Ebanda's Handyman Services

I've heard two shotgun blasts in the last 5 minutes in the big field at the back of my house. There are deer, badgers etc living in there but surely it's illegal to make that sort of noise at this time of night?

That might turn out well?

Had to give up my Scotland v Spain ticket due to an illness that has been hanging about me for a couple of weeks.

I saw Bryan Burnett the same day that I saw Noel Gallagher and Meg Matthews in Edinburgh. There's a story that I'll tell my grandkids.

Just saw this. Congratulations WB! Great to have a wee girl eh? Wait until you see the temper on the wee buggers though!

'No think you're being a wee bit precious because someone didn't give you a wee wave for letting them past?

I slept with a woman that used to go with Willie Nanou. Wullie taught her well and I brought her crashing back down to Earth. I thought I might be like Jimmy Grimble when he put on the magic boots but I didn't gain any of Wullie's skills.

All the best, Nick.

Thought I'd bring this up again as if it is a goer I'll need to look in to getting forms sorted out, what money raised would go to etc... Decembeard Any thoughts/ideas?...

Spoke to the extremely sound Dougie Hill before the game and he told me that he was aiming to be back in 4-5 WEEKS! Brilliant news, all the best to him.

I see what you did there etc, why jumping though?

He's acted like a complete wee fanny and karma has bitten him hard on the arse with his injury. He can enjoy watching the Scotland game now instead of playing in it. Part of me wishes that Laurie acted as unprofessionally as him and sunk the heid on him. Our players are disciplined better than that though.

I had Wrong Turn 3 on in the background last night. Pretty pants like and even I could have made the hill folk more menacing. Some of the deaths were quite cool though. 3/10.

Watching WWE is unacceptable unless you are under 12yrs old or you are the kind of person who misses your mouth when attempting to slurp spaghetti.

Definitely 3pts and a £60 fine. I was caught doing 82 in a 70 zone 1 year after I'd passed and got exactly that.

I can see it being pulled soon. Having an hour taken away from the show doesn't bode well for the longevity of it. Scottish football is treated like a jokey aside by them too. I wouldn't be too disappointed if it was binned.

Stop being so melodramatic. As I said, we did it for two kids and had no adverse effects whatsoever. I've also put hot food straight from the oven in to the fridge and scranned it later and I'm still alive. Now please excuse me whilst I run at full pelt around the house whilst holding scissors.

Why is motherfucker abbreviated to mofo? Shouldn't it be mofu?

Granting people one unconditional favour I think.

I appreciate that pal. On reminiscing about those times to the wife she advises me that we were actually doing that on the advice of our health visitor.

We'd make the bottles with boiling water and then fire them straight in the fridge. They'd be used on the same day too. Our wee boy needed the Gaviscon satchets for a little while too due to colic. My wee lass was fine though, thankfully!

Currently reading the wee felly Charlie and the Chocolate factory at bed time. Fair takes you back and you realise how rubbish films are compared to reading.

We made the bottles in batches for both kids (6 bottles at a time) and warmed them up out of the fridge in a container of boiling water. No adverse effects whatsoever!

I'm quite vengeful too and getting it right up them appeals to my nature but I think they'd take an element of satisfaction out of the fact that you have been pissed off about their actions all of this time. Just let them get on with their sub-standard lives, happy in the knowledge that you have made a good life for yourself regardless of what they used to think of you.

Just give it vodka instead.