Depression

[Derry Alli]

Got 2 tickets to a gig in Glasgow on Friday night. If any of you guys are at a loose end and are in Glasgow (or are willng to travel there) give me a shout and I'll send them to you. Not looking for anything for them just rather they never went to waste. 

I'll offer them to the rest of the forum tomorrow if I've no takers. 

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

Might be interested in these if still available.

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

Ha, shit. Just saw wha thread this was. Please feel free to give them to someone on here.

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said:

Ha, shit. Just saw wha thread this was. Please feel free to give them to someone on here.

I've not heard a peep neither on here nor on the Things you want to share thread. If you're still interested, drop me a PM. 

[Priti priti priti Patel]

Surely it depends who's playing

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

Surely it depends who's playing

Shed 7 and The Twang. Guy is only trying to help folk out ya milk snatching old c**t.

[Derry Alli]

2 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Surely it depends who's playing

Aye sorry, i left out that quite important information from my post in here. 

As dosser says, it's Shed Seven supported by the Twang. 

Still available. 

[Stellaboz]

Aye sorry, i left out that quite important information from my post in here. 
As dosser says, it's Shed Seven supported by the Twang. 
Still available. 

I fucking bet they are.

[carpetmonster]

As dosser says, it's Shed Seven supported by the Twang. 
Still available. 

I thought this thread was for helping each other out?

[Guest JTS98]

11 hours ago, Dele said:

Aye sorry, i left out that quite important information from my post in here. 

As dosser says, it's Shed Seven supported by the Twang. 

Still available. 

I'd love to see Shed Seven again. A good night guaranteed.

Sadly, I'm thousands of miles away.

[Dons_1988]

I couldn’t make it either but she’d seven are brilliant.

[101]

21 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

I couldn’t make it either but she’d seven are brilliant.

[Dons_1988]

Autocorrect can f**k off.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

8 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Autocorrect can duck off.

FTFY 

[Jacksgranda]

On 26/11/2019 at 18:59, Dele said:

Got 2 tickets to a gig in Glasgow on Friday night. If any of you guys are at a loose end and are in Glasgow (or are willng to travel there) give me a shout and I'll send them to you. Not looking for anything for them just rather they never went to waste. 

I'll offer them to the rest of the forum tomorrow if I've no takers. 

 

14 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Surely it depends who's playing

 

12 hours ago, Dele said:

Aye sorry, i left out that quite important information from my post in here. 

As dosser says, it's Shed Seven supported by the Twang. 

Still available. 

[D.A.F.C]

After another meltdown on here after something happened I wanted some advice.

Basically due to events in teenage years I gave up or split from a bunch of toxic friends, who weren’t really ever friends tbh, I also lost a close decent friend out of the blue and stopped socialising for a few years and just hid away but still working.

I don’t know if this was a depressive episode but it lasted until I was about 30 when I started working a day shift job and started hillwalking and fives. I then reconnected with someone who knew the group of friends and I started wondering about them. So I foolishly opened up and sent a message to a couple of them on Facebook. I got zero acknowledgement or a reply. I then met up some by playing fives, one tried to make out I attacked them due to a collision, also had a couple of nights out and it felt strained and awkward. They acted as if the ten years gap never happened. Weird. They were now either functioning alcoholics, super unhealthy and didn’t have any real hobbies or interests outside drink/drugs. Tbh I saw them for what they were, a bad crowd and not the cool kids I thought they were at school. I’m reasonably quiet and had a decent upbringing, I think this is what started all their shit at school. Maybe jealousy?

That was around five years ago and I haven’t really had that many nights out since or met many people except fives. I feel isolated as I moved outside the town and when you add the work situation I’ve started to think that somehow it’s me. The thing is I was always known as a nice and decent person, a bit quiet but never an arsehole or bighead. Once people give me a chance and talk then I can make friends.

Like Da Baracus I’m starting to hate feeling alone and disguise it by working out nearly every day. Sitting around isn’t for me, also it helps with the dark moods. I’ve thought about joining a gym and nearly did, it seemed like a good one as well where there’s group activities but it’s like there’s some handbrake in my head that says. ‘Nah you’re a dick they won’t like you, what if someone from work or one of those friends were there, they will all be super fit and laugh at you’ aye ok then won’t bother.

