and condoms to the participants. We are far too soft on these wrinkled fascists these days :(

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