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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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A colleague just muttered “I’m losing the plot” as he walked out of the room, staring in confusion at his phone (no idea what it was about).

Then another colleague piped up with “I lost it years ago”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fucking TEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE! How utterly wacky and zany she must be! What a giggle! LOL! FUCKING LOL! You don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps! CHORTLE! MADNESS! What a japester!

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c***s standing at the crossing on an empty street waiting for the green man's permission to cross.

You're obviously not a driver. What's worse than this is approaching a crossing and being stopped at a red light with no fucker in sight. Infuriating! So as a rule of thumb, if I ever press the button at a crossing (that isn't a loop system) I will wait for the green guy, even if no cars are coming.

I'll also wait for the green man to come up if there are young kids waiting, just so I set a good example :P

Edited by 19QOS19
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You're obviously not a driver. What's worse than this is approaching a crossing and being stopped at a red light with no fucker in sight. Infuriating! So as a rule of thumb, if I ever press the button at a crossing (that isn't a loop system) I will wait for the green guy, even if no cars are coming.

I'll also wait for the green man to come up if there are young kids waiting, just so I set a good example :P

Haha that's a fair view. I must admit I've been part cause of that at times. When I press the button, only for the traffic to clear and cross anyway. This then leads to the next lot of traffic coming along having to stop when I'm already away. I hereby apologise :P

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You're obviously not a driver. What's worse than this is approaching a crossing and being stopped at a red light with no fucker in sight. Infuriating! So as a rule of thumb, if I ever press the button at a crossing (that isn't a loop system) I will wait for the green guy, even if no cars are coming.

I'll also wait for the green man to come up if there are young kids waiting, just so I set a good example :P

Haha that's a fair view. I must admit I've been part cause of that at times. When I press the button, only for the traffic to clear and cross anyway. This then leads to the next lot of traffic coming along having to stop when I'm already away. I hereby apologise :P

I once witnessed a chap pressing the button at a crossing at a crossroads, before looking around and assessing that he could probably nip across the road in between light changes.

A white van man at the front of the lights he was crossing at took exception to this and started blasting his horn, wound down his window and, purple faced with rage, started yelling at the guy, "WHAT THE f**k WAS THE POINT OF PRESSING THE BUTTON IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO CROSS?" After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing between them, the chap (who was almost at the other side of the road by now) says, "fine, I'll wait then" and proceeds to cross back to his starting position and waits for the green man.

It duly arrived about 10 seconds later and the chap crossed the road, eyes front but with his arm outstretched to his left and his middle finger extended, aimed at the white van man.

You probably had to be there but I was creased.

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I once witnessed a chap pressing the button at a crossing at a crossroads, before looking around and assessing that he could probably nip across the road in between light changes.

A white van man at the front of the lights he was crossing at took exception to this and started blasting his horn, wound down his window and, purple faced with rage, started yelling at the guy, "WHAT THE f**k WAS THE POINT OF PRESSING THE BUTTON IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO CROSS?" After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing between them, the chap (who was almost at the other side of the road by now) says, "fine, I'll wait then" and proceeds to cross back to his starting position and waits for the green man.

It duly arrived about 10 seconds later and the chap crossed the road, eyes front but with his arm outstretched to his left and his middle finger extended, aimed at the white van man.

You probably had to be there but I was creased.

A genuine laugh out loud ????????????

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Last week I got stopped at a pedestrian crossing at the coop by an old man with a Zimmer frame holding a pre packed sandwich.

The old b*****d walked half way over the road, very slowly I might add, stopped, turned and looked at me then took a bite out his sandwich! Stood staring at me for a moment whilst I politely insisted he get out the way before finally slowly Ambling on.

I was raging but as soon as I explained to the wife what had happened I burst out laughing.

Old dick!

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People with the inability to hold and use cutlery in the appropriate manner. A knife isn't a shovel, spear or pencil, so don't hold it like one. I genuinely want to stab these people in the throat. I don't know why, but the majority of culprits at my work are Glaswegians.

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On a car related topic. I parkex my car in the Gyle all by itself plenty of room all over the place. By the time I got out anothet car parked so close on the right I had to squeeze my ample frame out the door. Meanwhile another motor parked so close to my rear (ahem)

I could hardly open the boot.

Remember once parking there on a Sunday.

Got my shopping, headed back and paid the ticket.

When I get down the bottom to the barrier, it's open because it's free parking Sunday!!!!!!

Nothing on the Pay machine said free Sunday.

And why does it say you owe X if it's free???

Just a con.

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Apparently I look like a smoker. Since I was twelve, I've regularly had strangers coming up to me in the street trying to bum fags

You people, with your smoking, drinking, butt-sexing ways <_<

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