Melanius Mullarkey

Well she has a tremendous role model in her father.

Kids TV is shit (apart from T&Ts mum obvs).

Folk (and by that i mean dogs cocks) that send you a form to fill in and rather than setting it up like a professional would (eg a pdf form with appropriate text boxes), they send a fucking MS Word document with stupid cunting dots ...................................................... or underscores ___________________________________________ where you are supposed to write the b*****ding text meaning you have to effectively format their stupid arsehole of a form to accommodate the information the dicks require.

Pea and ham soup.

I assume you came out looking like this.

I was a bit pissed last night so I'm erring on the hangover side.

Not now, m8. I’ve got a headache.

I appear to have woken up with what one can only described as a “fucking hangover”.

FTFTMCs

You’ve put on weight. Too many barbies.

Knighted already. Sum bio.

Aye, not lying down face first in a bush though.

Probably a Renault McCann.

One word: Kenneth Noye

This little c**t?

Court appearance probably. Probably Donald Finlay QC. He must have a lot of pent up anger this week.

Indeed. Shitehawk behaviour from, most likely, a lower class buffoon.

I think thats the thing. Its natural to go to the left rather than the right. Well here it is anyway.

Sounds like she's needing some "comfort".

The wee escalators in the Overgate in Dundee near Clinton Cards. They're the wrong way round. The one on the right goes up where it should be the one on the left. Must be a switch somewhere to change direction.

Have a motorbike engine in their front garden. Have 300 gnomes/windmills/little painted signs in their front garden. Have 200 lumps of dog shit in their front garden.

It’s got Sally Bretton in it so it’s not all bad tbf.

Makes it worse tbh.