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Annoying things people write on Facebook


Geedub-MFC

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My mum left her Facebook logged on when she was on my laptop earlier. Now, she does this quite often, and I usually log off immediately. This time, however, I couldn't help but have a browse through her news-feed. Shameful, I know.

One of her friends got 20 (TWENTY) likes for tagging her two neighbours in a post which read 'Remember it's the green bins tomorrow ladies!".
:huh:

To put this into a bit of perspective, my mother put a photo of me looking dece as f**k before my social/prom last night and it got 26 likes. Wholly unfair.

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My mum left her Facebook logged on when she was on my laptop earlier. Now, she does this quite often, and I usually log off immediately. This time, however, I couldn't help but have a browse through her news-feed. Shameful, I know.

One of her friends got 20 (TWENTY) likes for tagging her two neighbours in a post which read 'Remember it's the green bins tomorrow ladies!".

:huh:

To put this into a bit of perspective, my mother put a photo of me looking dece as f**k before my social/prom last night and it got 26 likes. Wholly unfair.

you're approximately 34% more likeable than a green bin, what's your issue?

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Your mother must be so proud.

TBF, I was contemplating something similar last week for my Facebook.

Difference being I was there to potentially find folk like that guilty if need be.

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"absolutely devastated I'm no longer going to Download because of personal reasons, but I hope everyone has a boss week!"

I think you can imagine the replies she got. <_<

What a fucking jobby.

I'm not sure...PM me...***..

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Get junkies Out of Dundee City Centre page is an absolute maelstrom of fail and intolerance. Also, half the folk I know who like it are well partial to a wee pill or line of a weekend and probably cause more bother when pished than any junkie.

This page is just...wow.

My favourite thing is that the comment about 'junkies with dugs not looking after them' has the most likes of any I've seen. Because there's only one thing worse than drug taking, and that's animal cruelty.

Additionally, lol at the idea that the folk that hang about the town centre looking for 20p are the only drug takers in the city. Lolololol.

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Christ. That page is indeed a shitgibbon enclosure. The guy running it most definitely cares more his own self-image and bigging himself up than he does about making Dundee "tourist friendly".

For example:

If you have seen a discarded needle hit like and say where. I'm going to be speaking to the evening telegraph tomorrow.

So basically you're asking people to "like" seeing needles lying around.

Should junkies get benefits?

Aye. Cos I'm sure they'll be much less of a nuisance if you don't give them any money whatsoever.

Hot weather brings out stinking mingers who think they are hot. You are putting people off their ice cream. town is full of them.

Didn't realise the page extended to mingers as well as junkies.

Obviously all my sarky comments are posted here rather than on the page cos I'm a fearty shitebag :)

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Taken down already? I just get sent to my homepage through that link.

Not a friend of mine on Facebook, but got pointed to it by a lass down the pub on Tuesday. There's a guy who plays darts for the local pub, in his late 30's I'd say, right sweaty fat b*****d. Sitting still makes him sweat I kid not. Anyhow got told to check out his Facebook, and it's an entirely new person he's created for himself. Six pack model as his profile pic & every update going on about his wife, who he links up as some hot blonde from New Zealand. He also seems to have generated friends in far flung places who he calls brothers & sisters, every post is utter shite. Is this sort of nonsense commonplace among the idiots on this planet? I'm caught between pishing myself & genuinely distressed!

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Finally found something funny someone shared, its an amazon customer review for veet.

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myoself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didnt have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadnt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering ooooohhh that feels good Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadnt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasnt the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didnt improve my status.

So to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.

Edited by Tamdunk
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