Sweet Pete

Yes, I understand how radiators work. Thank you for your support.

Dug's deid.

I repair c***s' houses when they f**k something up. Yes, I am, of course, capable of fitting locks to my doors. No, however, I shan't be doing that. I have two kids for a start, and the authorities take a dim view of locking your kids up. Look what happened to that poor DIY enthusiast from Austria.

No woman wants to go near your pockets.

It puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again.

In that case, I agree. My current spouse leaves all the doors open because "it helps the heat circulate when the heating's on". When I incredulously explained to her that that's fucking stupid and closing the doors throughout the house when using the heating is a far quicker, smarter, more efficient and, frankly, the only way to do it, she countered that her dad taught her to do it that way. And she's right enough, he does as well. Leaves all the doors in his house open. Drives me fucking mad. Whenever we visit him I go round and shut the doors to the bedrooms, bathroom etc and he comes along behind me and opens them again without saying anything. Endlessly and silently we play out this passive agressive war of attrition with no clear victory for either side.

Surely if the phone or the toothbrush aren't plugged into the dock, then they're not using electricity, regardless of the fact that the chargers are plugged in and turned on at the socket? You need to plug the device onto it to complete the circuit.

They'll be saying it's fine to go out in a jacket with nothing on under it next. Drunken hobo chic. "She's turned the weans against us!"

A nice chunky Aran knit you like on your naked flesh, is it?

This forum never fails to out the creeps. They're floating around here just choking to admit their kinks. It's like they want to get caught. Walking around the town in a sweatshirt with no t-shirt on, chafed nipples rubbing against the material, girning with delight. Freaks and oddballs.

Symptomless gonorrhea.

If you were one of them my opinion of you would be exactly the same. You're either at the wind up with this old firm fan charade, or your facade of likeability is really quite a deep and well rehearsed mask to conceal your inner old firmy-ness i.e scumbaggery. You're too good for the arse cheeks, wee man. And I think you know that.

More and more I'm convinced he's at it. He'd stick out like a sore thumb among the half-evolved hordes at Ibrox.

Done it a few times. First was playing football aged 20, tore the ACL and cracked the kneecap simultaneously. Since then it pops out now and then, most recently when playing on the living room floor with my son. Hurts, but more than the pain is the really odd, alien feeling of something being somewhere it shouldn't. It only pops out for a second, slides straight back in again.

So she watches TV with you, at the original 2 or 3 volume? Which would presumably mean she can hear it at that level. But you can't because you're, apparently, hard of hearing, so you turn it up, knowing full well it'll wake your child, lead to him crying and an argument with your partner? Stop being a dick.

Ruggy does a bit of sunbathing.

Only beasts wear jumpers without anything underneath. And only beasts wear warm clothes when it's a roasting hot summer. And only beasts are afraid to show their arms. Enjoy your cell, beast.

You should have taken the jumper off. Not exactly rocket science. Also, what the f**k are you wearing a jumper for, it's like Monte Carlo in Scotland the now.

It's not bothering her though, it's waking your kid. Stop being a dick.

No idea what this comment means. I don't do wage skips for anyone. Or do you, and you're making a comment about your own work whilst inexplicably quoting me?

Hey, I thought you lived in the outer schemes of Dunbartonshire?

It's a campaign by Marie Osmond and Kilmarnock FC. Great Day for Paper Roses.

If I lived in a windswept backwater like that, I'd probably believe in hell too.

One of the best things about my job is the amount of times I have an excuse to use solvent cement.