The thing is sometimes I really surprise myself, when I analyse anything I’ve done I’ve never given up and usually coped at worst or sometimes came out as one of the best. I think that’s why the work thing is fucking me up so bad. It’s like a denial of reality. Great reviews and appraisals, genuinely told I’ve held a whole department together by myself then abused and insulted by the same person and talked about as if my efforts and achievements didn’t happen. I’ve researched narcissism and toxic workplaces and have spoken to others on forums to confirm, everything and all our experiences are identical but somehow I can’t shake it and rise above it to see that it’s not personal. I’m trying to prove myself, get denied then get angry and talk crap on here or elsewhere if it gets too bad.

Lastly, going back to meeting someone. Dating is a non event due to self esteem. I downloaded a couple of apps but felt so insecure I couldn’t even upload a picture. Also it would just have to be selfies, I have like zero social ones. It would come across as weird surely?

I don’t expect all the answers or a solution but I do know that I have to change, to stop being angry, to properly confront and sort out work issues and maybe try some new clubs or events but it just seems like a closed loop of hopelessness. Focusing on fitness is saving me though and I’ve become fanatical about it, I’ve never been so driven about anything before. I can relate and identify to what David Goggins says, that it needs to come from within, nobody will really help you apart from you. Also using the hurt and pain as motivation. It’s actually starting to work.

Sorry for the long rant, I know that others on here are going through really bad life events but mine is just being stuck in a loop. Hopefully this explains why I’m so angry on here sometimes. 

Edited December 1, 2019 by D.A.F.C

[pandarilla]

Friendships and close relationships will come in its own time - and is quite difficult to force. I'd suggest trying not to worry about that as it's not really in your control.

But finding comfort in yourself as an individual sounds like it can be achieved chief. I always find people who think quite deeply about how they come across are more self-aware and generally good guys. You certainly don't sound like an arsehole.

What is your job, if you don't mind me asking? And is getting a new one something that seems do-able?

[NJ2]

After another meltdown on here after something happened I wanted some advice.
Basically due to events in teenage years I gave up or split from a bunch of toxic friends, who weren’t really ever friends tbh, I also lost a close decent friend out of the blue and stopped socialising for a few years and just hid away but still working.
I don’t know if this was a depressive episode but it lasted until I was about 30 when I started working a day shift job and started hillwalking and fives. I then reconnected with someone who knew the group of friends and I started wondering about them. So I foolishly opened up and sent a message to a couple of them on Facebook. I got zero acknowledgement or a reply. I then met up some by playing fives, one tried to make out I attacked them due to a collision, also had a couple of nights out and it felt strained and awkward. They acted as if the ten years gap never happened. Weird. They were now either functioning alcoholics, super unhealthy and didn’t have any real hobbies or interests outside drink/drugs. Tbh I saw them for what they were, a bad crowd and not the cool kids I thought they were at school. I’m reasonably quiet and had a decent upbringing, I think this is what started all their shit at school. Maybe jealousy?
That was around five years ago and I haven’t really had that many nights out since or met many people except fives. I feel isolated as I moved outside the town and when you add the work situation I’ve started to think that somehow it’s me. The thing is I was always known as a nice and decent person, a bit quiet but never an arsehole or bighead. Once people give me a chance and talk then I can make friends.
Like Da Baracus I’m starting to hate feeling alone and disguise it by working out nearly every day. Sitting around isn’t for me, also it helps with the dark moods. I’ve thought about joining a gym and nearly did, it seemed like a good one as well where there’s group activities but it’s like there’s some handbrake in my head that says. ‘Nah you’re a dick they won’t like you, what if someone from work or one of those friends were there, they will all be super fit and laugh at you’ aye ok then won’t bother.
The thing is sometimes I really surprise myself, when I analyse anything I’ve done I’ve never given up and usually coped at worst or sometimes came out as one of the best. I think that’s why the work thing is fucking me up so bad. It’s like a denial of reality. Great reviews and appraisals, genuinely told I’ve held a whole department together by myself then abused and insulted by the same person and talked about as if my efforts and achievements didn’t happen. I’ve researched narcissism and toxic workplaces and have spoken to others on forums to confirm, everything and all our experiences are identical but somehow I can’t shake it and rise above it to see that it’s not personal. I’m trying to prove myself, get denied then get angry and talk crap on here or elsewhere if it gets too bad.
Lastly, going back to meeting someone. Dating is a non event due to self esteem. I downloaded a couple of apps but felt so insecure I couldn’t even upload a picture. Also it would just have to be selfies, I have like zero social ones. It would come across as weird surely?
I don’t expect all the answers or a solution but I do know that I have to change, to stop being angry, to properly confront and sort out work issues and maybe try some new clubs or events but it just seems like a closed loop of hopelessness. Focusing on fitness is saving me though and I’ve become fanatical about it, I’ve never been so driven about anything before. I can relate and identify to what David Goggins says, that it needs to come from within, nobody will really help you apart from you. Also using the hurt and pain as motivation. It’s actually starting to work.
Sorry for the long rant, I know that others on here are going through really bad life events but mine is just being stuck in a loop. Hopefully this explains why I’m so angry on here sometimes. 

