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BFTD

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Everything posted by BFTD

  1. BFTD
    I swear you posted the exact same thing a few days ago Either that, or someone else did, which would be wonderfully ironic
  2. BFTD
    You never give me the chance, Sharon! Anyway, off your knees, hunni. The boss has finished up for the day.
  3. BFTD
    Even worse; people who print multiple documents, then go to the printer and pick up the whole stack and take it back to their desk, before throwing anything that isn't theirs in the bin. Usually the boss' pet, naturally.
  4. BFTD
    I'm saving that excuse for the next time I block the toilet
  5. BFTD
    Really? Ours must be broken - it saves water by doing hee-haw. Also, that delicious cake; I've never been so confused
  6. BFTD
    That wee button on the flush on push-button toilets. You know, the one that you accidentally hit that stops the toilet from flushing properly. WTF is that all about?
  7. BFTD
    Vinyl was much better for the hidden track stuff. See the double grooves on Monty Python's Matching Tie & Handkerchief, or Mr Bungle's Disco Volante. (both cracking albums BTW) Edit: as I recall, early CD players were only built to read somewhere in the region of 30 tracks. When Napalm Death released their first two albums on one CD, it had 54 tracks and would apparently break certain models of player
  8. BFTD
    Racist!
  9. BFTD
    Poor behaviour from yer man, there. Everyone knows the correct way to thank a lady in this situation is to film yourself enjoying the pictures, then send it to the girl in question. Anything less just seems creepy IMO.
  10. BFTD
    My God. Genius! eBay's full of this sort of thing:
  11. BFTD
    Surprised they don't hose them down after the journey's finished. Also, sounds like the buses could use a clean.
  12. BFTD
    Reads like they work; you must be inspired by the fact that she's an ex and not a current.
  13. BFTD
    ^^^ ageist
  14. BFTD
    Shocking cutbacks in the Royal household these days. Get in touch with the Daily Mail; they'll slip you a few bob for an exclusive.
  15. BFTD
    Your nan's will, mainly. A well-presented CV helps. "Hobbies: reading, sports, humiliating secret blowjobs, and going to the movies."
  16. BFTD
    Not while you're in the house.
  17. BFTD
    I was about to say that.
  18. BFTD
    To yourself, not other people. If you get tattoos because you want to elicit a certain response in others, you're a complete moron, as you've no way of controlling how others will interpret what's drawn on you. I doubt Mr f**k YOU Forehead realised that he'd become a comedy meme on the Internet, for example. Hopefully he's not too fussed, or he's in big trouble
  19. BFTD
    I doubt you'll ever get employers to stop wanting employees who're desperate to keep their jobs. (not an employer, nor someone who cares about tattoos BTW)
  20. BFTD
    No, she really does have her tongue stuck out!
  21. BFTD
    I just gave our younger cat a wee bit of hot sausage, and now she's running around with her tongue stuck out
  22. BFTD
    Surely the decent thing would've been to let you keep one of them when you split up? Ask if she needs a regular babysitter. What's the worst that could happen? Presumably she knows you well enough not to think you're up to anything dodgy.
  23. BFTD
    Maybe he just really liked Man City and would've had mixed emotions whether he'd played for them or not. Like when you see a fondly-remembered ex-girlfriend at an orgy and pretend not to enjoy yourself with the other lassies too much out of respect. We've all been there.
  24. BFTD
    I dunno; they've all made a run at promotion in recent times, with the exception of Montrose. That's why I picked them for my last Football Manager game - because I'm a huge masochist
  25. BFTD
    Feel for you, mate. I'm just glad I'm a man of simple tastes. Our 3D holographic wall installation still looks fine to me.
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