Jacksgranda Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 On 19/01/2024 at 14:28, PrestersKTID said: My first was born in November, wee boy. Massive shock to the system but we've been lucky that he's fairly chill... most of the time, has his moments though. Ridiculous how much development he's had in the last 11/12 weeks. Every day is something new. Congratulations, trust all is still going well. PrestersKTID 1 Children 310 Total 311 (Total babies 352) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 Anyone got any recommendations for a tablet for a 2yo? Ideally has access to Netflix/Disney+, but obviously need to be able to set parental controls. Cheers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 On 29/12/2023 at 19:20, carpetmonster said: At 11 months and 4 days we’ve finally found something the boy won’t eat. Samosas, fine. Curry, no issues. Wants your eggs that you’ve already put hot sauce on? Doesn’t blink. Caramelized onions this morning were met with a swift ejection from the gob followed by a look of ‘what the f**k did you just try to feed me you c**t?!’ We're at almost 2 years and hes started dipping sliced ham in everything. Soup the other day, but managed to get an action shot of him dipping it in yoghurt the other morning. Possibly my most favourite photo ever taken. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 i'm a travelled man, some say a 'lost wee boy'. The only reason I live in Thailand is for my 3 children. some say 'the only reason you're still alive' 18months ago my Father-in-law had a stroke, he was a farmer, strong 64 yo, worked his private farm every day for the local market. Devastated were the family, mother-in-law who has on going health issues (lazyitist), couldn't/wouldn't take care of him, therefore my eldest 21yo, would move into their house and help. Not much of a problem as her university is closer anyway. Last October the mother died, cancer!. This meant my wife and the children would move in with the father, to take care. It's a Thai thing, eldest daughter(wife) reasonability. My son 11yo didn't want to go, he was happy at his school (top top marks) and wanted to stay with me. Now, since then I've been a single father, we speak every evening with his mum/wife and sisters/daughter. Then weekends I get them together and stay at my house(not the wife). So, it's just me and Roy day to day, father son. Now I've not got a clue what the f**k I'm doing/speaking/helping. I'm hard but fair. He's top of his class/school for exams. Getting 100% in all 10 subjects. Became the 7th best Thai (yes Thai) speaker (story telling) in Thailand, and now been selected at U14 level for the district football team (3 years younger than all the other boys). Now I don't want thanks/greens. I just want it in print (out there). That I'm fucking shiting myself, trying my best. Love and kisses Holding hands to all the fathers out there. He broke his phone on Saturday, only found out yesterday (Wed), he getting the belt!!!! No, no. I/we will drive the 40 mile round trip to get it fixed, wee shite. Lost wee boy,- Phil(dad) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 8 hours ago, SlipperyP said: i'm a travelled man, some say a 'lost wee boy'. The only reason I live in Thailand is for my 3 children. some say 'the only reason you're still alive' 18months ago my Father-in-law had a stroke, he was a farmer, strong 64 yo, worked his private farm every day for the local market. Devastated were the family, mother-in-law who has on going health issues (lazyitist), couldn't/wouldn't take care of him, therefore my eldest 21yo, would move into their house and help. Not much of a problem as her university is closer anyway. Last October the mother died, cancer!. This meant my wife and the children would move in with the father, to take care. It's a Thai thing, eldest daughter(wife) reasonability. My son 11yo didn't want to go, he was happy at his school (top top marks) and wanted to stay with me. Now, since then I've been a single father, we speak every evening with his mum/wife and sisters/daughter. Then weekends I get them together and stay at my house(not the wife). So, it's just me and Roy day to day, father son. Now I've not got a clue what the f**k I'm doing/speaking/helping. I'm hard but fair. He's top of his class/school for exams. Getting 100% in all 10 subjects. Became the 7th best Thai (yes Thai) speaker (story telling) in Thailand, and now been selected at U14 level for the district football team (3 years younger than all the other boys). Now I don't want thanks/greens. I just want it in print (out there). That I'm fucking shiting myself, trying my best. Love and kisses Holding hands to all the fathers out there. He broke his phone on Saturday, only found out yesterday (Wed), he getting the belt!!!! No, no. I/we will drive the 40 mile round trip to get it fixed, wee shite. Lost wee boy,- Phil(dad) You're doing allright, Phil. Keep on, keeping on. The Bairn is down for a visit as the schools/playschools are on holiday. She's not in a good mood today, she came stomping into the living room, I said "Good morning", "NOT GOOD MORNING" was the reply. She's in a wee bit better mood now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 32 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: You're doing allright, Phil. Keep on, keeping on. The Bairn is down for a visit as the schools/playschools are on holiday. She's not in a good mood today, she came stomping into the living room, I said "Good morning", "NOT GOOD MORNING" was the reply. She's in a wee bit better mood now. i LOVE YOU 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 (edited) On 14/02/2024 at 21:53, RandomGuy. said: We're at almost 2 years and hes started dipping sliced ham in everything. Soup the other day, but managed to get an action shot of him dipping it in yoghurt the other morning. Possibly my most favourite photo ever taken. Don’t let him go to Perth, Western Australia https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-13/wa-discourages-ham-being-sold-in-school-canteens/103461338 Edited February 15 by Eednud 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingjoey Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 Fourth grandchild, third grandson, born this morning. