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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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I'm sure she will deserve a full night pay, I would think, though can't be certain, she will be required to empty many soup bowls of vomit, as these are my largest vessels available.

It's a shame really, as, if I was a caring Valentines host I should really make sure she was able to indulge in top class Mumm & Ferrero Rocher as she wipes vomit from my chin/man boobs/ floor, but as I know that isn't palatable. I'd prefer she gets a full night pay in return for me not violating her vagina with all the inevitable disappointment that would cause.

If you can afford a hooker you can afford a bucket

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Just got a new one!

In the same pub!

Two ridiculous, " look how individual I am" hipsters, coincidentally, sporting the same fucking ridiculous beards, clothes, tattoos, to be fair to them, they are individual in so much as one is wearing a snap back( don't get me started) and the other is wearing a tiny trilby.

In turn they are laughing at people drinking Jaeger bombs, as they are so common! GTF you p***ks!

Oh, and tiny trilby was just offered a lighter to light his ridiculously thin, pink cigarette - he refused, citing this reason- "I'm old school" then proceeded to withdraw a box of Cooks Matches - full size!

I think I may spend the next few months in jail- c***s!

I'm getting an idea for a Mary Porter/ Gordon Ramsay style pub trouble-shooter show. You'd be a star. 60 minutes of you tearing through staff and customers until the pub has been cleansed/exorcised.

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Just got a new one!

In the same pub!

Two ridiculous, " look how individual I am" hipsters, coincidentally, sporting the same fucking ridiculous beards, clothes, tattoos, to be fair to them, they are individual in so much as one is wearing a snap back( don't get me started) and the other is wearing a tiny trilby.

In turn they are laughing at people drinking Jaeger bombs, as they are so common! GTF you p***ks!

Oh, and tiny trilby was just offered a lighter to light his ridiculously thin, pink cigarette - he refused, citing this reason- "I'm old school" then proceeded to withdraw a box of Cooks Matches - full size!

I think I may spend the next few months in jail- c***s!

Jaegerbombs at 10 to 2, where are you drinking?
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Just got a new one!

In the same pub!

Two ridiculous, " look how individual I am" hipsters, coincidentally, sporting the same fucking ridiculous beards, clothes, tattoos, to be fair to them, they are individual in so much as one is wearing a snap back( don't get me started) and the other is wearing a tiny trilby.

In turn they are laughing at people drinking Jaeger bombs, as they are so common! GTF you p***ks!

Oh, and tiny trilby was just offered a lighter to light his ridiculously thin, pink cigarette - he refused, citing this reason- "I'm old school" then proceeded to withdraw a box of Cooks Matches - full size!

I think I may spend the next few months in jail- c***s!

Old Skool? Cigarette lighters were invented before matches.

Thundercunt Fail

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Just got a new one!

In the same pub!

Two ridiculous, " look how individual I am" hipsters, coincidentally, sporting the same fucking ridiculous beards, clothes, tattoos, to be fair to them, they are individual in so much as one is wearing a snap back( don't get me started) and the other is wearing a tiny trilby.

In turn they are laughing at people drinking Jaeger bombs, as they are so common! GTF you p***ks!

Oh, and tiny trilby was just offered a lighter to light his ridiculously thin, pink cigarette - he refused, citing this reason- "I'm old school" then proceeded to withdraw a box of Cooks Matches - full size!

I think I may spend the next few months in jail- c***s!

Are you sure you weren't being filmed for one of those candid camera shows?

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People who like football but don't support a team

People who think Dundee is now great. It's the equivalent of a 5/10 girl losing a bit of weight and learning how to apply make up and is now a7/10 at best

If you don't like Dundee don't visit the place. Problem solved.

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I've been there a few times en route to Forfar. The odd night out there. It looks like a decent city center and surrounds that have had recent redevelopment. Nothing more nothing less.

I have a Dundonian friend who constantly brags about how brilliant it is as if it's somehow on a par with edin /Glasgow when it clearly isn't

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Dundee - It's very decent, the nightlife is excellent. I understand what you're saying though, Fudge. There's A LOT of folk trying to talk it up too much.

Glasgow and Edinburgh are visually lovely, just a shame it's filled with weegies and whatever you call folk from Edinburgh (apart from tossers).

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Dundee is a decent small city with many decent pubs, clubs and music venues. I just feel some people with ties to Dundee now think it's somehow amazing. It is compared to what it was 20 years ago but in comparison to Edinburgh /Glasgow is still poor in comparison.

Thankfully I'm in the #westend of Glasgow and not the student infested bit

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My pals demanding we all go to the student union the night and no even just for a bit, all night.

I feel like when yer da turns up at the dancin'

^ ^ ^

Beast confirmed or whatever

Sent from my iPhone using Pie & Bovril

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Something for nothing mentality.

Cut a long story short, a deceased police officer's family tried and failed to sue the bloke's employer for failing to suitably protect him against a gunman who shot him. B.T.W. he didn't die in the incident.

We could get into debate about nature if the job etc...but that's not my point here.

The family lost the case and were told they had to pay the legal costs on both sides. Now they are claiming insensitivity etc by the force for asking them to pay.

So, they expect the taxpayer to subsidise their claim. Fair enough IF they were going to give the money back if they had won...but i doubt it.

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