Toby

That seems very strange given that Inverness’s profile depends mostly on their success in the Scottish Cup, even pre-dating the club’s formation in 1994. Perhaps they’re just at it?

Scott Gardiner didn’t reply to my text, so I thought I’d try you lot.

Not satisfactorily, no. That’s why I’m asking again.

That wasn’t what I was asking, though. From my vantage point, with 100-150 Morton fans around me, I’d have said there were around 7-800 folk in the ground in total, not the published 1852.

Good crowd of 1852 at the game yesterday. Where were the other 1200 hiding?

I can’t stand him. Comes across as ill informed and condescending, whilst promoting moneyed clubs such as Darvel and Kelty as some form of miracle workers, and increasingly sucking the Rangers boaby. I was delighted that the only time he visited Cappielow was one of the rare days I was in hospitality rather than the Cowshed. I should really steer clear of his channel, but like Open Goal, I’m drawn to it because I hate it so much.

Ooft, yellow card for that one.

Yes, we are.

What the f*ck are you talking about? Since he came in; Brandon, Wilson, Schwake, O’Connor, Grimshaw, Baird, Gillespie, Crawford and Quitongo can all be described as successes, with Ambrose’s form only suffering in recent weeks. Roy, Miller and Oakley are just in the door, and the jury’s well and truly out on Pignatiello but beyond that, the only failure has been Kabia. Another appalling take, hot on the heels of your conspiracy theories about the Celtic game on the Morton forum last night.

Yeah, I was aware of most of that, having asked around a couple of Accies fans I know during the week. I’d heard there were to be attempted clear-the-air talks today, but assuming there’s no headway being made, there. All sounds very much like Hugh Scott at Morton 20-odd years ago, and even the way Hiddlestone ran Third Lanark’s support into the ground to minimise any resistance to killing them off. To be honest I really grudged my £20 in today after what I’d heard this week, and certainly didn’t buy anything when inside the ground. In spite of today, I doubt you’ll manage to stay up, but hopefully you manage to oust these chancers. My worry is that boycotts could be seen as a way of McGowan and co. justifying locking the gates due to a perceived lack of interest when crowds dip further.

I take it you don’t want to elaborate on what was said for fear of being sued by Gerry Strain and his pals?

You’ve got to hand it to Molotov, he’s done a really good job of proving to us all how little he cares about Morton over the last few days by posting how little he cares about Morton and trying to get a bite from the Morton fans. I really hope nobody mistakes him for an attention-seeking oddball.

Good.

Since 2000, Morton’s managers have been as follows: Ian McCall- hands tied by the board Allan Evans- hands tied by the board Ally Maxwell- hands tied by the board, but claimed he was owed money he wasn’t entitled to further down the line, and refused to play to take a young, error-prone goalkeeper out of the firing line before making a substitute appearance as an outfield player. Fraud. Peter Cormack- arrived as we were coming out of administration so didn’t stand a chance. Dave McPherson- useless. Fraud. John McCormack- took us out of the Third Divison at the first attempt but you can’t overlook the 2003-04 collapse. Fraud. Jim McInally- three attempts to get us out of the Second Division before being really found out in our first season up and getting bagged. Fraud. Davie Irons- saved us in our first season, had a decent season after that and was shat on by his successor, manoeuvring his way into his job. James Grady- little rat. Fraud. Allan Moore- spent a lot of money, failed to take us up and then died on his arse when the budgets were cut. Not having him as a fraud though. Kenny Shiels- the most humiliating relegation in our history and 10-2. Fraud of the highest order. Jim Duffy- great guy. Stabilised the club and took us back up immediately. Won’t hear a bad word about him. Raymond McKinnon- it worked out well in the end, because he took Falkirk down, but definite fraud. Jonaton Johansson- eye bleeding football and a Z-list celebrity wife who had too much to say on Twitter when he came under criticism. Kept us up but threw a tantrum and resigned. Fraud. David Hopkin- arsehole of a guy, who saw himself as bigger than the club. Everyone had such big hopes for him because he was a Morton fan, but we were well rid. Fraud. Anton McElhone- not even a qualified manager but steadied the ship at a point we were in turmoil, when he didn’t even want the job. Good guy. Gus MacPherson- kept us up, but the football was appalling and relegation was inevitable last season before he was canned. Fraud. Dougie Imrie- has done a fantastic job. I make that ten frauds this century from eighteen (Maxwell, McPherson, McCormack, McInally, Grady, Shiels, McKinnon, Johansson, Hopkin and MacPherson). Three who didn’t stand a chance (McCall, Evans and Cormack), two who came up a bit short (Irons and Moore). One good guy (McElhone) and two successes (Duffy and Imrie so far). A 55.56% hit rate for fraud managers this century’s quite some going.

Thought this after the last time the two teams met, but when did Morton v Ayr match threads become so civilised? There used to be all sorts of mud slinging on these, but we’ve been far too nice to each other in recent times.

Alex Williams for Morton. We signed him for £50k from Stirling when we’d just been relegated to the Third Division, and by that point he’d already had a brush with the law involving a golf club and someone’s napper iirc. Scored a shit-ton of goals to help us to the title, won the division’s player of the year and was top goal scorer. Scored a couple of goals in a cup win at then First Division Ross County and took his form into the following season as Morton took the Second Division by storm. That was of course the season of our most infamous collapse (there’s been a few) and the alleged betting scandal, to which Williams’ name was prominently linked. He eventually left the following season and did reasonable jobs at Clyde and Ayr, significantly being part of Clyde’s team that beat Celtic and scoring in an Ayrshire derby in the cup, but he was never the player he was in that first season at Morton. I remember someone saying he’d either play for Scotland or end up in the jail. He ended up doing time at some point further down the line. Never seen a better natural finisher in all my time watching Morton though, and even after years of playing at a higher level, he’s still thought of fondly by a certain generation of Morton fans.

