Ebanda's Handyman Services

Only for the kids. I go to see Santa in the Mercat to tell him what I want in person.

It's certainly not that fantastical character God anyway! It is actually snowing heavier now. Santa must have heard me.

Blizzard conditions here at the moment. Make it snow more Santa and I won't swear for a week.

I'd probably make a joke of it like, "Make yourself at home, eh!" when I'd be meaning, "Put my fucking remote down you cheeky b*****d" whilst making a mental note to never let you in my house again.

Having to sit in today on my day off to wait for a delivery from Toys-r-us that was meant to be delivered on Saturday morning.

I had a dream last night that Stacey from the X-factor picked her nose and pulled out a big snotter with a chipoloata attached to it. Also, I just about dropped the laptop and when trying to catch it I've ripped off buttons 2,3 and 4 and can't re-attach them.

You in Clintons in Kirkcaldy, MMSM?

Cheers. It's f**k all to do with me likes but I was just curious.

Kilt, I'm not taking the piss or anything ok but are you really Bi or was that just a wee 'episode' when you were without medication?

It's Sony. Assuming that you've actually had a ride in your life and don't hate women then you're fine. If I was a woman and went back to a guys house and saw that he had an Xbox the next question that I'd think to ask would be if he also owned a cat called 'Mr' something in a creepy attempt at being cutesy.

Real men have PS3's. Spotty, virginal misogynists play Xbox.

I see what you are saying there. The ninety minutes is for trying to make the other teams players feel shite, not your own. Fans will always get frustrated but I really don't see the benefit of screaming at one of your own teams players about how pish he is. Even the most confident person receives a boost from some positive encouragement.

Hill has reminded me of a young Shaun Dennis this season. Prone to moments of rashness but will happilly go through his granny to win the ball. Real prospect we have there in my opinion.

Dropping Dougie Hill would be an absolute travesty. He has been immense.

I would love to be able to drive my car to it's full potential rather than having to drive it at less than half of what it is capable of. What are the safety stats for the Autobahn?

I just poured some warm (Not boiling!) water over my windows.

I won't have that luxury as I fully intend on getting Newky Brooned.

Push the fucker back! Become a doer and not a sayer. Albeit you are being a sayer on the internet and not towards the knob who pushed you. 'Sake min!

I wish John McCririck (sp?) would shut that blethering pus of his.

I can't get the SPL option file to load on to my PS3.

I liked it when you were speaking all hoity toity, not swearing like a plebian oik. Please continue the snobbery. Cheers, Your ally, Andy.

So f**k. Get her punted. Seriously man, don't waste any more of your time with someone who isn't sure if she wants to be with you. I've been there and done that and I thoroughly resent the waste of time that it was.

I'm not being obtuse at all but I really think you should tell her to go and f**k herself. Bin that flaky effort and get yourself a girl who'll appreciate you with none of that unnecessary drama.

Braw! All the best Seamus.

Does she mean on a short holiday or a break from you?