I've had a great 10 weeks or so in terms of my own metal health.
I've gotten fully focused on physical health and diet and lost a stone and a half in that period and actually feeling really fit, considering signing up for a marathon and everything.
And then the weekend just happened, I haven't totally cut out booze over the last 10 weeks but I've seriously cut back as part of my health kick. This weekend I had a work do Friday, out on Saturday and the cup final on Sunday, so the heaviest weekend for a long time.
Thankfully I was off yesterday but I felt fucking horrendous. Not like just a bit hungover, properly screaming into the pillow, crying in the shower awful. All the old feelings of life being pointless and hating myself were back with a vengeance. I didn't get a minute's sleep last night either. I just lay in silence as didn't want the Mrs to know I was back in such a bad place.
I know that I just need to get back into the fitness and health kick and I will get back out of it, but it really was a wake up call to just how much the booze impacts on my head and a reminder to be fucking careful with it. It really is dangerous stuff if you let it. It terrified me how quickly and easily I could be back in that state.