Dee Dee Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) This all reads like a load of Clarky Cat and Triple Sods to an old fart like me You sound like the boz boz Edited October 30, 2015 by Dee Dee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Raking through my pillowcase of sweeties. Wobbly eggs, trips, ectos and uppers. No the uppers I'm needing, not a piagra to be found. Really wanted to get manky wi my wee pumpkin the night. ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1446245815.151957.jpg Thought I had it aw planned oot tae You sound like a man who knows. My 93 year old dad has come back home from 3 weeks in hospital with a generous supply of dihydrocodeine. I'm only supposed to give him one if he's in especially bad pain, just paracetemol normally, so basically there are a few going free. I've found out that William Burroughs really rated them, and Herman Goering was off his tits with them when caught by the Allies. So how many should I take? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Lazy FB comments, 90% of which simply say "beautiful" when some bird posts an updated profile picture involving a mirror. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Dehydricodine, you'll need at least 3 for a good 'flight'. ETA : watch though, the itch is unbearable and you'll end up gadgie rolling on the floor Edited October 30, 2015 by Deeboy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 You sound like a man who knows. My 93 year old dad has come back home from 3 weeks in hospital with a generous supply of dihydrocodeine. I'm only supposed to give him one if he's in especially bad pain, just paracetemol normally, so basically there are a few going free. I've found out that William Burroughs really rated them, and Herman Goering was off his tits with them when caught by the Allies. So how many should I take? I need more info from you. How much do you weigh? When did you last eat? Have you consumed alcohol in the last 24hrs? Are you a nazi? Are you planning on going out after? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I need more info from you. How much do you weigh? When did you last eat? Have you consumed alcohol in the last 24hrs? Are you a nazi? Are you planning on going out after? Ample without being gross 7pm Yes No No 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Ample without being gross 7pm Yes No No Haud on while I do some, hasty, calcs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Lazy FB comments, 90% of which simply say "beautiful" when some bird posts an updated profile picture involving a mirror. Especially when she's 'updating' it to one she's been recycling for the last 5 years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Haud on while I do some, hasty, calcs. Hurry up man! Can't you see his evening is hanging by a thread? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Ample without being gross 7pm Yes No No Finally, do you stand or sit to wipe? All hinges on this, bud, and don't you dare attempt to state a falsehood! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) Well, this is difficult. I usually tilt one buttock off the pan and slide the paper in sideways (none of that evil down the front stuff), but I have to admit to occasionally lifting both buttocks off the pan for a seriously sticky wipe. BTW I'm intending to consume the narcotics just before watching Clachnacuddin v Strathspey Thistle tomorrow, so please don't underestimate the required dose. Edited October 31, 2015 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Well, this is difficult. I usually tilt one buttock off the pan and slide the paper in sideways (none of that evil down the front stuff), but I have to admit to occasionally lifting both buttocks off the pan for a seriously sticky wipe. BTW I'm intending to consume the narcotics just before watching Clachnacuddin v Strathspey Thistle tomorrow, so please don't underestimate the required dose. A switch hitter, eh? Ok, mate. I'd dunt one, wait a hour see how you feel. Then tan another. Stay aff the pen and ink. Finally, if you can get you can source a nazi uniform to wear, whilst your under the influence, aw the better. Right wing extremists seem to have a better time on it than others. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 A switch hitter, eh? Ok, mate. I'd dunt one, wait a hour see how you feel. Then tan another. Stay aff the pen and ink. Finally, if you can get you can source a nazi uniform to wear, whilst your under the influence, aw the better. Right wing extremists seem to have a better time on it than others. Cheers pal, sound advice. Doubt a bit of WW2 regalia would raise much of a fuss a Grant Street, might just do the Oswald Mosley look, folk will just think I'm a skiving waiter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 ^^^^^ Stands type-post IMO Sakes Milly. No IMO about it. "I do not stand on protocol, but I stand to wipe. So, if you call me excellency, it will be ok" Henry Kissinger Stick that in your felch pole an sook it! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 My wife's bought chocolate and stuck the outside lights on as apparently that's how you tell guisers that they're welcome (they're not, as far as I'm concerned). Now she's in the kitchen doing something or other while I'm having to answer the door to wee scrotes in £3 ASDA costumes while trying to stop our own two kids from jumping off couches. f**k's sake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 The All Blacks having stripes of grey through their shirts. That's clearly not all black. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freudian Slap Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 You know why I fucking hate Halloween? The parents spend 364 days a year protecting their kids from strangers then one night encouraging them to knock doors and ask for stuff! Take them round your friends and family or whatever this knocking on doors and expecting free stuff just ain't on. Cheers for spoiling my Halloween! Copyright. J.Saville 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) You know why I fucking hate Halloween? The parents spend 364 days a year protecting their kids from strangers then one night encouraging them to knock doors and ask for stuff! Take them round your friends and family or whatever this knocking on doors and expecting free stuff just ain't on. Do the Scouts or Boys Brigade still do Bob a Job week? Knocking on strangers doors and asking if there's anything they'd like done for a shilling? Showing my age maybe.. Edited October 31, 2015 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Do the Scouts or Boys Brigade still do Bob a Job week? Knocking on strangers doors and asking if there's anything they'd like done for a shilling? Showing my age maybe.. There weren't any paedophiles in those days though, everybody knew the local '' childmolester '' and you just avoided his house. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjw Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 There weren't any paedophiles in those days though, everybody knew the local '' childmolester '' and you just avoided his house.Or Radio 1. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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