tamthebam

A wee tale from a Cowden v Thistle match at Central Park: Thistle fans are giving the board pelters from the back of the main stand. Cue Blobby himself calling a steward over. Steward comes up the stairs to talk to a fellow steward standing next to the Thistle fans. He uttered the immortal words "That fat c*nt wants us to throw these boys out. Well he can f*ck off" Always had a wee soft spot for the Blue Brazil after that!

I think that ambidextrous wanking is quite a skill. Have you ever thought of putting on a show on the Fringe?

I've been practising urethral stretching since my early teens and apart from severe myopia and hairy palms I'm fine....

a couple of those players left last season Dougie's been on holiday and Stobie and Amos have played in the League Cup as signed players so I think this is not entirely accurate... meanwhile at Pacific Quay: Is Tri Alist still a signed City player...?

if memorising pi to 3000 decimal places gets you a shag then fine. Personally I don't see the point when 22/7 does me quite fine. another funky Saturday night for Cream Cheese

maybe Joe stole his dinner money at school and that's why Deeks turned out that way

666- the number of the Beast 668- the neighbour of the Beast

I don't think Big Joe would take any nonsense from Mr Riordan let alone our management team...

aye diddy team signs well known player in his twilight years to try to flog shirts. I'm glad our biggest Scottish clubs never stoop to such tactics...

South Korea is a shitehole. There, that's me banned by our new Seoul P&B overlords...

Is 68 just like a 69 but one of the participants is a fat c*nt?

Pyongyang! (that's the sound of a sniper's bullet narrowly missing Mozza...)

P&B seems to have been hacked by Koreans! I for one welcome our new overlords from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. All Hail the Great Leader! Hiya P&B, Hiya Comrades!

I have a sore heid and keep seeing the Goat of Mendes. Must be an Occult Migraine.

In the early 1960s the BBC had to censure Duncan Macrae's rendition of the "Wee Cock Sparra" as it included the verse "The Wee Cock Sparra was shagged to death by Michael Marra" and this was thought to be potentially libellous. A bootleg recording of the uncensored version is believed to have been smuggled out by Johnny Beattie who used to play it during the audience warm up prior to recording his show "Now You See It" on STV.

As Frankie Howerd said "It's wicked to mock the afflicted" but sorry Pete, I just couldn't help thinking of this...

and as a fully qualified internet doctor (online degree from the University of Kwackeri, Nigeria) may I offer this panacea to all your conditions:

I notice that none of you hoormeisters out there have owned up to STDs yet.... .. and no, I don't have one!

Ross Allum's got new boots...

I'm going to sell my shares in 20 years time to a fat chancer who'll move the club to Prestonpans as East Lothian needs League football....

f*cking dece pies. get in early though.

"got his arse bit by a dog" eh? Bangkok Hilton for you once the polis find out- couldn't you have just stuck to the ladyboys, eh?!

Meadowbank Thistle used to get a lot of players from the local Juniors and East of Scotland Leagues and give them their chance in the Scottish League.

Buckingham Palace have reacted the the Referendum result by announcing that the Queen's grandchild will have to change her name forthwith to Genie.