Cosmic Joe

Lidl brandy - purchased for fortifying the Christmas cake baked last week. An unlikely Fife win/ Raith defeat double in the Scottish saw an emptying of the drinks cupboard on return from Cumbernauld last night...

Think the consensus is Celtic away for a big earner in the draw. I'd rather save them for a later round so I'm looking for Rangers coming out of the hat v us tomorrow...

Baseball cap wearers come across as desperately trying to shout out that the USA is in some way cool. You can occasionally get with it...

In Lochee, probably Stacks's Cock...

Be interesting to know what the correct response is in this scenario. I'd have probably reacted the same way, but what are the rules? If it had been a human being - emergency stop. A horse - same (to protect your vehicle in addition to prevent injuring the animal) A dog? Pretty sure you are required by law to stop. You could argue that the driver behind should be at a sufficient distance to react safely to the vehicle in front carrying out an emergency stop...

Yes, but the problem is we are not all perfect drivers. Even disregarding the frankly careless and dangerous road users, we all make mistakes. A judgement of error (eg pulling out to overtake with a car doing 80 mph instead of 70 mph in the outside lane) will have catastrophic consequences. I'd rather we all calmed down a little and were a bit more considerate to each other. What is the big rush to get from A to B anyway? Better to err on the side of caution and acknowledge it's safer to keep the speed limit as it is...

Said Paul McCartney after the loss of Linda

So basically we should increase the speed limit to allow all the aforementioned c***s in this thread to drive even more dangerously...

I'm going to be controversial and add driving at over 70 mph to the list. Everything is fine and jolly until the unlikely event of having to make an emergency stop. It's not so much the braking distance involved as the likelihood of losing control of your vehicle. I had to apply the brakes suddenly once doing 70 mph and, looking back I'm happy that I got that lesson. Shudder to think about a similar situation at 80 mph upwards. It's something you are not taught when learning to drive...

Win and it'll be the best feeling in the world. Lose and you'll feel like jumping off the Bawbee Brig. That's local derbies for you. Your choice...

I'm also intrigued by the word guard. What are they supposed to be guarding?

I'm intrigued by your use of the word vestibule. I thought vestibules were what folk from Broughty Ferry called their lobby...

No idea what they do to their motor, but the bellends that drive around sounding like their exhaust is totally fucked when they accelerate. Perhaps about one in fifty has got a totally fucked exhaust right enough...

I think you are missing the point. Abuse is not about the intent of the behaviour. It is about the impact of the behaviour...

Right, here we go. I got smacked as a kid from my parents. The preferred form was a shoe or slipper over the bare arse. More degrading than painful, although it was fucking sore as well. Corporal punishment was administered at school from the age of eight for losing my place at reading. I genuinely don't hold any grudges against my parents - they didn't know any better, it was the done thing at the time ("spare the rod, spoil the child* - what an utterly ridiculous saying). We have two children, both now in their twenties. The oldest got a skelp round the backside (we didn't know any better either) when she behaved badly - never the humiliating bare bum with an object. We soon realised that this only happened when we had lost control of the situation and decided to ditch the smacking. The younger kid didn't get smacked. He has grown up the more couthy of the two - both great kids but one with a nippy temper and one without. The bottom (sorry) line is, you don't need to inflict physical pain and degrading treatment on your kids to bring them up well...

Aye, these wee neds are the products of the non-smacking generation...

What pisses me off is when they make statements like "the first in the UK" rather than one of the last in Europe when it comes to outlawing physical abuse of children...

1. See my team in a major final 2. Scottish independence 3. Meet my Grandfather 4. Attend a Stevie Wonder concert 5. Drive from Lochee to Cliftonhill with less than three wrong turnings

Not really. My Grandfather's family were from Bailieborough in County Cavan, and Lochee Harp play around 600 yards from my front door...

East Fife Everton Napszot Jedrzejow Bailieboro Celtic Lochee Harp

Not the greatest of games. 172 looked on as Cowden scored the only goal of the game some seven minutes before the break. Not certain about the composition of the visitors' line-up but East Fife gave several fringe players a start. Not too much between the sides in terms of possession. Cowden probably kept their shape better and certainly defended well when under pressure. East Fife had plenty of decent deliveries into the box, unfortunately without an end product. Good to see Kevin Smith getting an hour or so on the park after a lengthy lay off through injury...

There is a classic episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm based around something similar...

On holiday in Turkey. Having a great time but everyone f****ng smokes. The locals, the Russians, the Germans, the English. You can't sit outside in a bar without the entire table next to you sparking up....

Thank f**k no, put together some furniture for them, when they offered to pay me i refused, but they replied back insisting they pay me. I honestly don't get that, why insist on doing it if you are just gonna fob the person off anyway? All that does is guarantee i wont do anymore favors for you.