Dee Man Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 What the f**k did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the SAS, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f**k out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Europe and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Kingdom special services and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo. Whilst searching the world wide tinterweb to source the origins of this fantastic piece of prose, I stumbled across this majestic definition for gorilla warfare in the Urban Dictionary: gorilla warfare shave your pubes on a pillow, get a girl to give you a bj, semenate in her face, and slam her face on the pillow Oh man, I gave Kristi a taste of some gorilla warfare last night. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Shit patter. Pub stop in Glasgow between Aberdeen and Ayrshire. Guy has come in. 'Happy haircut' to one 'Me never' with a laugh to every lame answer and a 'Friday...let the party begin' four times. Just fucking shut up Mr Boring 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Adverts on the P+B mobile page as well now sakes This 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I just keep getting The Rock, which is fine as he's the fucking boi Are the ads based on your browsing history? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Adverts on the P+B mobile page as well now sakes Yes, and I paid for fucking platinum too! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I just keep getting The Rock, which is fine as he's the fucking boi Funny, I'd have thought Mr T would appear at the side of yours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maplewell Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 People who refer to American Football as "NFL" as in, "where can I play NFL?" Not as bad as the many Canadians that have asked me "Who do you support in FIFA?" They generalize all international and club teams and leagues in Europe into one ffs 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Years ago I told an American that I played a bit of football back in the day and he asked "Did you play in the UEFA Cup?" I think he was quite pleased at the opportunity to demonstrate his fitba knowledge. Yep, Barcelona. Real Madrid and Inter Milan were frequent Sunday morning visitors to the local municipal park in my UEFA Cup glory days. They were big fans of the orange slices at half time. The ankle deep mud, not so much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I enjoyed a game of SPFL in my younger days I must say 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I need to go to Balloch/Dumbarton today. #PrayforMozza 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Cvnts in the gym who wear baseball caps or worse, beanie hats 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Cvnts in the gym who wear baseball caps or worse, beanie hats why on earth would that bother you?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 why on earth would that bother you?! Because people who wear any kind of hat indoors are clowns. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Yes, and I paid for fucking platinum too! No adverts for this platinum member 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 why on earth would that bother you?! ^^^ Wears a hat to the gym Because people who wear any kind of hat indoors are clowns. ^^^ Knows the score about people wearing hats in Gyms 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I need to go to Balloch/Dumbarton today. Swing by my work and get my pass that I left on my desk, eh? And you can drop off that fucking Moray Cup you promised me months ago. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 ^^^ Wears a hat to the gym ^^^ Knows the score about people wearing hats in Gyms I might just start wearing one incase you're about! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I might just start wearing one incase you're about! Stop trying to pick men up in the gym. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Because people who wear any kind of hat indoors are clowns. I didn't think clowns wore hats.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Stop trying to pick men up in the gym. Oh Romeo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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