Miguel Sanchez

https://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php?/topic/263362-the-pie-and-bovril-dead-pool-2020/&do=findComment&comment=13802330

Zombie Driver: Immortal Edition (PS4, 2020) You've played top down shooters, you've played games with zombies in them and you've played games with cars in them, why not condense the experience, save time and play Zombie Driver? You have a vehicle, you have a map, you have an assortment of weapons to attach to the vehicle and some missions to complete. Gameplay is pretty much as you might imagine, although even after you've finished everything the game has to offer it still feels a bit unintuitive. You use the left stick to steer, triggers for brake/throttle and shoulder button for firing your weapon. Every instinct says you should be using the right stick to aim, but no. Then as you try to aim you need to try and use finesse with a car that feels like using a computer mouse with the sensitivity up too high. It's a slightly counter-intuitive system that never really feels natural even after you've finished everything the game has to offer. As you might expect in a game where you control a car in a city where zombies roam the streets, you kill a lot of them. Fortunately this is still as easy and satisfying as you'd hope, even with the awkward controls. Weapons range from a machine gun to a railgun and they all do what they need to. You can unlock a range of upgradeable vehicles in the story mode which makes driving through zombies fun too, while still needing a bit of technique to avoid getting bogged down and swamped. There's also enough variety in the types of zombies to make this slightly strategic in certain situations, so it's never so mindless that it becomes boring. Story mode also at least has the sense to include a few missions where you control a tank and a bulldozer, and these are about as fun as you'd imagine. "Story" mode is perhaps a bit generous, even if this is what it's called. As mentioned there's the city you're in and there's... you, who may as well be a Knight Rider-esque sentient machine. You get orders from a military type at the start of each of the thirty missions, you go out and complete them. Some missions are about saving people from a location and returning them to your base, some are just about clearing zombies out from an area. It's fine. I think the plot alludes to some conspiracy about how the zombies got there. I was genuinely forgetting it even as I was playing. The most memorable thing about these missions are the speeches you get from people you save. Along with the military guy giving you orders I think all of these characters were voiced by one person doing as many different exaggerated accents as possible. It's a bit weird but then you go back to killing zombies and you stop caring. Is there a thematic point to be made here, drawing parallels between the zombies and the player? I don't want to care about the gameplay or the graphics or the settings or the consequences or any nuance, I just want to kill. Probably. The game incentivises this of course, as you collect money for killing zombies which you use to upgrade vehicles and weapons. If you chain a lot of kills together in a big combo you get more money. Trying to keep this combo going is arguably harder than controlling the car, the game seems surprisingly sensitive and inconsistent about what constitutes an ending to a streak. There are two other game modes. Blood Race sees you take part in a range of race-type events in a closed circuit. Races are self-explanatory, but there's an Elimination mode where you have to kill as many AI cars as possible while they run the same course as you. There's also an Endurance mode which is effectively a classic arcade time trial where you can extend time by passing checkpoints and killing zombies/destroying the environment. These modes are quite fun and it would be an ideal game for local multiplayer, given how easy it would be to annoy your friends sat next to you while you played. Slaughter mode sees you in a small area of the map facing waves of more and tougher zombies with vehicle upgrades unlocked as you complete waves. It's exactly what you think it is based on what you've read so far. This was originally a mobile game and it's both amazing and easy to see this. It's not a deep or an elaborate game but the graphics still aren't great. Neither is the sound. I can't imagine trying to play this on an older system with less-refined controls (although I do also now have the PS3 version thanks to buying this, so I might try it yet) but on PS4, it just about works. There's not a lot to it and while some elements can be annoying, it's straight-forward and satisfying enough that you never really get bogged down or resent it. One final note - after over thirteen years, there's finally a game on my PSN profile starting with every letter of the alphabet. It was probably worth playing for that alone.

