Ebanda's Handyman Services

Wee shite that he is. He'll know all about it when I introduce his baseball bat into our boxing matches. Hope you're feeling better soon pal. Fudge -

Bloody nightmare, eh! My brilliant wee Mum, in her infinite wisdom, decided to get Cole a pair of boxing gloves. I've been battered about the living room like Rihanna. He declares himself the champion and then gives me some more punches.

No, a dark haired chap. He sounds like a caricatured Mr Bean.

Aye. I'd love to go on and beat him just to laugh in his wispy moustachioed face.

The male contestant on Countdown has a terrible voice.

This guy is maybe really nice to the girl and his 'fanny' persona may be a defence mechanism for low self esteem. He might also have a big, long and fat cock that he uses to pelt her rotten. There are ways of letting this girl know that you like her without looking like you are trying to cut this guys grass. Put a wee seed of thought in her mind and if she comes to you, she comes to you. If she doesn't, f**k her! Not literally of course because that would likely land you in the jail for rape.

Yep, his arse has exploded. I like the reputation point thing. It's a kind of background feature that is easy ignored if need be.

Kilt -100. Sorry! Couldn't resist.

Just tear him apart and take his ticket for a refund. You can't just sit there and watch him beg! Edit:- Starting to snow a wee bit in Kirkcaldy.

Starter in my Focus is buggered too and I've not been able to get it to the garage for the snow and ice. As a result I've been going through a ream of petrol and money by driving the bigger car everywhere. You no' been able to bump it Gogo?

See the wee icon next to your name above your avatar? If you click on that you can see everyones rep, profile comment without going into their whole profile.

See where it says "Signed in as .....", there should be a wee arrow that you can click on to show your message box etc. To give folk bad rep, click on the red bit down the bottom right of their post and to give good rep, click on the green bit.

Hit the wee arrow next to your name in the top right corner.

Yeah, probably should have stated that! Does Third 2010 fill up the screen on Firefox?

Down the bottom right there should be a magnifying glass that says 100% next to it. Click on that and it'll take you to 125% and fill the screen up. Alternatively, change to Third 2010. It's easy on the eye and also fills the whole screen.

Put your screen size on 125%, Toma.

You can only do two negative reputation points per day! I'll need to try and cajole people into using their negative rep points on people after I've used all of mine up.

Bunch of useless c***s, eh?

If I didn't have bad luck I'd have no luck at all. Waiting on Roma to complete a wee accumulator and see that they are 2-0 up in the 90th minute. Did Cagliari not just go and score twice in the 90th fucking minute?!

There are a few conflicting forecasts though Gaz. Some saying that we're meant to be getting snow overnight, some saying that it'll be clear. Take care all the same though. I was out today and I hit a few wee bits of black ice.

All main roads are fine. No snow at the moment.

See the part of Jurassic Park when the wee boy gets zapped by 10,000 volts by the electric fence? Surely his hands would have been clenched on to the electric fence and he'd have been a smouldering effigy of his former self within seconds rather than getting shot off the fence? Spielberg's getting an angry letter in the post.

Go out and do something with the kid rather than complaining about having to spend time with him/her!

My brother-in-law gave me a Rubiks cube for my Christmas and it has me beaten. Are there any cheats for it outwith of taking the stickers off and sticking them back on in the correct order?