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Out of the mouth of babes...


kiwififer

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Pancake Tuesday the other week there made me remember one from my missus a few years ago. I was going to give the wean something that had traces of nuts in it or something and the missus said I wasn't to bother as we still couldn't be 100% sure she wasn't allergic to nuts.

"She eats nutella like her life depends on it"

"Aye but that's chocolate"

"...that's made with nuts"

"What? No its not."

"Eh the hints in the name there shagger. NUT-ella...?"

She actually went and checked the jar to see if I was taking the piss out of her.

We had a discussion about the contents of soup the other day. He wouldn't eat chicken soup from a can because "you know I can't eat anything that's been a live that comes out of a can!".

Me: I've seen you eat other soups out of cans

Him: Yeah, but not with meat in

Me: You eat oxtail soup

Him: Yeah, but that's not meat!

Me: It's oxtail.

Him: That's not actually meat though, is it?

Me: It's Ox. Tail.

Him: ...

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We had a discussion about the contents of soup the other day. He wouldn't eat chicken soup from a can because "you know I can't eat anything that's been a live that comes out of a can!".

Me: I've seen you eat other soups out of cans

Him: Yeah, but not with meat in

Me: You eat oxtail soup

Him: Yeah, but that's not meat!

Me: It's oxtail.

Him: That's not actually meat though, is it?

Me: It's Ox. Tail.

Him: ...

What, like big hairy ox's? Their tails?

Whit the f**k :o

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We had a discussion about the contents of soup the other day. He wouldn't eat chicken soup from a can because "you know I can't eat anything that's been a live that comes out of a can!".

Me: I've seen you eat other soups out of cans

Him: Yeah, but not with meat in

Me: You eat oxtail soup

Him: Yeah, but that's not meat!

Me: It's oxtail.

Him: That's not actually meat though, is it?

Me: It's Ox. Tail.

Him: ...

Out of the mouth of blokes thread for this pish. ;)

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What, like big hairy ox's? Their tails?

Whit the f**k :o

Hate oxtail soup.

Oxtail in the slow cooker with some kidneys and other entrails? Wid, for every meal, oh yes indeed.

Can't have it too often as it's very fattening and I don't want to end up like a beached whale. Wait, hold on... :o

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We had a discussion about the contents of soup the other day. He wouldn't eat chicken soup from a can because "you know I can't eat anything that's been a live that comes out of a can!".

Me: I've seen you eat other soups out of cans

Him: Yeah, but not with meat in

Me: You eat oxtail soup

Him: Yeah, but that's not meat!

Me: It's oxtail.

Him: That's not actually meat though, is it?

Me: It's Ox. Tail.

Him: ...

Can't eat anything that's been alive out of a can? Why? What about tuna?

Madness!

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Can't eat anything that's been alive out of a can? Why? What about tuna?

Madness!

Nope, not even tuna. I can't make the kids tuna sandwiches while he's in the house. He just dry heaves as soon as I open the tin. You're absolutely right, it's madness!

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Watching river city the other week

Her: can we go a drive up there one day?

Me: where?

Her: sheildinch

Me: are you joking? It's a TV set

Her: no it's not, it's a real place, look at it

Me: (laughing my head off) you're no right in the head

It's in Dumbarton.

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Watching river city the other week

Her: can we go a drive up there one day?

Me: where?

Her: sheildinch

Me: are you joking? It's a TV set

Her: no it's not, it's a real place, look at it

Me: (laughing my head off) you're no right in the head

I've had a couple of nice days out in Balamory and Tannochbrae. Are you telling me they're not real either? I've booked an open bus tour of Craiglang for Saturday. Should I cancel?

Edited by The_Kincardine
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I've had a couple of nice days out in Balamory and Tannochbrae. Are you telling me they're not real either? I've booked an open bus tour of Craiglang for Saturday. Should I cancel?

Everyone knows about balamory, couldn't tell you about the others though
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I've had a couple of nice days out in Balamory and Tannochbrae. Are you telling me they're not real either? I've booked an open bus tour of Craiglang for Saturday. Should I cancel?

You never had a 'nice day out in balamory'.

You had a nice day out in Tobermory.

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