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 1 minute ago, kingjoey said: Fourth grandchild, third grandson, born this morning. Congratulations! Great news. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 2 hours ago, kingjoey said: Fourth grandchild, third grandson, born this morning. Congratulations! Grandchildren - kingjoey 4 (+1) Total grandchildren 41 Total babies: 354 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Four years after we started the international adoption process, we got a call today that there is a match for us in Bulgaria! I am a bit overwhelmed with emotions as we had to start again thanks to that wankstain Vladimir Putin (originally we had been approved to adopt from Ukraine). That being said, this is a whirlwind and we need to get on a plane to fly to Bulgaria in a couple of weeks to meet the child and ensure they are indeed a good match for us. So much to do 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 On 27/03/2024 at 19:50, senorsoupe said: Four years after we started the international adoption process, we got a call today that there is a match for us in Bulgaria! I am a bit overwhelmed with emotions as we had to start again thanks to that wankstain Vladimir Putin (originally we had been approved to adopt from Ukraine). That being said, this is a whirlwind and we need to get on a plane to fly to Bulgaria in a couple of weeks to meet the child and ensure they are indeed a good match for us. So much to do Great news! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 On 27/03/2024 at 19:50, senorsoupe said: Four years after we started the international adoption process, we got a call today that there is a match for us in Bulgaria! I am a bit overwhelmed with emotions as we had to start again thanks to that wankstain Vladimir Putin (originally we had been approved to adopt from Ukraine). That being said, this is a whirlwind and we need to get on a plane to fly to Bulgaria in a couple of weeks to meet the child and ensure they are indeed a good match for us. So much to do I'm genuinely curious as to why you're not adopting from Canada's no doubt large pool of unwanted children. It just sounds more trouble with more issues down the line. The bit in bold doesnt really sit well for me, and is more a criticism of the system than of you and senorinasoup. It seems potentially very cruel on the child if you guys decide they aren't for you. Surely any issues with said bambino/bambina would be disclosed well in advance. It just sounds like it has the potential to reaffirm to the child the message received by the initial abandonment if it is rejected a second time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 1 hour ago, velo army said: I'm genuinely curious as to why you're not adopting from Canada's no doubt large pool of unwanted children. It just sounds more trouble with more issues down the line. The bit in bold doesnt really sit well for me, and is more a criticism of the system than of you and senorinasoup. It seems potentially very cruel on the child if you guys decide they aren't for you. Surely any issues with said bambino/bambina would be disclosed well in advance. It just sounds like it has the potential to reaffirm to the child the message received by the initial abandonment if it is rejected a second time. I have a Japanese student and she and her husband were in an adoption process. They were given a particularly difficult 5-year old boy and basically called it a day after a couple of visits. So, the likelihood of this kid getting a good match next time is probably even less now. No negative towards the couple or the kid but the system doesn't seem set up for success in many cases. That said, fair play to anyone stepping up to the plate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 1 hour ago, hk blues said: I have a Japanese student and she and her husband were in an adoption process. They were given a particularly difficult 5-year old boy and basically called it a day after a couple of visits. So, the likelihood of this kid getting a good match next time is probably even less now. No negative towards the couple or the kid but the system doesn't seem set up for success in many cases. That said, fair play to anyone stepping up to the plate. It's not just the system. There's a whole culture around adoption that encourages a Disneyfied Pollyana-esque view of the whole thing. It's a trauma for the kid, but it's unique among childhood trauma in that it's one for which they're expected to be grateful. When adopting people should beware of well behaved and immediately well adapted children. Their survival was threatened once through relinquishment and separation so they've internalised the message that they should be good for these new people so that they don't get abandoned again. Given what we now know about attachment theory especially in how early disruptions impact adaptive behaviour prospective adopters should welcome "difficult" children as they're exhibiting the behaviours that the "good" children repress. Anyone adopting should read "The Primal Wound" and go into this with their eyes wide open. