Miguel Sanchez

Journey to the Savage Planet (PS4, 2020) Journey to the Savage Planet is a first person shooter about... an explorer, employed by Kindred Aerospace to go and explore space and find planets with creatures, resources and so on, and catalogue them. Maybe alert Kindred if there's anything valuable they should come to exploit. Only when the explorer crash lands on ARY-26 it's not actually a planet, and there's a lot more life on it than first thought. Including a giant, foreboding tower that was clearly built by an advanced species. The bulk of the gameplay is centred around exploring, cataloguing the world and doing some platforming. You can scan creatures and plants to find out what they're called. You have a pistol which you can shoot any aggressive creatures with. Some will attack you, some won't. As you progress you'll be able to unlock side-quests to upgrade your pistol and equipment, allowing you to jump higher, use your jetpack multiple times to effectively triple jump, that sort of thing. There are lots of creatures and plants which require different approaches to survive, but everything ultimately comes down to firing and moving as much as you can. Nothing's going to kill you unless you get stuck somewhere, or you haven't found many health upgrades. The platforming element is a little different, and is arguably the game's main strength. If a double jump is fun, an extremely powerful quadruple jump which effectively lets you fly around for a few seconds is even more fun. There's a grapple system which allows for horizontal and vertical movement, and this just ends up being a satisfying way of spending your time. While there isn't much interaction with the world outside of the scanning and shooting, the game features an assortment of plants which function as grenades. You find a plant, you pick off a fruit which works as a bomb, or an electric shock, you have to throw it quickly because it's not stable and your suit can't handle it. But then you do a little side-quest and then you can collect and hold them and then the story can move on. There's some nice variety in the combat and exploration available through this but it typifies one of the game's biggest problems. At times it feels very procedural. You need to get somewhere. You find something in the way, so you need to go and find or make something to allow you to move on. Then you go a bit further until the same thing happens with a different plant. In a game which is ostensibly about exploration it feels a bit hollow. Despite what I said about the movement, the world itself isn't that interesting to explore. I don't really know that there's a word or phrase for how I felt while I was playing but I suppose I never really felt involved. I didn't care about the planet. Even by the time I got to the end and found out why it was the way it was, I wasn't invested enough for it to have any impact. There's DLC which focuses on a specific area which has been repurposed as a retirement village and this feels more contained and eventful, but the planet as a whole doesn't have a lot going for it. Despite having lots of creatures it feels quite empty, and I think this was my biggest problem. Fortunately for players living in a world in the midst of a capitalistic death rattle, Journey to the Savage Planet is a bit subversive. You work for Kindred Aerospace, whose media is very keen to tell you that they're the 4th best interstellar exploration company and that you are worth less than literally everything else on wherever it is you've landed. There are adverts on the screen inside your ship for things like mind wipes that purge all bad thoughts, or the Meat Buddy, where you can pour all your leftover meat into a contraption that turns it into a little pet. You also have a voice in your head from the ship's computer giving you snarky reminders and advice, or the head of Kindred popping up on the screens to give you special messages because you've landed on a planet with something valuable on it. The game is short enough that this content just manages to land on the right side of amusing rather than obnoxious. Ultimately it's just about as frothy as the gameplay, but after finishing the game and seeing (I'm pretty sure) all of this stuff, it's never bad. If you've read all of this and decided you want to play Journey to the Savage Planet, the good news is there's also a co-op mode available if you have friends. It's short, it's fun, it's made with a reasonable degree of care and creativity. It's not genre defining, but it's a game I don't see anyone actively disliking.

If Luke Shaw is six foot one then he must weigh about twenty stone.

Did you google "famous people who were nonces"?

I played Horizon Zero Dawn during a Covid lockdown period and after a few days when I went outside and was walking past cars I was looking at their various body panels deciding which bit to target with the bow and arrow I wasn't carrying. See also: Tetris effect - Wikipedia

It appears I can add Thistle to the list of clubs I've been mistaken for a fan of. Also yes. If you're signing him, you're going down.

The Youth is now actually Gen Z or, much more hilariously, zoomers.

Lots to unpack here.

I'll replace Burrows for 30k and any decisions I have to make I'll consult with this thread first.

Andrew Tate: How schools are tackling his influence - BBC News Is this the point where it's confirmed I'm an old man? I can't imagine this sort of thing being popular in school. I can't understand what it'd be like with everyone on their phone all day.

The screenshots were from twitter.

Time for a thread cleanse

I'm glad I'll be dead before 2100 comes, there's no way I'd get used to the year looking like that.

A truly spectacular bottle job from Day. 5-3 up, 5-5, need snookers, gets a snooker and a free ball... and misses the brown into the middle. Donkey. That final frame did include one of the most annoying things I see on a snooker table - a player potting the frame ball, then not potting the next one. It's the final frame and you're 5 points past the winning margin. Pot the next fucking ball and end the frame instead of wasting everyone's time for another ten minutes.

Dairy Milk Look at how earnest and heartfelt the people who eat our chocolate are.

A wee wee cup of tea and a somewhat outdated term for a Chinese takeaway (yelled out for emphasis, no less)

Last year, the Volkswagen Group announced that both its Porsche and Audi brands were planning to enter F1. Audi's entry is well under way at Sauber. But while Porsche's attempts to link up as engine partner with Red Bull eventually collapsed, its interest is not dead, and it is still exploring ways it could enter F1. The other big name in the picture is Ford - GM's biggest rival in America. Senior sources say it is in talks with Red Bull with a view to a partnership similar to Porsche's original plan, and could later expand into its own team entry. With Porsche and Ford in the picture, the Andretti bid is less attractive to some than it might appear at first sight. There is also a project known as Panthera Team Asia, which says it is ready to enter the expressions of interest process, but is likely to be some way down the wanted list. - "Panthera Team Asia" sounds very legitimate.

92k over three donations from the Public and Commercial Services Union.

Hades

Absolutely spectacular pictures from the fives. I don't even know what to say.

After sitting singing this trying to think what I (we) used to sing I've remembered and I don't want to because it's racist. Although it was I need a weewee rather than want, I remember that.

I don't know who this gimp is but I've only seen him posted on here over the past few weeks. Why are these obvious attention seekers given any acknowledgement by people who aren't going to be taken in by him?

https://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php?/topic/258323-top-5-cs-from-bbc-news-programmes/#comments

She appeared to know she was a client journalist for Johnson, Mason's floppiness seems earnest.

Everyone on the BBC qualifies for this thread. Their ability to have utter arseholes doing political coverage is remarkable.