Curmudgeon

In division A Board_stupid defeats PurpleKangaroo. I was very much let off the hook. I was in trouble after I overstretched and my centre collapsed. A couple of errors turned the game completely on its head. Good game @craigkillie

It would have to be @red23. Compared to his current other half the Taliban's opinions and rules will seem refreshingly liberal.

I was just coming on to report the same, but with a slightly different perspective. I was getting pulverised and was a bawhair from resigning several moves earlier, but decided to play it out as I had a slight threat down the king side. My king needed oxygen after getting chased round the board, but somehow stole a draw by repetition.

It feels that these two posts belong together.

23 Lords, 19 Ladies, 14 Sirs, 10 Professors, 7 Doctors, 5 Masters and a Reverend. I'm refusing to go as it's not giving me an option to be a Colonel.

I'm not sure what's least surprising about this post. That you've had a mishap that may have resulted in a broken rib or that you seem to already know what a speared lung feels like.

I think chessbassguitar said he was dropping out for this season. Edit, although I might be talking pish and getting confused with him dropping out of the cup.

"My son" wanted a picture with him.

Be on the lookout for cut n shut football clubs. Is there nothing safe from organised crime these days?

Yes, definitely go, but if/when we score you have to celebrate with the full passion the occasion deserves. If you don't then you've let us all down. Greenies may be awarded if we see you being huckled out on the telly.

Truth or Daire...

Good news, but not very catchy. It would've been better to say that there's an imminent imminent.

As Loki points out it probably should be a bye in the semis for someone as CBG beat me fair and square. Although if I'm included in the draw I'd be happy to play it out as a friendly if my opponent wants it as a practice game.

It looks like it's more likely to be a morning of discussing cereal killers.

The email attachment actually says to take excessive care when shouting, singing or celebrating. Excessive care? Therefore in the event of a goal I may cordon off my section of the terracing with tape and a few cones to allow me space to safely construct a sealable perspex box which I can enter. I'll then allow myself a small cheer and some applause to celebrate the occasion. After which I'll dismantle the box, and clear up the tape and cones safe in the knowledge that we're unlikely to score two goals in the one game.

10am approaching and everyone poised to get in there first.

The Lotus Enema, for cleaner emissions.

Good luck to my fellow diddy leaguers for the rest of the tournament@Loki @eindhovendee @Aim Here I've got a feeling my cup run is going to come to an abrupt halt. Good luck to @Trogdoras well, because of outright tribalism.

No offence intended. It's unfortunate that you didn't take on those cattle while you had access to military hardware. You could've really upped your productivity that morning.

Bh3? Although I'm quite happy for you to tell me why doing that would be completely idiotic.

I think it was NBB who, when in charge of the cows at an abattoir, spent all morning bashing one off after another.

We always knew this would turn into a crowdwank, but I didn't think it would be on a literal basis. Fair play.

The queen and rook lined up the diagonal was just too tempting. I could see the danger with the rook sac, but I didn't factor in the second rook following it up. The voice inside my head was going: It's a trap; don't do it; it's clearly a trap; you know it's a trap, right? But like a moth to the flame there was a part of me that wanted to see how it would unfold. It might as well have been a big red button with a sign saying "something bad will happen if you press this".

In division B, GCarlos9 defeats Board_stupid by checkmate. Nicely brought about by a rook sacrifice, I can't have any complaints about the result. This also means that @Loki is confirmed as the Division B champion and well done to him, it's thoroughly deserved. For the rest of us also-rans it we now wait to see if eindhovendee can take anything off him in the final game.