tamthebam

the mods this morning...

I notice its "than I've had pints in the Golden Gates" and not "that I've bought pints in the Golden Gates"

Dentistry's gain was gynaecology's loss...

The Tennis Party by John Lavery. I once worked with Lavery's great great (or something) niece. She was quite posh and had a nice arse. Yes, wid. No, I don't have pics so I'll have to GTF.

the town behind the figures is Montrose where the artist was born. I've seen a similar picture without the figures in it.

pretending to be a wally dug but you just know he's waiting for a chance to cowp the vase, scratch the painting and shit in the plant pot!

also a decent song by Wirral funsters Half Man Half Biscuit...

Confessions of a Bam Part 415: Edinburgh City's u18s played their first ever game against East Fife u18s in the Scottish Youth Cup at the old Bayview- which was one of the last ever games it hosted. I pinched a wooden "No Smoking" sign from the back of the stand as a souvenir and later sent it to the Editor of AFTN. I don't know if he ever got it because the c**t never sent me a reply. Perhaps I should have kept the sign for my collection of football memorabilia/tat.

Hey Statto types: That 13-2 win was recorded by the East Fife team that would go on to win the Scottish Cup against Kilmarnock and were, until our lovely green neighbours triumphed this year, the only lower league team to win the Scottish Cup.

The Laurel and Hardy article was probably postponed due to a certain Son of the Desert never getting round to writing it... Incidentally my old man saw Laurel and Hardy when they visited Edinburgh on tour in the early 1950s, I was reminded recently of AWOL's Thistle/Smiths songs list for some reason. The best one was "There is a shite that never goes off (Chic Charnley)"

I know Dundee United were fairly shite prior to the 1960s but that league double over them in 1939 looks impressive!

quite a few scouts in attendance today... ..Rosco had three good chances in the first half but failed to convert them so perhaps we should have gone in leading at half time. i was a bit disappointed at the goal we lost- anyone who has followed Renton's career from Musselburgh onwards would know he is a good header of the ball. At least we grabbed an equaliser and McGurn showed he is a class act today. Honours even. 3 points would have been nice but we're unbeaten in 3 Scottish League games now which is probably a record considering how shite the original City team of the 1930s were!

I like McIntosh Patrick's style- chap I knew had a painting of his showing the Carse of Gowrie in his office but unfortunately I couldn't have got away with nicking it...!

challenge accepted Mr B! ..perhaps a wee bit harsh but there you are...!

just grin and pluck yer banjo with the rest of the customers, min.

an article in Der Sturmer eh? Are hordes of bengals swamping the country from the EU causing house prices to fall and the break up of Britain?

Yup. Long story- Needed renovation which was unaffordable plus the council put in a noise monitor after complaints from flat nearby- they even moaned about the pensioners' bingo session which was hardly a Motorhead concert (although that cheating b*****d Lemmy's numbers always seemed to come up). Hoppy's alright but I would always drink in a team's social club given the choice.

tbf to Tam the fan probably owed him money!

Nasal neds are bowfing to be fair but it's more the words they use than the accent as such. I don't particularly care for the Mawningsehd/Kelvingrove posh accents you get amongst older people, sometimes even ministers... only the second worst accent... the second worst accent...

we were! Tam "the original Bam" Nolan hit a ball off Sammy the Tammy's arse during the warm up A feature on City players Tam Nolan and Robert Foggo appeared in "The Sun" under the headline "We're going to drink and sh*g our way to the top".... this led to Foggo getting the nickname "Golden Groin" amongst certain fans... A player from the original City, Jack Turnbull, was tracked down and attended the match. He was 93 but Big Dave who talked to him remembered "he could take a right drink"..

My blood runs coldMy memory has just been soldMr Blobby is the centrefoldBlobby is the centrefold!

I can help thinking Biggie should do a painting of Smudger. Perhaps taking Rousseau's Tiger in a Tropical Storm as a template... ...Smudger in a Dondeh downpour perhaps...!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-37937351 Famed Cat statue in Istanbul returned after being nicked. Better than Greyfriars Bobby if you ask me...!