Raith Against The Machine

This. "Lab booked from 2-6pm" No. f**k off. That's not acceptable. I'm going to start printing up my own signs...

You know, if the Rovers made sure that the first man at your corners was a Rovers man, we'd probably do a lot better...

I was in the pub last night, playing the Quiz Machine and sticking some tunes on the jukebox. Just as Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits had started playing, we got the question "Complete the title of the 1981 Dire Straits hit "Romeo and ..."" I love little coincidences like that.

Cheers. I'm not too bothered, I'm here for about an hour or two every fortnight, and it'd be nice to be able to use the laptop in the living room, but if it's any more than 30 seconds work I can't be arsed.

At my parents house, they've got TalkTalk broadband, and they've had it since before wireless was really widespread so the desktop is just plugged into a standard router, provided by TalkTalk. If I buy a wireless router and plug it in instead, will I be able to get wireless internet in the house, or will I have to get in touch with TalkTalk to get it changed over?

There is no beverage in the world with more "tang" than Orange MD.

Press Services, then 0, then 0, 1, Select, then press the left arrow twice to take you to "Sky+ Rebuild" and then press select twice. It'll say "Housekeeping", then turn off. Wait two minutes, turn it back on, and it'll be fine.

Why does Where's Wally? have a walking stick?

Work, Andy? Sounds a hell of a lot like work to me.

How fecking quiet is P&B today? Is it always like this now? I'm rarely on General Nonsense, especially in the evenings, but there's barely been 6 posts an hour today.

I just went for a piss - not because I was needing one, but because I'm supposed to be writing an essay and my procrastination has reached a new level.

My God, I am awful at both writing essays, and time management. It's actually quite pathetic. Even now, typing this post, I'm procrastinating. I think it's the lack of pressure, because the essays I have to do aren't due for a few weeks. I've only ever really done work the few days before deadlines. I don't do very well. Edit: I'm writing an essay on globalisation, and I'm damn, damn tempted to quote Gogol Bordello's "Think Locally, f**k Globally". I'm not too sure how well that'd go down with the ol' peeps who do the marking. They might think it edgy and progressive of me...

The fingers of your children?

Is there anything worse than people with stuff like 'Seanaldinho' printed on the back of football shirts? You're 21 and white!

I don't know what they are, but I imagine it's quite difficult to accidentally name a sitcom character.

A polo neck?

I would, for €12.50!

Touchline ban for Jose McGlynniho.

This! I've recently went from a laptop that had all the "media functions" and the volume control just above the keyboard to one that has them on existing buttons, using "Fn". It's so fecking awkward just to turn the volume down or skip a track. This is not the convenient 21st century that I was promised.

He's been on hold with Sky since last week.

With all the respect in the world, that's nonsense. By all means, if you really, really have to, then go 4-5-1 and sit deep and try to play out a 0-0, but foregoing strikers altogether and playing a 4-6-0 is a complete middle finger up to the entire sport. I'm not a massive Scotland fan, and certainly I wouldn't travel abroad to watch them play, but had I been at the game tonight, I would've been absolutely furious. Accepting that you'd be outclassed in an all-out attacking game is fine, but completely abandoning all hope of attacking before a ball is even kicked is shameful, especially against a fairly average team such as the Czech Republic. Any team that plays without strikers should be roundly shunned by everyone, no matter who it is or who they're playing.

Does anybody know of any footballers (past or present) who have "pay as you play" contracts? It seems to be quite a common thing for fans to suggest, particularly for perma-crocks, but I don't think I've ever actually heard of any players on one of these contracts.

He sounds foreign, he must be good.

Hmm... this was originally in jest, but I've just had a look online, and they don't seem to have Large sizes of the home or away shirts. Why can't I ever seem to get a damn Rovers shirt!?