HGG Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 (edited) Never mind hell and handcarts, my mum went to hospital in a wheelbarrow tonight. Ok, that's not exactly true, but it sounded good . She did, however get carted from the road where she fell, back to the house, in said wheelbarrow, before the ambulance arrived to take her to hospital. Which leads me to my second point, more petty, point... My dad just phoned:- Dad: "I've got a Ginsters pie here. How do I cook it? The microwave's variable temperature but it's set at quarter past." Me: "I don't know your microwave well enough dad, no idea what that means." Dad: "Hm. 800W it says. How long do I cook the pie for?" Me: "What do the instructions say?" Dad: "Oven bake. Shit. No. Wait... Ah... To microwave... Cook for 1 min 20 secs. Well, do I take it out of the wrapper or what?" Me: "Does it say? What sort of wrapping is it in?" Dad: "No. The wrapper's just sort of green and black. It doesn't say anything about the packaging." Me: "Right. Dad. Just take it out the wrapper, put it on a plate... yes, any plate so long as it isn't metal... no, it doesn't have to be pyrex..., put it in the microwave and set the dial for 1 min 20." *Clattering of pots and plates, bit of a crash* Dad: "Shit. I'm dead!" *Quiet resumes* Dad: *Utterly confused* "Stand for one minute. But why do I need to..." Me: *Big sigh*. "It doesn't mean you! Just cook it, leave it a minute and then eat it." Dad: "But I don't want it yet. I want to eat it later for my supper." I give in... and I really hope my mum gets home tomorrow!!!!! Edited April 20, 2009 by HGG 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theentomologist Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Never mind hell and handcarts, my mum went to hospital in a wheelbarrow tonight.Ok, that's not exactly true, but it sounded good . She did, however get carted from the road where she fell, back to the house, in said wheelbarrow, before the ambulance arrived to take her to hospital. Which leads me to my second point, more petty, point... My dad just phoned:- Dad: "I've got a Ginsters pie here. How do I cook it? The microwave's variable temperature but it's set at quarter past." Me: "I don't know your microwave well enough dad, no idea what that means." Dad: "Hm. 800W it says. How long do I cook the pie for?" Me: "What do the instructions say?" Dad: "Oven bake. Shit. No. Wait... Ah... To microwave... Cook for 1 min 20 secs. Well, do I take it out of the wrapper or what?" Me: "Does it say? What sort of wrapping is it in?" Dad: "No. The wrapper's just sort of green and black. It doesn't say anything about the packaging." Me: "Right. Dad. Just take it out the wrapper, put it on a plate... yes, any plate so long as it isn't metal... no, it doesn't have to be pyrex..., put it in the microwave and set the dial for 1 min 20." *Clattering of pots and plates, bit of a crash* Dad: "Shit. I'm dead!" *Quiet resumes* Dad: *Utterly confused* "Stand for one minute. But why do I need to..." Me: *Big sigh*. "It doesn't mean you! Just cook it, leave it a minute and then eat it." Dad: "But I don't want it yet. I want to eat it later for my supper." I give in... and I really hope my mum gets home tomorrow!!!!! I realise this is causing irritation and there might be extenuating unfunny medical reasons etc. But I think I just laughed for 30 solid seconds at that. utter classic 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calum_gers Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Never mind hell and handcarts, my mum went to hospital in a wheelbarrow tonight.Ok, that's not exactly true, but it sounded good . She did, however get carted from the road where she fell, back to the house, in said wheelbarrow, before the ambulance arrived to take her to hospital. Which leads me to my second point, more petty, point... My dad just phoned:- Dad: "I've got a Ginsters pie here. How do I cook it? The microwave's variable temperature but it's set at quarter past." Me: "I don't know your microwave well enough dad, no idea what that means." Dad: "Hm. 800W it says. How long do I cook the pie for?" Me: "What do the instructions say?" Dad: "Oven bake. Shit. No. Wait... Ah... To microwave... Cook for 1 min 20 secs. Well, do I take it out of the wrapper or what?" Me: "Does it say? What sort of wrapping is it in?" Dad: "No. The wrapper's just sort of green and black. It doesn't say anything about the packaging." Me: "Right. Dad. Just take it out the wrapper, put it on a plate... yes, any plate so long as it isn't metal... no, it doesn't have to be pyrex..., put it in the microwave and set the dial for 1 min 20." *Clattering of pots and plates, bit of a crash* Dad: "Shit. I'm dead!" *Quiet resumes* Dad: *Utterly confused* "Stand for one minute. But why do I need to..." Me: *Big sigh*. "It doesn't mean you! Just cook it, leave it a minute and then eat it." Dad: "But I don't want it yet. I want to eat it later for my supper." I give in... and I really hope my mum gets home tomorrow!!!!! instead of posting all the reasons im annoyed...this cheered me up no end 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwififer Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 NZ immigration are feckin useless. Changing jobs, so changing visa's, all done at the Hamilton office who are usually on the ball... Except