Kudos for opening up, it’s never easy, and hopefully you feel a bit better for getting it all written down / out.
I’d say go for it in regards to joining a gym. Nobody there (I would think) is going to judge you any more so than you judge yourself - definitely my experience of gyms.
I don’t think there’d be anything wrong with having a dating profile of only selfies, although I can’t say they’re something that were massively for me.
Could potentially see if the folk you play fives with want to get a Christmas night out or something? I would assume if you’re playing with the same folk all the time, they don’t think you’re a dick or they’d have tried to ease you out of playing.

[D.A.F.C]

Friendships and close relationships will come in its own time - and is quite difficult to force. I'd suggest trying not to worry about that as it's not really in your control.

But finding comfort in yourself as an individual sounds like it can be achieved chief. I always find people who think quite deeply about how they come across are more self-aware and generally good guys. You certainly don't sound like an arsehole.

What is your job, if you don't mind me asking? And is getting a new one something that seems do-able?

My job isnt really that niche or difficult to find another. Just close by and well paid.
Really I know that I need to just fix my mindset. Deep down everyone has massive insecurities and I've been putting people on a pedestal when they're probably more messed up than me but hide it by being loud or abusing others. I'm hanging on to see if a change in management is going to help at work that's only going to take a few months. If not I've decided I'm not going to put up with it and move on.
It's a shame really as it's really just a handful of people that's fucking it up for the rest.

[Dons_1988]

6 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

My job isnt really that niche or difficult to find another. Just close by and well paid.
Really I know that I need to just fix my mindset. Deep down everyone has massive insecurities and I've been putting people on a pedestal when they're probably more messed up than me but hide it by being loud or abusing others. I'm hanging on to see if a change in management is going to help at work that's only going to take a few months. If not I've decided I'm not going to put up with it and move on.
It's a shame really as it's really just a handful of people that's fucking it up for the rest.

To be honest from reading both your posts I think you're someone on the cusp of sorting all this out.

You seem very self aware and taking actions to improve things, even if you haven't been able to target it quite in the right place yet. I see myself in you, I used to (still sometimes do) found myself despairing at the actions of others at work or in life in general even though I didn't feel I'd done anything to them. There needs to be an acceptance that you can only really do you, you can't control others. And as you say, they're probably just as messed up!

Don't be drawn towards 'friends' you know are arseholes just because you've felt loneliness etc. I've made that mistake, I hated myself so I forced myself to go to football etc with people who were a negative influence. I was a figure of ridicule when I was a fat f**k, not that I mind having the piss taken out of me, but no one ever realised that I got fat because I'd given up on myself and just stopped looking after myself, they just wanted their laughs.

Get comfortable spending time alone, build your self confidence and self motivation then start meeting people. Then you'll be confident enough to know who is worth your time and who isn't. That sounds a bit isolationist but I left all the whatsapp groups I was in, stopped going to big group events and immediately noticed the absence of the constant negativity. And you know what? The mates who gave a shit about me I ended up seeing and speaking to regularly anyway, whilst the dickheads disappeared.

Sorry that possibly wasn't very coherent but happy to talk in more detail if you like. Also have you read Goggins book/listened to audiobook, well worth partaking in if you've only done youtube videos etc up to now.