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LiamDFC

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Posts posted by LiamDFC

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by LiamDFC

    11 minutes ago, Fifespud said:

    You've got me telt Louis and I'll take that on the chin. He's probably picking up Michael Essien on route emoji106.png

     

    Essien has been here for the last two days helping the groundsmen get the grass up to scratch. It's looking really good. I heard McCann wants the width increased by a few feet so that our new wingers have space to play and apparently Essien has been there to baptise the new turf before the first team set foot on it — pre-match ritual that Chris Kamara and McCann talked about when reporting Sunderland vs Aston Villa a few seasons ago.

    Thank you.

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    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by LiamDFC

    1 hour ago, Yenitit said:

    Why the f**k does a Zombie Diamond keep appearing on the big team's thread, is it because we're box office?

    Didn't he play for Aberdeen?

    ETA: Can all the Dundee posters that still have Paul Hartley as their avatar please change it to something more acceptable, please. His face really fucking annoys me now.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by LiamDFC

    1 hour ago, johnnydun said:

    Can I just say, I just burst out laughing at this! Funniest thing I have seen in a while, played Liam!

    Thank you!

    Thank you.

    49 minutes ago, K.T said:

    I've been trying to tidy up the house and I keep getting that image in my head and laughing to myself. It's that kind of ridiculous shit that made me sign up to P+B in the first place. Who needs football. Dundee fans are class.

     

    Same, Twisty.

    I'm sure most of you will agree that the good old days (pre Premiership forum) were great; it's become a much more conservative site over the years, riddled with fucking adverts, but the Dundee threads remain a golden source of fun, left-field, unusual bollocks.

    It's like reading a Dundee-specific Viz special edition.

    You only have to look at the St Johnstone, Kilmarnock or Motherwell topics to see just how fucking dull things could be. Hibs are a little more entertaining, while Dunfermline and Falkirk always had some fun chat in the 1st Division area. 

    Thank you.

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    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted

    53 minutes ago, johnnydun said:

    Why the f**k is Hateley still here?

    The only acceptable answer to this is that there will be a public execution on the first day of the season. When the first whistle goes, the gallows open, he falls through the floor and the game starts. 

    Similarly, full time will be signalled with Danny Williams being released from his mortal engagement.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by LiamDFC

    Okay, if no-one else will say it, I will.

    Marcus Haber wears gloves. For that reason, I'd happily let him go if McCann had someone even slightly better than him, provided this hypothetical replacement wasn't also a serial glove-wearer.

    The second we allow behaviour like that, you're opening the door for all sorts IMO. What next; will Kevin Holt turn up for games wearing flashing boots? Maybe Paul McGowan should come covered head to toe in neon paint, a floral wreath around his neck and several glow-sticks ready for the Post-Match Perty at Deja Vu?

    He's a bad fucking influence.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted

    8 hours ago, RawB93 said:

    So instead of a 4pm press conference I'm sitting looking at a photo of a topless man online wondering if I could batter him

    I also think you'd have him, RawB93. Kick his fucking c**t in, ruffle his hair then sponsor him for the season ahead. That's the Dundee way,

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by LiamDFC

    51 minutes ago, SweeperDee said:

    Thinking the press conference will be announcing we've signed that Aldred boy as well as Berbatov.

    Don't jinx it, Sweeper. The last signing you called was Paul fucking Dixon.

     

    40 minutes ago, Andershen said:

    I love our fans.
    IMG_3712.thumb.PNG.1af085df363ab730c0b074089959d9bf.PNG

    Just saw this too. I'm putting my money on the Red Hand of Dyer; I don't know who or what he is, but he seems angry, and that's an invaluable trait in a streetfight. Kevin is bold, though — I'll give him that.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted

    Hold on a minute, we've all missed a trick here.

    While we're all focused on Neil McCann's efforts to reinforce the first team squad, we've neglected to celebrate (what I assume is) the return of Derry Dode. We're already the most vibrant, insightful and suave set of posters on P&B, but this signing should have us for an Internet Champions League place.

    On 2017-6-20 at 14:01, derrydode25 said:

    So that has been Grigg, berbatov, hemmings that have now been linked I bet none of them come anywhere near dens, and as for this so called marquee signing that's got to be some kind of wynd up

    All we need now is Iron Chicken, dundeebarry and MattyDFC then we'll be back to full strength.

    Get them fucking telt, Dode.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted · Edited by LiamDFC

    I've heard a spicy hot rumour that Michael Essien (34), who currently plays for some pub team in Indonesia, has been offered a two year player-coach contract by Nelms. Apparently he has some coaching link with McCann and when he was at Sky reporting on an Arsenal-Chelsea game a few years ago, they both took turns stuffing cucumber slices into Charlie Nicholas's jacket pockets.

    You heard it here first. 

    ETA: Would he even get a game in our team? I'd say both Adam and Griggs would be better options, with Berbatov and el Bakhtaoui up top.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted

    2 hours ago, The DA said:

    That's Dundee fans all over.  They'd rather see their local rivals regress so that the same old shite from Dens looks a wee bit better by comparison.  True football fans, e.g. those from United or St Johnstone, want to see their teams improve their game to overtake the Fun.

    Dundee fans just want to see the world burn.

    Oh wow. That's unfortunate; that stinger from NDD has landed a big ane, aye. I'm on my phone, but aren't you a Dunfermline fan or something? Didn't realise you were part of the Fluorencent Orange Order across the road. 

    Ps. My fav bit was 'Derry sword in their rodent b*****d carcuses'. A true wordsmith.

    Thank you.

    0

    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted

    1 hour ago, SweeperDee said:

    We've signed Paul Dixon. 

    For f**k sake.

    Sorry SweeperDee, but this has really ruined my fucking day. I don't even care if this is true, I've just taken all my clothes off, ran down the street windmilling, screaming 'JUUUUUDAAASSSSSS BAASSSSTAARRRRRRRD'. As Biggie and Dee Man have said; you've earned that Red Dot. I absolutely hate that c**t and will never accept him at Dundee; there's a special Lorraine Kelly-scented, tangerine-clad rocking-chair waiting for him in hell. This chair is positioned right between Scott Robertsons Pale and Charlie Millers Lazy-Boy.

    I would say thank you, but I am not thankful. Not even slightly.

    This is serious.

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    All things Dundee FC

    in Scottish Premiership General Chatter

    Posted

    One thing that always amazes me about Scottish football is the lack of links with other (foreign) clubs. Were we not meant to have some kind of link with AC Milan, Ajax and an English team (can't remember who)? Surely we must have contacts across the leagues and they'd be willing to put players on loan? I suppose we tried that with Ricardo Calder, but there's got to be more out there. I hope McCann can bring in some good loan signings this season, as the bank account appears to be em— HURRY UP AND SACK TOM HATELEY.

    Sorry, I don't know where that came from, but I'm going to leave it there. Feels wrong deleting it.

    Thank you.

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