the job's in Auckland, and it has to go through their office. They said (lied) to me that it had been sent up last week, except when I called them a few minutes ago, they admitted that it was still 'in transit' and hadn't arrived in Auckland yet. It's an hour up the feckin road, I could have collected it and drove it up myself. I've put my four week notice in at work, the gf starts her new job in four weeks time, we have to get somewhere to stay, the new job's wondering when I'm starting and to top it all off, the useless cow at immigration turned round to me and said 'if the job offer's withdrawn, or we don't accept it, you will be asked to return to Scotland'. In other words, deported. I didn't come here to sit on my arse claiming benefits, I came to work. The job's within the skilled migrant shortage catagory (in other words, they don't have enough Kiwi's skilled enough to do it), they need me in the job, so what's the feckin hold up? If you hear a faint scream, don't worry, it's only me...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 But I think I just laughed for 30 solid seconds at that. utter classic instead of posting all the reasons im annoyed...this cheered me up no end I was all set to moan about the fact that, despite advertising breakfast being available until 11.00am, Greggs had completely run out of bacon baguettes when I got to work at 07:30am today. But one swatch at HGG's Dad's attempt at a Nigella Express and I'm giggling away quite happily. Thank you for sharing that with us young lady! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Balgreen rd.Anybody that has the misfortune to drive in Edinburgh will no what i mean. Fume. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 I've just checked the flight screen for later on.... 13:00 Dubai 427 pax 13:00 Alicante 187 pax 13:10 Malaga 189 pax 13:20 malaga 115 pax That's 918 passenger's landing in a 20 minute window! Fuckityfuckitytitwanks....... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 The Dubai and Alicante are now showing as zoning..... .....I may be some time..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 The Dubai and Alicante are now showing as zoning..........I may be some time..... You still there?? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 You still there?? Aye. 'In the zone' or 'zoning' means the plane is in Glasgow Airport airspace so as the arrivals control is only 10 seconds walk down the stair from my desk there's no real point in me going down until the plane has landed.................ah...it just has .....bye for now.....*waves* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 (edited) 13:00 Dubai 427 pax 13:00 Alicante 187 pax 13:10 Malaga 189 pax 13:20 Malaga 115 pax That's 918 passenger's landing in a 20 minute window! Then within 20 minutes we got 13:40 Amsterdam 71 pax 13:43 Malaga 230 pax 13:57 Alicante 215 pax That's 1335 passenger's in total with just the 7 of us on. Faaaaaaaaaarrrrrkinnnnell!! *Collapses into his chair exhausted* Edited April 21, 2009 by Kilt 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 I have had to do so much admin today i have hardly had time to get on to P&B ... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 I have had to do so much admin today i have hardly had time to get on to P&B ... My heart bleeds for you! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theentomologist Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 that bloody Raquel/Susan Walker/Dave Charnley choir singing thing on bbc1, so flaming obvious predictable sunday evening gentle adultery type tale. its just not tuesday night fare really is it -I have only watched 2 episodes. shove it to sundays to fill the lark rise slot and put the new series of spooks or something in there PLEASE!! also liverpool 94minute equaliser 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gall09 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 The Volvic Challenge advert. "I wasn't expecting it but i feel active, i feel alert so, eh, watch out boys" Smarmy, trying to be "real" pish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Bloody fire alarm woke me up at 6. Just as I was getting fully dressed it stop going off and now I cant get back to sleep Only got 3 hours sleep and got a couple of things at uni today before a night out tonight. Should be an interesting day 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I think I have sinusitis. My right nostril really hurts and it's making my right eye and forehead hurt! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Junk Faxes. Why of why do companies insist in sending out the bloody things day after day.Why should i fax them back at my experience to say i don't want your bloody adverts.Fume. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALDERON Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Bird - "You dont go to football EVERY Saturday do you? I thought we could do lunch?! " 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ss..schlecht Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Bird - "You dont go to football EVERY Saturday do you? I thought we could do lunch?! " Although anybody who says you should "do lunch" is an arsehole. Dump her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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