smpar Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Shouldn't you be in yer bed ya whippersnapper? Yep, and I'll wake up with sheets that are pish free, it's a shame the same can't be said for you! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Was just in WH Smith buying a magazine and I forgot that they give you loads of pishy vouchers. They were fired in to the bin outside to nestle among their various companions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 "Everything Everywhere" being "Nothing anywhere" for the last 2 hours. Right, which one of you is the funny c*nt? EEVerified account@EE @KxvLL Working on it sir We'll keep you updated pic.twitter.com/JJnsCq4rX3 Reply Retweet Favorite More RETWEETS144 FAVORITES105 12:56 PM - 19 Mar 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widge Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Hang on EE's down. Crying shame I'm with T-Mobile who have amalgamated to certain extent and my networks fine. My wee EE internet signals as strong as ever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I have to go to a funeral tomorrow. Can't be arsed to be honest but its the wife's auntie. Pass the time by playing funeral bingo. To get you started..... "She's in a better place now" "She's at rest now" "At least it was painless" (unless of course it was very painful) I'm sure there are lots of others 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I have to go to a funeral tomorrow. Can't be arsed to be honest but its the wife's auntie. I was at one the other week where everyone wore the traditional black as requested except the only gay guy in the missus family who rocked up in a grey suit, white shirt and pink tie. He looked fabulous. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Don't forget... "She had a good innings" (this tired cliche must have them rolling in the aisles if the deceased actually used to play cricket) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Right, which one of you is the funny c*nt? EEVerified account@EE @KxvLL Working on it sir We'll keep you updated pic.twitter.com/JJnsCq4rX3 Reply Retweet Favorite More RETWEETS144 FAVORITES105 12:56 PM - 19 Mar 2014 :lol: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Pass the time by playing funeral bingo. To get you started..... "She's in a better place now" "She's at rest now" "At least it was painless" (unless of course it was very painful) I'm sure there are lots of others I will give you £100 if you loudly 'boooo' and heckle during the eulogy. I will give you another £100 if you sing an offensive song directed at the corpse as the coffin is lowered in the ground or at the finale. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Sorted. I'll draw up a card tonight for me to score them off. Tempting, very tempting. Otherwise I was considering going as a full kit Aberdeen w****r. Don't take a vuvuzela, they hate that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 People who can't grasp the concept of one door for entrance and one for leaving. See also; a set of stairs divided in the middle by a railing whereby one side is for going up and one for descending. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meanmistermustard Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 People who stand in the doorway of a shop fiddling about with their phone. Get out of the fucking way and let others by. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev23 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Driving. Fucking hate it but needs must. Going to Braehead tomorrow and the thought of sitting for nearly 2 hours doing nothing except, well driving, is killing me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Driving. Fucking hate it but needs must. Going to Braehead tomorrow and the thought of sitting for nearly 2 hours doing nothing except, well driving, is killing me. Sounds. Music, comedy, play, documentary, whatever. Keep it quite loud so you don't notice if you hit someone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Decided to shave my head for the first time with my new clippers. I foresaw danger so went for a nice safe number 4 blade so that just in case I made an arse of it, I could go down the barbers and get a number 2 all over. Turns out I actually made an alright job of it, except for the 2 inch "scar" I now sport right on the top of my head. There's not much a barber can do with that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Decided to shave my head for the first time with my new clippers. I foresaw danger so went for a nice safe number 4 blade so that just in case I made an arse of it, I could go down the barbers and get a number 2 all over. Turns out I actually made an alright job of it, except for the 2 inch "scar" I now sport right on the top of my head. There's not much a barber can do with that. I bought clippers a few months ago. Work fine, did the no2 and 3 etc, but took ages. Tried it again but forgot to put the plastic thing on so gave myself a zero gash on the side, so had to go zero all over. Ultra quick. Back to the barbers now, but clippers are waiting in case of emergency. Leave it to the professionals, it only takes 10 minutes of leaning into a pair of breasts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I bought clippers a few months ago. Work fine, did the no2 and 3 etc, but took ages. Tried it again but forgot to put the plastic thing on so gave myself a zero gash on the side, so had to go zero all over. Ultra quick. Back to the barbers now, but clippers are waiting in case of emergency. Leave it to the professionals, it only takes 10 minutes of leaning into a pair of breasts. Aye, it does take ages especially having to stagger around like a new born baby giraffe trying to see the back of my head in the 2 mirrors in my bathroom. I'll get slagged tonight for the gash, but not as much as I would for a tuppenny-all off (especially since I was stoating round the work flicking my flowing locks only this afternoon). Hopefully it will have grown back a modicum before my hot date on Sunday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambozpar Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 When you want to use a council gym, why do you have to have an induction to show you how to use the equipment in the event you might hurt yourself but when you want to use the swimming pool they don't test your ability to use the equipment ie the water? Surely the consequences of not being able to swim are worse than not knowing how to use an exercise bike? Failed the council gym induction thread for this shit please 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Driving. Fucking hate it but needs must. Going to Braehead tomorrow and the thought of sitting for nearly 2 hours doing nothing except, well driving, is killing me. I love driving, but I hate other drivers. Without them I would enjoy it even more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Sunday, Mothers Day isn't it? Oh shit.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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