NorthernJambo Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 It also helps to pat the seat next to you whilst maintaining eye contact with them, to ensure keeping the seat free. Rub your thighs as well. Sure fire way to make sure you keep your own space. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 If all that fails and it looks like they're about to plank their arse next to you, loudly ask them "Have you accepted our lord and saviour Jesus Christ into your heart?". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Double post 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 If all that fails and it looks like they're about to plank their arse next to you, loudly ask them "Have you accepted our lord and saviour Jesus Christ into your heart?". That would be a sure fire invitation to the type of weirdo who'd sit next to you when there's plenty of spare seats. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Splashback when taking a shite. We should have introduced the jobby shelf when we were in the EU and had the chance... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 New phone and it gives notifications about the traffic in the area I am or asks me for reviews of where I am, This while it in my pocket and I not doing anything. It just tells me this stuff and where I am, (this morning was a message about light traffic on the A947, yesterday was a request to provide a review of the Northern Hotel), Its like be stalked by my fucking phone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 10 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said: New phone and it gives notifications about the traffic in the area I am or asks me for reviews of where I am, This while it in my pocket and I not doing anything. It just tells me this stuff and where I am, (this morning was a message about light traffic on the A947, yesterday was a request to provide a review of the Northern Hotel), Its like be stalked by my fucking phone I've complained about being belittled by my phone on here too. Even to the extent it was telling me it was bedtime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 14 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: I've complained about being belittled by my phone on here too. Even to the extent it was telling me it was bedtime. Did you have vibrate switched on? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 2 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: If all that fails and it looks like they're about to plank their arse next to you, loudly ask them "Have you accepted our lord and saviour Jesus Christ into your heart?". And then they say "Indeed I have!" and start rabbiting on about how wonderful their life is since they found Jesus, and you can't move to another seat so you have to get off the bus miles before you get to your stop. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I fucked my shoulder about 6 months ago and now I can't even drive without it hurting. I've manned up and booked a doctors appointment for next week but can just see them fobbing me off 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Those fuckin meerkats in the TV ads have overstayed their welcome. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 48 minutes ago, GordonD said: And then they say "Indeed I have!" and start rabbiting on about how wonderful their life is since they found Jesus, and you can't move to another seat so you have to get off the bus miles before you get to your stop. I had a mad aunt on my dad's (Fife) side of the family who slid into alcoholism and spent the last years of her life wandering the streets of Edinburgh waylaying folk with her refrain "Have you accepted Christ into your heart?". Last time I saw her was at a funeral where she started a mass brawl in the Toll Bar in Methil with her religious crap. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) 34 minutes ago, Fae_the_'briggs said: Those fuckin meerkats in the TV ads have overstayed their welcome. Those bloody foreign animals coming into this country and stealing work from British animals........ BREXIT NOW and send them home Edited January 5, 2017 by MEADOWXI 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDuffman Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 People that post a picture on your favourite MILF thread without saying who it is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 People that come into work when they are sick and then smugly tell people like they are some sort of hero for being brave. Get to f**k ya selfish b*****d. I don't want your scabby germs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 People who skive off work with a paper cut and leave the rest to cover for them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Glasgow City Council and their new parking restrictions. If you want to apply for a resident's badge, you go on to the website to be told Quote Unfortunately the application form for parking permits is not yet available as it is currently being modified. When it is available it will appear on the right hand side of the screen. We apologise for any inconvenience and appreciate your patience in this matter. So you phone the number on the page instead, where you navigate through a series of menus, in between which a recording tells you that you can apply on the website. Once you get to the option you want, you are given the same info about applying on the website. Twice. Although it is in a different voice to the one you listen to during the menu. Then they cut you off. Absolutely magnificent customer service. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Further to my rant on the facebook thread about wee fannies and their "sesh", I am submitting Strongbow Dark Fruits as todays pttgoyn. Get it in the fucking sea. Utter pish. All it is is a crutch for wee fuds who dont actually even like drinking to be able to be in a pub. Learn to love lager or GTF. Fruit cider is for fannies. Edited January 5, 2017 by Rugster Forgot the fruit. Oops 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I'll stick my head out here, I don't mind fruit cider. I wouldn't drink 3 of them like and only tend to even have one if I'm hungover but at times they serve a purpose. I await the ridicule. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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