BFTD

Doesn't really matter, does it? Would be interested to know your favourite found-footage movies too.

I despair sometimes, I really do. Genuinely interested to know what your favourite found-footage movies are, though.

The utterly orgasmic droolfest that took place on Sportsound today. Some of these c***s would be delighted if there were only two clubs in Scotland. Or whatever country they were allowed to move to.

Ask Harold Shipman. Not that I want to encourage that kind of behaviour, likes. Not without passing on a 10% fee for the inspiration, at any rate.

^^^ this. I've had this before. Didnae fancy the sound of that at all, so I called the bank and, surprise, it was some scammer phishing for details. Might want to get yer maw to change her maiden name, just to be safe.

Just finished my SPL 2010 sticker album Can I join club DECE now? (still don't know what the f**k that's all about)

Away tae bed. Heid's killing me and I'm knackered. Enjoy the party while ye can; I fully intend to return tomorrow.

Must be something else for dinner in the house, surely? Get a boilin' some eggs, at least.

Bring back The Krypton Factor. And make Zander and Richard do the assault course

*heads for the fallout shelter*

How's yer Twist, Boney Maroney?

Whose screaming, blue-faced souls are trapped within the trophy? That'll be another thing ruined by sorcery, then

I just liked the tune. I'm a man of simple tastes, me.

Ought to be compulsory viewing for brainless wee airheads who decide they want a child so they can have a real-life dolly. Or folk who aren't 100% on whether they want to be a parent, but are being pressured into it anyway.

Still don't understand the Lost in Translation love. I'm inclined to believe that the viewers are mesmerised by yon Black Widow's arse at the beginning, before seeing their own midlife crises mirrored in the rest. Certainly not bad, but I'm still a bit mystified. It did introduce me to Peaches, however, so there's that.

Bad man. I'll drop you a line when we go into production Edit: the reverse would have to say "f**k the Queen", in the interests of balance.

Pretty sure I've seen boots that looked like that. Maybe this is the start of a new trend; cars that look like ugly footwear. Nike customers would love it, I'm sure.

Danger, Will Robinson.

Why wouldn't you, though? It helps the environment, and the bags I've been using for about a decade don't turn into finger garrottes as soon as I leave the store. Simples. Seriously considering setting up a bag-for-life business with anti-supermarket slogans though. Might be idly entertaining to see Tesco's old "use whatever you like!" Green adverts bite them in the arse

Thinking about it, this is probably still better than what I did: turn into a pile of jelly and greet like a bairn

I don't think I've ever seen a woman look so impressed. Is the kid being called Candy or something?

Alright, that's keich; back on board with the supermarket hate. I swear I remember hearing that this extra money was supposed to be going towards combating the environmental effects of discarded carrier bags. Splendid corruption dropping of the ball by the bizzies.

Melodrama Take some bags with you, FFS. I'm sure you can buy some online with slogans like, "f**k TESCO/ASDA/MORRISONS/THE POPE". Did I dream this, or is this 5p charge going to the Government, rather than lining the pockets of our consumerist masters? Perfectly happy with it, if that's the case.

You'll be a real master if you can persuade them to get the drains cleaned

Saw a building on fire today; called the fire brigade and started battering on the door to see if anyone was inside. Would have kicked the door in, but I just saw Backdraft a few weeks ago. After a minute I realised that the noises from inside were just from everything cracking up in the blaze, so I turned to get back to a safe distance, only to find the residents of the property watching me from a few yards away like I was a complete tube