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Classic. Paint his arsehole at point blank range.

Got 30 miles in today, making use of the decent weather. Only the second time out since September, and really enjoyed it, apart fom cycling over the Clackmannanshire Bridge where the strong North Westerly wind made it a bit hairy. Tired at the end despite all the gym work I've been doing. Nothing equates to getting out on your actual bike. Going to make a big effort to get out every Sunday for the next few months.

Any of you more experienced guy able to give me advice? I'm lookingto upgrade my road bike, but I'm by swamped by the choices out there and the variety of prices. I only took the sport up 15 months ago and did pedal for Scotland and another similar charity ride this year. I'm looking to push on a bit (I've entered the Kinross Sportive, and will try the Etape in 2014), but nothing too dramatic (I'm 53 so there's a limit to how much I can improve I think). The bike I inherited is a Carrera from Halfords (costs about £400 new). I hear a lot about carbon being best, but others tell me its not as straightforward as that. Reading a recent edition of Cycling Plus, it seems you can get a "good" bike, certainly one that would be better than what I've got for about £700 or so. Would I find much benefit from spending more? I'm think of getting a Boardman from Halfords - I've heard they are good value, and buying there would be convenient in terms of ongoing maintenance etc. My work doesn't do cycle to work unfortunately. Any thoughts?

Hadn't been out for a month but did 30 miles today with three friends, two of which were fitter than me. We cycled out to Kylsyth via Dullatur and then they took me over the Tak-ma-doon road . Had to stop cycling four times to watch the steeper bits. Cracking route though and a brilliant day.

Bob Dylan Jethro Tull Captain Beefheart Peter Green Talking Heads

Thanks, mate. Sounds like good advice from you both.

Cheers.

Just took up cycling about a year ago. I did two charity rides this year; the pedal for Scotland challenge, then an internal company one which was 55 miles over a relatively flat course (apart from round Loch Catrine). I took 4 hours 5 minutes for the 55 miles, which is about 13.5 mph. I intend to notch things up a level next year. I've entered the Kinross Sportive middle ride in April, which is about 68 miles. Getting the distances seems relatively easy. Just keep doing a regular (once a week e.g). lengthy ride, and increase gradually towards the target distance. What I'd really like to do though is increase my average speed. I'd like to aim for 15mph for Kinross. Reading training tips in mags/on the internet there is a lot of talk about "power" as being a key component to achieving this. My understanding is that this means increasing strength (e.g. squats in the gym) and also speed (through HIIT). I've started doing both these. For the HIIT I do 30 seconds flat out then 1 minute recovery. So far the longst I've managed to keep this going is 20 minutes. Any thoughts from the experienced guys? Any tips welcome.

Cheers. Turbo trainer it is then.

After doing the challenge ride in pedal for Scotland (my first one), I've signed up for the bank's internal one in a couple of weeks. There are three routes - bronze, silver and gold, all leaving from and returning to Callander. I'm going to attempt the silver route which is 54 miles. Should be OK although I'm weary of how hilly it is going to be. 1,100m of ascent in total. The gears on my bike are crap for hills. Need to get those sorted.

What's the difference between that and the rollers I believe you can get? Hoping to train through the winter to push myself on. Also, I assume you can attach any bike to it? I'd be using it mainly for my road bike, but the wife might want to use it for her mountain bike.

Cheers. I'd trained pretty steadily thoughout the summer, edging my mileage up each month so I'd done one of 41 miles and one of 47 in the month before the event. I did try on the day to blast the easier bits and I think that made a difference to my time. I'd cycled the route in bits beforehand, so I knew that from Limerigg is was largely downhill. Thanks. Think I'll get one.

I'll be doing that next year if I decide to do it again. We started queuing at eight and didn't get away until quarter to nine. It was my first time taking part in an organised event, having just acquired a road bike earlier this year. I bloody loved every minute! I was aiming to break four hours given my speed in training, but did 3 hrs 31 mins . I think the good weather and adrenaline of taking part with everyone else pushed me on. In fact if I'd been a bit more agressive on the section before Limerigg I may even have dipped under 3 and a half hours . Got an internal one at my work in three weeks, then I'll enter a couple next year. Now I've got the distance, I'll need to work on my power/speed over the winter. Any training tips? I was thinking about getting a set of those indoor cyclinder things. I think that's my PB for the number of smileys in one post.

Where did they get those valuations from?

What colour is the sky in Cloud Cuckoo Land, David?

Good grief. What does it matter that the statement was the night before the vote rather than the day after? "General intentions?" Get a grip!

They don't need to. They made a clear statement before the vote stating clearly how they would vote. The main reason they made the statement IMO was as a courtesy to their customers - us fans. Yes. That's right. Just to clarify. As I've alluded to before. I go to several Falkirk games a year, when we aren't playing. So I'm not just picking on Falkirk. I'm interested because effectively they are my second club.

How could it say that when it was issued before the vote? I have NO doubt. Because they are weak? Because they want fans thinking they did vote "no", when in fact they didn't? Because they specialise in marketing-speak bullshit, which looks like it says a lot and is clear, but has been carefully worded to actually say nothing? Because they don't want any financial backlash from Falkirk fans or away fans not attending games?

"Alloa can see no reason to vote in any way other than to put the new Rangers in ........................division three."

Yet there were no actual "promises" involved. Always.

I know this is difficult for you because of your clearly limited intellect, but: 1) What promise did your board keep?, and 2) What promise did Alloa's board not keep? There aren't any "hints" ( ) on how you voted. BTW, "hints" is plural, so it's "There are"... It one of the great things about a free society that illiteracy doesn't prevent you taking part in a public forum.

Er...exactly.

You're not the sharpest tool in the box, are you? BTW it's "you're" not "your".

Alloa. This is how you do it when you care about your fans. Proud!

What a disgraceful, lily-livered, patronising statement. I'm glad my club didn't treat its fans, who are the life blood of any club, so shabbily. I often go to Falkirk games when Alloa don't have one. Not sure I'll be back now though.