It’s almost as if I didn’t use the perfectly reasonable barometer of the last 16 years as a decent illustration as to what Morton’s natural level in Scottish football is. I’m well aware dynamics changed- we’ve already seen financially-doped clubs like Inverness and Ross County overtake us in the food chain, although hopefully Inverness’s current trajectory is a downward one. The best guide in the short term as to how far Arbroath have progressed for me will be next season’s season ticket sales. How many will be willing to fork out when the football’s not as great? Saturday’s crowd didn’t look anything like the published 1664 to me, but many clubs announce tickets sold rather than folk in the ground. I’d suggest there were about 1200 in the ground, especially if the announced 219 away fans is accurate. I’m going to back track on what I said earlier- it really is about us. I take issue with your assertion last night that Morton were “there for the taking”. We managed a tricky game well enough to get a draw out of it having not played particularly well. You simply didn’t have the tools to beat us, such is the progress we’ve made since the abomination at Cappielow. Rather than the Morton fans needing to get over ourselves, I’d suggest the problem lies with yourself refusing to accept that last season was the pinnacle, it’s downhill from here and the more established Championship clubs have upped their game as you’ve regressed. It was always going to happen, and the sooner you accept that and get over it, the more you’ll enjoy your football.

We already addressed that point. It’s about your failure to accept that the cycle is coming to an end and that you’ll be returning to a more natural level in the not too distant future. If I remember you (or your club), I’ll pop down in three years time to remind you of this wee chat.

Morton have been in this division for 15 out of the last 16 years, it’s our natural level- Arbroath have had a purple patch, and like Cowdenbeath, Dumbarton, Alloa, Brechin and Falkirk before them, will eventually fall to a level more befitting of their club’s stature. What this is about is your misplaced perception of where Arbroath stand in comparison to the rest of the division. You’re not anything special, and last season was the culmination of a few years of punching above your weight. Of course it’s more pertinent to me when I see you arrogantly dismissing Morton, but I’m not surprised by your position in the table given the squad you’ve got- you were overly reliant on loan players last term and haven’t been able to bring in players of similar quality, whilst Allan strikes me as an expensive gamble which could’ve gone one way or the other but really isn’t paying off. You’re hammering a manager (a manager that I’m not a fan of either, incidentally) who has given you more than you should’ve ever expected, and now we’re seeing the fallout of him failing to maintain the previously high standards he set. I’ll watch with interest for further tantrums as the season progresses. Should be a hoot.

I suspect that managing expectations is a massive issue after last season. You reached a pinnacle that is unlikely to be matched again for at least a generation and don’t appear to be taking it too well, and the loan market isn’t as fruitful for Campbell as it was previously- perhaps that’s something to do with Dougie’s close relationship with Martindale putting us in the front of that particular queue. Far better teams than Arbroath have failed to break down that Morton team in recent times- I’m sure both Dundee and Ayr in the last few weeks, who were forced to accept a point at home were disappointed, but we’re generally very good at making sure we don’t lose a game if we’re not going to win it. Had Campbell got yesterday’s team selection spot on, I doubt you’d have got any more than a point. It’s probably a time for a bit of perspective as to where your club are. Last season was an anomaly. You’re not at the top end of the division and shouldn’t be expecting to roll over long established Championship clubs who are going well themselves as a matter of course anymore. Arbroath are probably still above their natural level in Scottish football’s food chain and throwing the toys out the pram because you failed to beat Morton at home strikes me as the behaviour of someone that’s been a wee bit spoiled in recent times.

You got a credible draw from a team that was second in the table before yesterday and unbeaten in ten. Quite why you think a victory against a team that was going through a sticky period a few months ago and has kicked on since means you should be expecting to wipe the floor with us is a mystery to me. I can’t see how yesterday’s result can be seen as anything other than a positive for Arbroath, given the seasons the two teams are enjoying.

*No defeats.

He was getting it tight from the Morton fans before he sold that goal at Cappielow in August, though.

I don’t doubt that. We’ve got Robbie Muirhead in particular who enjoys the same and football’s richer for it, so whatever floats his boat. Doesn't mean he won’t get reminded of it when things go tits up for him though, as was the case yesterday.

I was talking to my mates about that at the game yesterday and we were none the wiser for having discussed it. I suppose what he’s best known for is the Celtic racism incident, which certainly should go in his favour, calling out a club that sees itself as, for want of a better phrase, “whiter than white”. It’s probably more a case of being the most recognisable face and biggest WUM in a team with which our support is unfamiliar. The guy draws attention to himself with silly wee things such as how he wears his shorts and all of a sudden guys who shouldn’t be concerned in the slightest are frothing at the mouth, and he’s quick to engage when they do. Good on him for it, his winding up of fans can be quite entertaining and never spilled over to any of the abuse he has suffered in the past, but I’d say he enjoys the role of pantomime villain and WUM. He’s no Ray McKinnon, Jim Dick, Dean Matthew Keenan or Brian Graham in the eyes of most of us I wouldn’t say though.