Funky Nosejob

I’ve got an induction hob, so not sure a proper paella pan would help or, indeed, work. Tasted fine, though.

Chicken & Chorizo (I know!) Paella. The logical next step for the household master of the risotto.

I had one of these mince pies yesterday and it was delicious. They’d replaced the pastry with chocolate, the mincemeat with nougat and the foil tray with a wrapper. (Comment largely inspired by Alun Cochrane)

Both my parents and my sister suffer from early onset hearing loss, so Mrs. Nosejob voiced her concerns about my lack of response when either she or one of the children would walk into the room and ask me a question when I was watching the TV. An appointment with the Audiology Department at the local hospital was arranged and I patiently sat for 20 minutes pressing the beeper every time I heard a tone through the headphones. The verdict? - My hearing is better than average for a man my age. Mrs. Nosejob was having none of it and vehemently expressed her opinion that the test must be flawed. My ability to “white noise” my wife’s and kids’ voices is obviously well honed.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/26/after-flynn-pardon-could-trump-do-the-same-for-himself?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other So “hamper”, but not prohibit.

I can help with this one. They’re not looking for your opinion, they just want you to validate their opinion. If they’re doing the work then, unless their proposal is ridiculous, just agree with them.

It’s an old joke, I know, but... What do you get the man who has everything? Penicillin!

You’ll need insurance whether you park it on a road, on a driveway or in a garage. Unless you have SORN. https://www.sagarinsurances.co.uk/news-and-updates/blog/do-i-need-car-insurance-if-i-m-not-driving-my-car/

But we don’t eat them very much. That’s why most of the fish landed in the UK goes abroad. Not because of the EU “stealing” our fish, but because we won’t buy the fish we land because we prefer cod, haddock, tuna and salmon. That’s not going to change after Brexit.

I’m looking forward to all the fish landed in the UK staying in the UK. There’s nothing I enjoy more than my lunchtime mackerel melt panini and weekly herring supper. Or, maybe, there’s a reason most fish landed in the UK currently gets sent abroad.

I would use ADult when describing a grown up person, but adULT when describing “niche” book shops, films, websites, etc.

How many laps until Lewis complains that the safety car is going too slow?

There’s a car I’ve seen a few times in the Craiglockhart area of Edinburgh with the plate L4 BYA I’ve often wondered if it’s owned by a gynaecologist.

Totally agree. The photos on my phone comprise pictures of my electricity and gas meter readings, my car tyre sizes and recommended pressures and the odd screen shot of my bank balance. I suspect that most smart phones are roughly on a par for performance and battery life, with the higher cost ones only being distinguishable by their camera performance, so that’s why reviewers focus so much on that.

David is a very odd name for a woman.

Maybe his “Dad died” in 2018 and he got a face tattoo to remember him, alongside the one for his favourite game, Hungry Hippos.

Last night, whilst watching Bake Off Final... Her: “Don’t pause it. I’m just going to pop to the loo.” Me: “If you go into the hall and past the stairs, it’s the first door on the left. You can’t miss it, there’s a sign on the door.” Apparently, I’m an arsehole.

And to complete the trilogy, where do you find a deer with no eyes and no legs?

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Andi Oliver I think it might be the teeth, or the loudness, or the glasses on a chain, or the general over flamboyance that brings back jarring memories of my posh friend’s perma-drunk mother.

We have lived in our house for 17 years and the bathroom is where it has always been. Our teenage children have grown up in our house. Our house is not a B&B. This appeared yesterday on the bathroom door ...

Sending “Thanks” emails exacerbating climate change. Makes you wonder how many trees are getting burned to provide all those green and red dots.

Serves you right for going down the stairs whilst holding a staple gun to your head.

Black Books Soap Red Dwarf Father Ted Bakersfield P.D.

Back in the early 90s, Saturday mornings meant Kabaddi on Channel 4. Here’s some more recent footage of Scotland getting a gubbing off Pakistan.