Guest The Phoenix Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I doubt Enigma's credentials for being a mail order bride. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Someone organising something like a bonfire and insisting it start early like 7pm when we have all night. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I was interviewing today although I doubt it was Enigma. Unless you're Vietnamese, Enigma? Unless you're a woman it wasn't me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Not just that but research the company, if they ask you something like "Why do you want to work for us?", say some pish about what they do that their rivals don't, any awards that they've won etc. Also, if they have a saying or motto of some kind, slip it into a sentence somewhere. If it's Asda you're going for then I'd refraine from standing up and slapping your arse, though. I had an interview for a seasonal post at Asda last year. I was in the group thing and me and two other guys were in a group and were asked to come up with inventive things to do with various items. One of them was one of those things you use in the shower to scrub yourself (like the Lynx manwasher thing, which is great by the way, but without the scrubbing pad side). I said it could be the ideal murder weapon. You soak it, freeze it, smash someone over the head with it, then defrost it. How could anyone be killed by such a wee harmless object? I was offered the role, but they wanted me to start at 4am and due to where I was/am staying, I couldn't get there in time so had to turn it down. It's that time again. Idiots who queue overnight to get a new iPhone are deemed newsworthy. Nobody gives a shit if you're the first person to get it. I'd love for a reporter to ask them 'Now what?' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehoss Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I had an interview for a seasonal post at Asda last year. I was in the group thing and me and two other guys were in a group and were asked to come up with inventive things to do with various items. One of them was one of those things you use in the shower to scrub yourself (like the Lynx manwasher thing, which is great by the way, but without the scrubbing pad side). I said it could be the ideal murder weapon. You soak it, freeze it, smash someone over the head with it, then defrost it. How could anyone be killed by such a wee harmless object? I was offered the role, but they wanted me to start at 4am and due to where I was/am staying, I couldn't get there in time so had to turn it down. I'd love for a reporter to ask them 'Now what?' Probably wanted you to start at 4am so there's less chance of you going on a frenzied Brillo pad rampage! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehoss Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Fair enough. Shame though I was going to say you had a cracking pair of tits on you as we'll. Good luck Lmao. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoopy1967 Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 If anyone was wondering why I wasn't online much recently I was queuing up so I could say I was the first person to get the new iP.... Never mind 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Rub her nose in it. Dirty girl. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Or a game, book, cd, actually most things. The ones who really piss me off are the idiots who wait 2 hours for a fucking donut. ... or fish and chips. You see this on sunny evenings in places like Anstruther and Stonehaven when the chippers have won some award. Get a f****** life folks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 (edited) If anyone was wondering why I wasn't online much recently, I was in for questioning over trying to steal a new iP.... Never mind Fixed. Eta: Never noticed either, sorry. Edited September 21, 2013 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 The Missus was out last night and I've woken up to find a huge red wine vomit stain in the middle of the living room carpet. Fucking great. If possible just avoid the living room until she wakes up, and say you were never in it once shes finds the stain, she'll then have to clean it and can't moan if its permanent and you can use it in future arguments. Advantage Mozzamozza 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehoss Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 ... or fish and chips. You see this on sunny evenings in places like Anstruther and Stonehaven when the chippers have won some award. Get a f****** life folks. Yeah but it won't be the same award winning chips a week later........or the week after that! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehoss Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 The Missus was out last night and I've woken up to find a huge red wine vomit stain in the middle of the living room carpet. Fucking great. So vomit stain minus the vomit? She knows what she's done if she cleaned up the vomit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 The Missus was out last night and I've woken up to find a huge red wine vomit stain in the middle of the living room carpet. Fucking great. This is why I don't do marriage! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 My living room resembles a scene from Reservoir Dogs. Anybody got Harvey Keitel's phone number? You tied her up & cut off her eye to the tune of Steelers Wheel - stuck in the middle with you?! Christ....that's a tad harsh for puking on the carpet ffs! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 I need to go out and buy my sister a birthday present as its her birthday tomorrow, I also have to go out and buy some food for myself or I'll starve. I really want to buy GTA though, and PES is also appealing simply because its PES. The worst part is that I'm incredibly comfy, and can't be arsed moving 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 You tied her up & cut off her eye to the tune of Steelers Wheel - stuck in the middle with you?! Christ....that's a tad harsh for puking on the carpet ffs! *ear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehoss Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 You tied her up & cut off her eye to the tune of Steelers Wheel - stuck in the middle with you?! Christ....that's a tad harsh for puking on the carpet ffs! Kietel was also the wolf in pulp fiction. The professional cleaner, so he could still do a job! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Keitels best role was quite obviously in From Dusk til Dawn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Kietel was also the wolf in pulp fiction. The professional cleaner, so he could still do a job! Was he in Resevoir Dogs?.....remember his as the cleaner in Pulp Fiction like you say... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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