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 (edited) 5 hours ago, velo army said: I'm genuinely curious as to why you're not adopting from Canada's no doubt large pool of unwanted children. It just sounds more trouble with more issues down the line. We initially wanted to, but we actually didn't qualify to adopt domestically for a variety of reasons, including the fact that we rent and aren't homeowners and one aspect of my wife's health. The things that disqualified us in Canada were not an issue for Ukraine or Bulgaria so we proceeded that way. 5 hours ago, velo army said: The bit in bold doesnt really sit well for me, and is more a criticism of the system than of you and senorinasoup. It seems potentially very cruel on the child if you guys decide they aren't for you. Surely any issues with said bambino/bambina would be disclosed well in advance. It just sounds like it has the potential to reaffirm to the child the message received by the initial abandonment if it is rejected a second time. I think I misspoke or didn't phrase that well. We have indeed received all of the dossier and will be discussing it with our adoption social worker before we go to see if there are any things that we are missing when we read and evaluated the report ourselves. As of right now the child is not aware that there is a potential match but they are aware that they are in the registry to be adopted internationally (and are OK with it). The child is of an age where they are able to make a decision on their own so that is more of whether or not they decide they don't like us than if we don't like them. We are 100% committed and would have no intention of not keeping them even if things come up down the line. My wife is a professional in mental health and disability so we are well prepared on that front. 1 hour ago, velo army said: It's not just the system. There's a whole culture around adoption that encourages a Disneyfied Pollyana-esque view of the whole thing. It's a trauma for the kid, but it's unique among childhood trauma in that it's one for which they're expected to be grateful. When adopting people should beware of well behaved and immediately well adapted children. Their survival was threatened once through relinquishment and separation so they've internalised the message that they should be good for these new people so that they don't get abandoned again. Given what we now know about attachment theory especially in how early disruptions impact adaptive behaviour prospective adopters should welcome "difficult" children as they're exhibiting the behaviours that the "good" children repress. Anyone adopting should read "The Primal Wound" and go into this with their eyes wide open. I don't know how it works in the UK, but in Canada you need to take courses and be evaluated by social workers before you can be approved to adopt (domestically and internationally). These courses are specifically designed to teach you about the trauma associated with adoption and evaluate your readiness to handle these situations and it's not an automatic pass. We have also been in contact with people who were adopted, people who have adopted children, and have attended seminars and read a lot of books about adoption and the stories of adopted people. In short, we are well aware of the difficulties of this transition and are prepared for the more difficult behaviour that is likely to be involved as they transition. Edited March 29 by senorsoupe 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 10 minutes ago, senorsoupe said: We initially wanted to, but we actually didn't qualify to adopt domestically for a variety of reasons, including the fact that we rent and aren't homeowners and one aspect of my wife's health. The things that disqualified us in Canada were not an issue for Ukraine or Bulgaria so we proceeded that way. I think I misspoke or didn't phrase that well. We have indeed received all of the dossier and will be discussing it with our adoption social worker before we go to see if there are any things that we are missing when we read and evaluated the report ourselves. As of right now the child is not aware that there is a potential match but they are aware that they are in the registry to be adopted internationally (and are OK with it). The child is of an age where they are able to make a decision on their own so that is more of whether or not they decide they don't like us than if we don't like them. We are 100% committed and would have no intention of not keeping them even if things come up down the line. My wife is a professional in mental health and disability so we are well prepared on that front. I don't know how it works in the UK, but in Canada you need to take courses and be evaluated by social workers before you can be approved to adopt (domestically and internationally). These courses are specifically designed to teach you about the trauma associated with adoption and evaluate your readiness to handle these situations and it's not an automatic pass. We have also been in contact with people who were adopted, people who have adopted children, and have attended seminars and read a lot of books about adoption and the stories of adopted people. In short, we are well aware of the difficulties of this transition and are prepared for the more difficult behaviour that is likely to be involved as they transition. That's really great to hear and I'm glad things are clearly more advanced where you are. I wish you guys all the very best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 11 minutes ago, velo army said: That's really great to hear and I'm glad things are clearly more advanced where you are. I wish you guys all the very best. Thank you, we are under no illusions that this will be easy, but we have been preparing for a while so we believe we are ready. Although you can never truly be ready for everything but we have a good network and a good support system 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lex Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 Second one arrived last month, little girl this time. All doing great but we are deep in the two under two trenches at the moment. Both of them in nappies so it’s regular trips to the dump as the wheelie bins just can’t cope with the sheer volume. Still, it’s good fun and I am sure we will get a full nights sleep at some point in the not too distant future… 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 1 hour ago, Lex said: Second one arrived last month, little girl this time. All doing great but we are deep in the two under two trenches at the moment. Both of them in nappies so it’s regular trips to the dump as the wheelie bins just can’t cope with the sheer volume. Still, it’s good fun and I am sure we will get a full nights sleep at some point in the not too distant future… Congratulations! Children 311 Lex +1 (2) Total: 312 Total babies = 355 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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