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I had a lovely meal with a murderer once, real nice chap.

I was visiting a friend on the scenic north coast who had an old schoolmate of his (from Abbeyview, Dunfermline) and his kid staying over. I found out during the meal that this new guy, known to me simply as 'Malky the Hammer', was up for murder but had somehow been given bail, presumably something about him being a single father or whatever, I didn't want to ask (not really dinner talk material). Basically, he told me quite openly (when the kid was up the stairs) he had suspected that his burd was shagging some guy. He said he was heading away for the weekend, but instead hid inside her bedroom cupboard. So when the guy came in and got down to the funny business, Malky supposedly jumped out and went about him with a claw hammer, aiming to give him something to remember rather than kill him, but that's what a rage-induced hammer through the skull can do it would seem.

Guilty as hell, he evidently knew he was going down for it, so decided to take his kid to a nice part of the country, putting on a delightful spread for his last proper meal, no expense spared. Other than being told he was a hammer wielding homicidal maniac, he seemed quite a pleasant chap, and I remember the bream and langustines being terrific.

Could have been utter bullshit, but he was from Abbeyview right enough.

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Just saw a tweet from some wee lassie saying how excited she is to go to (Wether)spoons tomorrow night. Really? *excited* to go to a fucking Wetherspoons?

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Just saw a tweet from some wee lassie saying how excited she is to go to (Wether)spoons tomorrow night. Really? *excited* to go to a fucking Wetherspoons?

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7 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Anti obesity measures.  You actually burn off 0.000000000002 kcal by shaking bag for 30 seconds.

i once found 3 blue bags in a bag once. Probably one of the best days of my life so far.

 :lol: 3 ! Someone was having i don’t give a f**k day at work. I just used to think imagine buying a pack of half coated biscuits to find they’re just digestives with a chocolate sachet. 

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