Things you want to share with P&B

[welshbairn]

5 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

edit:  anyway, all this frivolity isn't answering the question at hand (YASSSS!).  is my thumb freakishly long or not, @Bairnardo?

Looks like you could easily cover an octave on the piano but you'd get a blister the moment your thumb hit ivory.

[ICTChris]

That’s an exceptionally smooth hand, I must say.

I have terrible skin on my hands, I either look like someone who punches gravel for a living or like I’ve been in a bare knuckle scrap. I also have a number of scars on my hands and large calluses that I developed while working as a labourer and have been exacerbated by my weight training. A year or so ago I developed a growth under my fingernail which I was worried was cancer but was benign and has left me with a nasty scar and split nail.

So I’m jealous of your smooth hands KB. My hands are probably more manly, although that isn’t hard, Britney Spears probably out man-hands you.

[supermik]

The wife and me took the daughter and grandkids out for tea in our local. Had a brilliant tomahawk steak. Turns out there’s a speed dating night on. Pub has spent a fortune on advertising it. No Cnut has turned up. Ha.

[Christophe]

3 hours ago, ICTChris said:

That’s an exceptionally smooth hand, I must say.

I have terrible skin on my hands, I either look like someone who punches gravel for a living or like I’ve been in a bare knuckle scrap. I also have a number of scars on my hands and large calluses that I developed while working as a labourer and have been exacerbated by my weight training. A year or so ago I developed a growth under my fingernail which I was worried was cancer but was benign and has left me with a nasty scar and split nail.

So I’m jealous of your smooth hands KB. My hands are probably more manly, although that isn’t hard, Britney Spears probably out man-hands you.

Ah the old fingernail cancer, it’s a right b*****d that

[Christophe]

3 hours ago, supermik said:

The wife and me took the daughter and grandkids out for tea in our local. Had a brilliant tomahawk steak. Turns out there’s a speed dating night on. Pub has spent a fortune on advertising it. No Cnut has turned up. Ha.

Good story but did they really spend a fortune advertising it, did they?

[Cerberus]

5 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said:

Is it?

[ICTChris]

I was reading a thread on Twitter about gun control when someone posted these charts




Scotland - we will attack you, but you will survive.

[Boghead ranter]

12 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said:

Is it?

Have you swapped hands with Liz Hurley?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

20 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

Have you swapped hands with Liz Hurley?

Was KB up in Dundee yesterday by any chance?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-43058120

[Granny Danger]

Found out this morning that a cheque to HMRC for a fairly small amount had never been cashed and we were still owe them about £36 over  two separate months.

Decided to pay online by Business Credit Card and getting charged a 1.8% Credit Card fee despite such fees being outlawed.

Anyone who uses the HMRC online service will  not be surprised by this, it is an utter shambles.  Nonetheless the fact that they are still applying this charge takes it to a new level of ineptitude.

 

[Shandon Par]

21 minutes ago, Granny Danger said:

Found out this morning that a cheque to HMRC for a fairly small amount had never been cashed and we were still owe them about £36 over  two separate months.

Decided to pay online by Business Credit Card and getting charged a 1.8% Credit Card fee despite such fees being outlawed.

Anyone who uses the HMRC online service will  not be surprised by this, it is an utter shambles.  Nonetheless the fact that they are still applying this charge takes it to a new level of ineptitude.

 

HMRC online is child's play compared to trying to register to file LBTT returns with Revenue Scotland. Laughably bad. Even posted on here to see if any boffins could create a password which would comply with their rules. Try phoning the helpline and you get some clueless c**t. Me and you Granny should go round and give them all a good punch in the pus. 

[Bairnardo]

HMRC online is child's play compared to trying to register to file LBTT returns with Revenue Scotland. Laughably bad. Even posted on here to see if any boffins could create a password which would comply with their rules. Try phoning the helpline and you get some clueless c**t. Me and you Granny should go round and give them all a good punch in the pus. 

S4@ndonPar15Ab3llend

[Shandon Par]

42 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

53 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

HMRC online is child's play compared to trying to register to file LBTT returns with Revenue Scotland. Laughably bad. Even posted on here to see if any boffins could create a password which would comply with their rules. Try phoning the helpline and you get some clueless c**t. Me and you Granny should go round and give them all a good punch in the pus. 

S4@ndonPar15Ab3llend

If only you'd come up with that a couple of months back it would have saved me a £1k fine for not being able to file their stupid form properly or being able to find a solicitor or accountant who could do it properly either. 

[Rugster]

1 hour ago, Granny Danger said:

Found out this morning that a cheque to HMRC for a fairly small amount had never been cashed and we were still owe them about £36 over  two separate months.

Decided to pay online by Business Credit Card and getting charged a 1.8% Credit Card fee despite such fees being outlawed.

Anyone who uses the HMRC online service will  not be surprised by this, it is an utter shambles.  Nonetheless the fact that they are still applying this charge takes it to a new level of ineptitude.

 

GrannyDangerCo2088

[ICTChris]

For all his left-wing posturing Granny Danger is a tax dodger.   What a shock.

[Granny Danger]

I knew I would get a considered and helpful response.

 

 

[KnightswoodBear]

3 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Have you swapped hands with Liz Hurley?

Yes.  In a knockabout 80's style body swap, I've got her hands and she's got the hands of a 40 year old telephone engineer. 

If anyone wants one knocked out with Liz Hurley's hand then I'm perfectly able to shut my eyes and my fees are reasonable for the service provided. 

Edited February 15, 2018 by KnightswoodBear

[Bairnardo]

Just had to beat a hasty retreat from the marine birds at Linlithgow loch who I had intended to feed with Mrs B and the baby B's. Seemingly been a long winter for them since they went fucking ballistic at the sight of a stale tiger roll and adopted an offensive formation. Mrs B actually left the pram and I had to go back into the frenzy to retrieve.

Mental b*****ds.

[ShaggysBeard]

19 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Just had to beat a hasty retreat from the marine birds at Linlithgow loch who I had intended to feed with Mrs B and the baby B's. Seemingly been a long winter for them since they went fucking ballistic at the sight of a stale tiger roll and adopted an offensive formation. Mrs B actually left the pram and I had to go back into the frenzy to retrieve.

Mental b*****ds.

I can back this up. Savages.

My 4 year old got bit by swan at Linlithgow Loch last summer. He was dithering with the bread and swan was clearly impatient and irritated by my son.

My wife had the phone out and filming him feeding them at the time, it's' a good clip. We tried to make £250 out of it but 'You've Been Framed' knocked it back as it was filmed in portrait mode.

[Shandon Par]

34 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Just had to beat a hasty retreat from the marine birds at Linlithgow loch who I had intended to feed with Mrs B and the baby B's. Seemingly been a long winter for them since they went fucking ballistic at the sight of a stale tiger roll and adopted an offensive formation. Mrs B actually left the pram and I had to go back into the frenzy to retrieve.

Mental b*****ds.

A big swan got out of the water near the Kelpies and offered a square go to my dog when he was just a tiny pup. Stay safe and don't leave Edinburgh is the message here.