Things you want to share with P&B

[supermik]

It's just past 4 in the morning, wide awake (as usual at this time) and I am watching a friggin Christmas movie!

i really should get this insomnia sorted out.

[1320Lichtie]

It's just past 4 in the morning, wide awake (as usual at this time) and I am watching a friggin Christmas movie!

i really should get this insomnia sorted out.

I woke up at 5

[Antti Niemi]

If there was a god he probably would have made it so that you could read in the car without getting a headache.

Conclusive proof imo.

Edited May 2, 2015 by Antti Niemi

[Dee Man]

Eye keeps twitching wtf

I had that for months a few years ago. It used to get worse when I ate spicy food. It's not noticeable to anyone else but to you it feels like you've got a boxing glove on a spring going in and out your eye lid.

Enjoy.

[KnightswoodBear]

Eye keeps twitching wtf

Warp spasm

[Dee Man]

Japs?

Wacist.

[Dee Dee]

Eye keeps twitching wtf

If it only does this, eye twitches, when someone mentions Inspector Clouseau. Keep calm, it's natural, it just means you are Chief Inspector Dreyfus. Try to concentrate on taking the idiot/ nincompoop/ lunatic (Clouseau) down and the eye twitching should cease.

HTH

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

Eye keeps twitching wtf

Wild West Show

Oh, we´re off to see the wild west show

The elephant and the kangeroo

Never mind the weather

As long as we´re together

We´re off to see the wild west show

In the first cage we have the laughing hyena

(Everybody: Amazing, incredible! What the f**k an animal is that?!?!)

This animal lives way up on the moutains

Once, every year, it comes down to drink

Once, every two year, it comes down to drink

And once, every three years, it comes down to have a sexual intercourse

But why is he laughing then ?

Because tonight, it´s THE night !

In the second cage, ladies and gentleman,

We have the Urang-Utang

Well the Urang-Utang lives in the deep jungle of Borneo

And he has two enormous balls,

One of iron, the other of brass

So when he jumps from one tree to another

His balls go: urang-u-tang, urang-u-tang.

In the third cage, ladies and gentleman,

We have the constipated elephant

Well, the elephant has an enormous appetite

In one day it eats two tons of hay.

One dozen bunches of bananas and twenty buckets of rice

And fifty pounds of prunes to cure his constipation.

Madam, don´t stand to near the animal´s backside !

Madam, Madam,….too late. George dig her out,

And if she´s still alive, give her her money back.

In the fourth cage, ladies and gentleman,

We have the little Oo-Ah-bird.

The little Oo-Ah-bird ?

What the fucking hell is that ?

Well, the little Oh-Ah-bird is a small bird,

Which lays big, square eggs.

So, every time it lays an egg, it shouts:

Oo-Ah, Oo-Ah !

And in the next cage we have the winky-wanky-bird.

By some strange incident, the nervous system of

This birds eyelids is connected to its foreskin

So, every time it winks, it wanks, and

every time it wanks, its winks.

You boy, stop throwing sand in the birds eyes.

And here we have the fff-fff-fff-bird.

This bird flies at tremendous hights.

Then suddenly it takes a dive straight to the earth.

One yard above the ground it opens it´s wings

And just one inch above the ground it takes a turn

While saying: ” That was fff-fff-fff- fucking close.

And in the next cage we have the: oei-oei-me balls-bird

This bird is a bird with very short leggs and very bigg balls

And every time it lands it yells:

“Oei-oei-me balls, Oei-oei-me balls” !

And here we have the leopard.

Yes, on it´s coat the leopard has one spot for every day of the year.

What about a leap year ?

“George, lift up the animals tail”.

And in the next cage we have the pi-balled pony.

This is a strange, very small animal, because it has

Balls which are exactly 3,14159 inches big.

And here we have a very rare creature;

It´s a member of the Where-for-the-f**k-are-we tribe.

The Where-for-the-f**k-are-we tribe are very short people

Who live in Africa in very long grass.

So every time you can see them jumping:

“Where-for-the-f**k-are-we,

where-for-the-f**k-are-we !”

And in the last cage we have the lama

The lama is an animal which lives in the mountains

Of South America, and each time when it gets angry,

It does …………..

The last animal of the show, ladies and gentleman,

We have the Bye-bye bird.

Well the Bye-bye bird sits on the gate

And every time someone leaves it says:

“Oh, piss off”.

[mattydfc]

I've had a twitchy eye for months as well

[Sergeant Wilson]

I want to poke my eye out.

Get yourself down to Lichtie23. He's an opta...opthi...Eye doc.

[mrcat1990]

At the fitbaw today I saw Dave. J and Jagfox embracing each other due to the joy of our result. At that point my Internet world collided with reality. Odd.

[jagfox]

At the fitbaw today I saw Dave. J and Jagfox embracing each other due to the joy of our result. At that point my Internet world collided with reality. Odd.

I still don't know your real name. In fact yer pal is still Hoagie too me x

[Sergeant Wilson]

I seen a guy with "gran" tattooed on his neck earlier today.

[BFTD]

I seen a guy with "gran" tattooed on his neck earlier today.

Any chance there was more that you couldn't see? Like, perhaps "ny Danger" curving round to the other side?

[1320Lichtie]

What a guy

[mattydfc]

____/

DDE

[Swarley]

Fucking ouchy!

Aussie Rules player suffers "ruptured testicle"

[Adam]

Fucking ouchy!

Aussie Rules player suffers "ruptured testicle"

The headline makes me feel squeamish, let alone reading about it! Poor guy!

[Dee Man]

Fucking ouchy!

Aussie Rules player suffers "ruptured testicle"

I'll be giving that article a swerve thank you very much.

[mizfit]

The headline is enough to make me sick