Raith Against The Machine

I find this post works better if you substitute "uni" with "nursery", "presentation" with "Parent's Night" and "microwave" for "lick".

A valid tactic for party-going. "Yeh, I brought some of this Smart-Price Vodka... oh, there's already a Smirnoff open, I'll drink that then."

I'm not surprised that happened. The number of clowns who drive right up behind learners is really a fucking joke. Always guys driving Beemers too. If my driving instructor was a w****r, I'd happily jump on the brakes and stick a big dent into some w****r's bonnet.

Some deaf w****r. (sorry!)

They tamper with our tinfoil hats!

Only when you send me them...

"soz 4 calln u fat. u r cudly n sxy lol."

Text flirt with her. She'll love it. Fudge won't.

Packets of bacon that have an "average" of 8 rashers. I seem to get 7 quite a lot, but never 9

Aqualung - Jethro Tull "Snot running down his nose..."

I suppose hauntings lose their effectiveness when you're bursting for a slash.

Pissed yourself again?

They won't deny that its their responsibility to fix the roads. The problem is, that they'll say that they're either about to fix it, or that they didn't know about it.

Was there a circle spray-painted around the pot-hole? I'm sure there was a thread on here before about them, which said the councils basically have two answers to pot-hole claims. If it does have a circle round it, then they know about it and it'll be fixed as soon as possible but its not they're fault you've been unlucky and hit it before they could fix it, and if it isn't circled, then they haven't been notified about it so it can't possibly be their fault.

Should've been wearing your Quidditch helmet, silly.

Does Powerleague have a Billiard's Room?

Haven't a clue what you're on about. EDIT: Ah, Phoenix, you're too candle-stick.

Has she stuck a tiny metal dog, hat and boot on the top of it?

Off to bed now. Babar-ring insomnia, I won't be back til morning.

Congrats on 3000 posts, that's a mammoth (woolly elephant!) achievement.

Ivory-membered where you put them, they're in the wardrobe...

Why's it just us two posting here? It's like an elephant graveyard.