DA Baracus Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Was thinking of going to Commando training - lots of females. They try and get you on Herbalife thing though but it would be a good way to meet people. You should have chipped in with some info, or were they munters? They were all right. I suppose I could have chipped in with my penis but that would have resulted in arrest and being fired. Also not sure on how old they were, so dangerous territory. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 An excerpt from a phone conversation this morning. Client, How often does the annual servicing take place. Me, (mutters ffs under breath), every twelve months. Depending on whether she has a headache 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglebonce Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 My ex:What came first, dinosaurs or religion? Because if Jesus was about in dinosaur times why don't they talk about that in the bible? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 My ex: What came first, dinosaurs or religion? Because if Jesus was about in dinosaur times why don't they talk about that in the bible? Not executed well from her but the point she makes is an arguement I hold against religion. 'God' created all apparently, yet no mention of the dinosaurs. Plenty of evidence that they were real 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albino Rover Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 (edited) I bet when God finished his final draft of the Bible, a few minutes after sending it to the publishers he slapped himself on the forehead, exclaiming "Shit, forgot the dinosaurs!" To be fair to him, it was millions of years ago... Edited April 16, 2014 by Albino Rover 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zidane's child Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 A women in work thought the green P plate you but on your car after you've passed your driving test stood for Pensioner 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuggie_Murray7 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 A women in work thought the green P plate you but on your car after you've passed your driving test stood for Pensioner My missus once asked if it was a doctors car. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Not from a lassie but deserves to be in here. Call from our help desk 'does the fund value have anything to do with the fund value rebate?' what do you do with that? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 My hair dye says 12 weeks on the box but it only lasted three months. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Re the golf thing; if I was asked where it was held I would have idea either as I'm not a golf fan.This.If asked I'd presume they moved every tournament around to a different venue each year, and even saying "each year" would be a guess that it was an annual event. There are some folk who don't do golf in any form. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Was watching the highlights of the Man City v Sunderland game. Nasri's equaliser I let out a "ffs" as the keeper spilled it into his own net. Wife pipes up "how does that goal count? Surely it was hand ball?". Yes my dear the goalie is allowed to touch it with his hands! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Sitting watching Kevin Hart's latest stand up show on Netflix and it shows how he's travelled around America and Europe. And for the punch line of this, I've just came back from a training course in Leeds, residing in Essex. Her 'Where's Oslo?' Me 'Norway, in Scandinavia' Her 'aw, okay' Next one where he stops off is in Copenhagen. Her 'where's that place?' Me 'that's in Denmark' Her 'aw yeah, you stopped off there on your way to Leeds didn't you' Then, he's talking about how he's from Philadelphia Her 'aw imagine that, they named a city after that cheesy butter, that's so cool'. W. T. F. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpudNuts Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 My ex was doing the sun crossword once, the clue was "Arbroath FC Home Ground (8,4). Her answer was "Pleasure Land". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardy Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Sitting watching Kevin Hart's latest stand up show on Netflix and it shows how he's travelled around America and Europe. And for the punch line of this, I've just came back from a training course in Leeds, residing in Essex. Her 'Where's Oslo?' Me 'Norway, in Scandinavia' Her 'aw, okay' Next one where he stops off is in Copenhagen. Her 'where's that place?' Me 'that's in Denmark' Her 'aw yeah, you stopped off there on your way to Leeds didn't you' Then, he's talking about how he's from Philadelphia Her 'aw imagine that, they named a city after that cheesy butter, that's so cool'. W. T. F. Your clearly with her for her looks eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 From My mother in 1981 (It'll become clear why I can be accurate about a date so long ago. BBC TV announcer: and now, Film 81 with Barry Norman. Mother: Oh is it not the same presenter? Us: Huh? Mother: you know, Phil Matey 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Even I'm too old to appreciate that one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broony88 Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 (edited) While discussing the recent incident with the ferry in South Korea I explained that the Head Teacher of the school had been found hanging from a tree. Obviously struggling to come to terms with what had happened. Her response " That was lucky finding a tree in the middle of the sea" Oh for FFS!!!! Edited April 18, 2014 by Broony88 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 My ex was doing the sun crossword once, the clue was "Arbroath FC Home Ground (8,4). Her answer was "Pleasure Land". I wish, dont get to much fucking pleasure from the place... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Your clearly with her for her looks eh? I know I've made a few appearances here but tbh she's actually not that daft, it just seems at times her common sense just goes for a massive fucking wander at the wrong time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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