BFTD

"DA Baracus' huge sausage is very suspicious" ..."and it smells like fish, you say?"

The snap back to 7am wake-up time has clearly been too much for the wean. He snuggled up next to BigFatTabbyWife "for a few minutes" and has been zonked for the past four hours

Aye, that's something of an improvement. Albeit like a sprig of parsley on an overcooked turd.

Does anyone actually enjoy eating these rancid concoctions?

I'm sensing another poll here... Be a nice change from all the 'biggest roaster' ones.

With respect to the above, Phoenix might be P&B's master of the one-liner. He's caught me quite hard on a few occasions. All do good sterling work, however. I'm sensing the opportunity for all sorts of Weekend at Bernie's style fun here. Please, make sure to send us the pics before the cops catch up with you.

Who needs a dominatrix, eh?

Ah well, fair dos. The lassie I knew, it was just about money. She spent one evening a week changing adult diapers on a mentally disabled laddie in exchange for £500. Sounded more like care work, but apparently that on its own got him off, and he didn't actually need to wear the nappies. Bit awkward taking payment from his mother afterwards, though.

Out of greens, but that's quality work

Ooh, the best kind!

Will this be the first mention of P&B in a court case, I wonder?

Shoudl've kept her as a friend; they have some cracking stories. Remember, they won't do anything to your foreskin unless you pay them.

I've only ever had two wet dreams; thought I was weird, as you always hear about that being a common thing with adolescents. I assume it's because I was a furious w****r at that age, and now I'm a dried-up old prune. (and a different kind of furious w****r) edit: also, pics or GTF, as ever.

More a matter of, "I fancied a bit of that sweet newspaper cash, so I made up a story", surely. He could replace the soporific Miranda on the telly - could not possibly be any worse to watch.

Clicked, then realised it's a ploy to establish a BEAST list for the big New Year cull. Well played, Agent Zen.

The wean's school starting back on Friday, the 2nd of January. Just in time for the weekend. I'm guessing his class will have an attendance of 6, max.

We have a new dish rack, and the cutlery container has open sides. OPEN. FUCKING. SIDES. Perfect for folk who like to keep their clean knives and forks on the floor.

Similarly, swimming shorts that collect water, so that they end up at your ankles when you emerge from the pool. Also, middle-aged lassies who pretend they didn't want a look at BigFatTabbyArse

“We just want somewhere where we can talk about beards and other people’s beards.” Just...why?

Unless the Star Wars universe takes place on the sub-atomic level? Will make for a cracking zoom-out reveal at the end of Episode 9.

On the one hand, On the other, it's not like it produces penis-shaped Play-Doh. The weans using it aren't going to have a fucking clue, and if anything's "ruined Christmas" it'll have been the crazy moo running around confiscating presents because they remind her of her own toys. Sakes.

Banned P&B poster IMO. Clearly she's seen the cash dredged in by American hateresses like Ann Coulter and fancied a slice of the pie herself. Whether she's serious or not is beside the point; there are enough people who like what they say for them to earn a living, which is far more worrying.

From which end? Why am I asking this?

I'm guessing you'll get the thing she rarely does, but not the thing she never does. Best of luck though, we'll have our fingers crossed for you!

Black Tiger - classic platformer from the days of yore. Still holds up pretty well. Pit-Fighter - still a good laugh on MAME. Never been big on fighting games, but this one's satisfying in an '80s bad movie way. Football Manager 2013 - haven't bought the more recent ones because I realised that I ended up not playing most of them. Usually takes a couple of years to get bored of my pet saved game. Fallout: New Vegas - it's taken years, but I think I've finally explored the shit out of Fallout 3. Time to try this modern whippersnapper out