Dee Man Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Watching the news the other day about some guy getting sentenced to death in the USA: "Do the still have the death penalty in America??" No, they're just saying that for a laugh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 3, 2018 Share Posted May 3, 2018 Watching Apocalypse Now with missus. About 2 hours in. Our main character has been tasked with finding Col. Kurtz. He has been seen reading files on Kurtz, had meetings about Kurtz, heard a tape of Kurtz and the whole film, with the exception of a few diversions, is about the hunt for Kurtz. “Does he know who he’s looking for yet?”. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted May 3, 2018 Share Posted May 3, 2018 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 3, 2018 Share Posted May 3, 2018 (edited) 29 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Watching Apocalypse Now with missus. About 2 hours in. Our main character has been tasked with finding Col. Kurtz. He has been seen reading files on Kurtz, had meetings about Kurtz, heard a tape of Kurtz and the whole film, with the exception of a few diversions, is about the hunt for Kurtz. “Does he know who he’s looking for yet?”. Tbf to your missus that's the whole point of the film. A mad man or a principled genius. Edited May 3, 2018 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted May 3, 2018 Share Posted May 3, 2018 Love the smell of napalm in the morning. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted May 3, 2018 Share Posted May 3, 2018 Spending a week training through work with nine other colleagues and for those of us that don’t drive, we have to get the train out to Hairmyres every day. Waiting for the train back to Glasgow on Monday afternoon and a female colleague asked “are we not on the wrong platform? This is the platform we got off the train this morning”. It’s a one track station... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 4, 2018 Share Posted May 4, 2018 10 hours ago, IainMorton said: Spending a week training through work with nine other colleagues and for those of us that don’t drive, we have to get the train out to Hairmyres every day. Waiting for the train back to Glasgow on Monday afternoon and a female colleague asked “are we not on the wrong platform? This is the platform we got off the train this morning”. It’s a one track station... A bit like her brain, then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted May 4, 2018 Share Posted May 4, 2018 13 hours ago, IainMorton said: Spending a week training through work with nine other colleagues and for those of us that don’t drive, we have to get the train out to Hairmyres every day. Waiting for the train back to Glasgow on Monday afternoon and a female colleague asked “are we not on the wrong platform? This is the platform we got off the train this morning”. It’s a one track station... Once had a lassie say "If the train line stops at Balloch how do people go further?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted May 7, 2018 Share Posted May 7, 2018 The fact that they were lovely, polite, helpful guys should have been enough to avoid such confusion. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 "Is Dunfermline and Fife close to each other?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 Im in the dog house for calling her stupid but it was impossible not to. Trying to get the kid's kite flying at the beach without much success ( too windy for the cheap rubbish). "Why dont we try it facing the other way?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 "Is Dunfermline and Fife close to each other?" Hope you put her straight? She should obviously be asking are Dunfermline and Fife close to each other. Idiot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 Hope you put her straight? She should obviously be asking are Dunfermline and Fife close to each other. Idiot. I did. I informed her they're both shitholes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 I did. I informed her they're both shitholes. While that may not be totally false I’ll get DA Baracus to shite in your pillowcase and by f**k you know he’ll do it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 Reading about the Art School fire on twitter there. Wife pips up "What happens to all the students' stuff?" I'm an arsehole apparantly for saying "they get burnt" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzo Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 My mother in law must have watched a documentary on folk with pica recently. Pica being a disease that compels people to consume non-nutritious items such as stone, plaster, carpet etc. I did get a good laugh at her resulting rants. "Would you not just tell your wean to stop eating the carpet? Or at the very least go and pick up a book of free samples to stop her eating the good carpets?" Another example in the documentary was a woman who liked to specifically eat the bricks from her grandmothers house. The MIL worded it in the following way... "She liked the bricks from her nana's hoose best, so she goes there for a wee goody bag every now and then." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 On 17/05/2018 at 15:28, NJ2 said: While that may not be totally false I’ll get DA Baracus to shite in your pillowcase and by f**k you know he’ll do it. I will 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 I will It’s nice to know there are still some reliable people around 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 “Is that player really named after the dog from Coronation St?” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 Pointed out to the wife that there is a documentary on tonight about Third Lanark, and that she might be interested in it as we went to their ground recently. "That the one in Berlin?" Comes the reply. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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