Even more fantastic banter, you're on a roll

I've finally realised who Kinky reminds me of

I think the idea for this thread came to me in a dream last night. 5. Patrick Stewart as Number One in "Homer the Great" The song is now in your head, isn't it? "Next, the paddling of the swollen ass - with paddles." 4. Rodney Dangerfield as Larry Burns in "Burns, Baby Burns" "Yale could use an international airport, Mr. Burns." I'm pretty sure in the DVD commentary for this episode the people on the show called him one of the funniest guest stars they ever had and he's certainly the most effortlessly hilarious. At the end of the episode he says "How 'bout it pop, can you love me for what I am?" - this is an ad-lib, the original line was "who I am?" Much hilarity, helped of course by an always perfect delivery. 3. James Woods as himself in "Homer and Apu" James Woods might be an awful person but the image of him playing a method actor with a job in the Kwik-E-Mart is almost enough to redeem him in my eyes. That and playing Hades in Hercules. Highlight of the episode is him on the phone to someone while cleaning a microwave, lots of bleeping as he struggles to scrape off melted cheese, followed by "no not you, I was talking to my oven." 2. Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio in "You Only Move Twice" I had to include at least one Albert Brooks character. Realistically I could have done five. "I don't expect anything from you except for you to die and be a very cheap funeral" is the kind of line that just stays in my head perpetually. In an alternate universe The Simpsons Movie was Troy McClure trying to stop Hank Scorpio from taking over the world. 1. Dustin Hoffman as Mr. Bergstrom in "Lisa's Substitute" "Dustin Hoffman, Michael Jackson, of course they didn't use their real names but you could tell it was them!" I learned today that the Michael Jackson episode of The Simpsons isn't available to stream. What a world. What a world two where one of the most successful TV shows ever is only in its second year and a reputable actor has a guest appearance and wants to be listed as "Sam Etic" in the credits. This episode was on Channel 4 at the weekend which is probably what put the idea for this thread in my head. It's been a long time since I've watched The Simpsons and I had forgotten how emotional and tender it could be, especially in the early days, and this probably still stands as the best example of that.

Got an e-mail from SSE this morning too, direct debit up £520 a year.

I don't give a f**k mate, I'm a stupid human killing the planet because a kid's TV show never told me not to.

Not that I've seen, but in her statement yesterday she said that we need to remember those people have worked hard to keep us safe and they'll be out of a job and need to be supported in that.

Perhaps they just want to show off how the rug really ties the room together.

Russian Irn-Bru is weird shit

Did you know that plastic is bad? Who knew. I've just been shredding my yoghurt pots and firing them into the ocean. Sometimes I don't even eat the yoghurt, I give the fish and the birds a tasty little treat when I kill them for being a horrible planet killing human.

Three and a half years later, all five of these gimps are still regulars in the morning and I could add another five. All of them could be political reporters. End the License Fee now.

I seem to have been less cynical than most on here while watching that but her piece about the people involved in testing and tracing programs who're going to lose their jobs was pretty fucking rich given the government's contempt for leisure and hospitality over the past year.

It's good to see Slovakia producing exciting young players again, it's been a while since they've had a decent amount of top end talent all throughout the lineup.

As with Art of Rally, I'll be all over it when it's on sale for a fiver.

I no longer have holidays, annual leave or any other term you'd normally use for time off - I have 'planned absences'

Update: After I finished this I could feel it sitting in my stomach. By the time I went to bed I could still feel it in my stomach, and after about half an hour of not sleeping (unrelated) I felt it make its way rapidly towards the exit. Must've been the cheese sauce.

Finally got around to watching last week's. During one of the covid lockdowns I watched all of Louis' documentaries that were on iplayer and I could see a shift in the subjects he was making documentaries about. It was weird seeing him going from interviewing actual Nazis and South African terrorists and going on ridealongs with police in places that were basically warzones to some of the things the internet age brought in. The one where he interviewed a guy who said he'd been falsely accused of rape was the especially surreal moment where he jumped the shark to me. Halfway through he gets a call from someone who says he's being set up and trolled by someone who's at it and then the whole thing falls apart, realising how fleeting the entire thing is. Now what's he doing? Watching a bunch of VLs from the internet pat each other on the back. I can't really take this or the people in it seriously when I know the people and places he's been before this. It's a shame a certain Dunfermline denying poster isn't here anymore, I'm sure he'd have nice things to say about the Baked Alaska gimp. No idea how he's not been shot by now.

It has more "cheese sauce" than cheese so it's a bit... creamy? It's a weird sensation on a pizza, not sure. It's warm but doesn't last too long, base is alright. Would be better with actual cheese.

Aldi. Bit warm this.

Absolutely delighted that a Finnish team of Finnish jobbers finally won gold. Beating Russia in the final is even nicer.