Depression

[Iminavest]

22 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

There's always someone worse off, but it isn't a competition and it doesn't mean that you can't suffer from depression and/or other issues

There's a great line in Brain Fallons song 'Rosemary' 

"And everybody's hurt, and mine ain't the worst
But it's mine and I'm feelin' it now"

[HenryHill]

On 23/02/2018 at 15:49, Shotgun said:

Other than to my wife and a couple of medical professionals, this thread is the only place where I've talked about my depression. This is partly due to the stigma around mental health, which leads me to being self-conscious about it. Mostly though; it's because I'm a fairly private person and don't feel the need to make my personal business public knowledge. 

Last weekend though; we were out with another couple and the conversation inevitably turned towards my job search and my lack of progress on it. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself confiding in them about the problems I've been having. We're not that close to this couple and frankly, I'd much rather they didn't know at all. But there we go, it's done now.

All this week she's been sending me 'inspirational' stories of people who have overcome incredible odds. Concentration camp survivors, soldiers with PTSD and so on. The clear message "If they can do it, so can you. Pull your socks up!"

f**k
f**k
f**k

Each time, I've replied politely that this doesn't help and will she please stop. Obviously she hasn't, which means I'm now at the stage where I'm ready to make a suggestion of what she could do with a running chainsaw. 

She is just someone who doesn't know how depression works. Depression isnt linked much to how things are going. Thats the problem. You can feel shit when everything is going great and then you feel even worse wondering what you will feel like if your life gets worse. It also makes you think if you cant be happy then, then when can you. For a lot of dolk the whole, well at least i am not in Somalia doesn't work.

Dont get annoyed with that lassie. Just accepts she doesn't get it and ignore her.

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, HenryHill said:

She is just someone who doesn't know how depression works. Depression isnt linked much to how things are going. Thats the problem. You can feel shit when everything is going great and then you feel even worse wondering what you will feel like if your life gets worse. It also makes you think if you cant be happy then, then when can you. For a lot of dolk the whole, well at least i am not in Somalia doesn't work.

Dont get annoyed with that lassie. Just accepts she doesn't get it and ignore her.

Some people think that every problem can be beaten by declaring war and fighting it head on, probably from reading tabloids about folk bravely battling cancer and beating it etc. My way of coping with depression is to remind myself that it's not going to last forever and to try and objectively look at myself from an outside perspective. I'm generally quite content being at a mildly miserable level of happiness, so anything better than hiding under the duvet till I starve is a bonus. Only had a couple of episodes like that though, and many years ago.

[Iminavest]

I feel like I have no personality. Even speaking with friends I've known for years feels like a struggle and comes to awkward silences.

[DA Baracus]

13 minutes ago, Iminavest said:

I feel like I have no personality. Even speaking with friends I've known for years feels like a struggle and comes to awkward silences.

Is this a recent thing or something more long term?

[PB 4.2]

15 minutes ago, Iminavest said:

I feel like I have no personality. Even speaking with friends I've known for years feels like a struggle and comes to awkward silences.

Probability is you're lacking confidence and not personality.    They're mates with you for a reason.   Have a little conviction in what you're saying, and relax.   

But I relate, as many will to your concerns.   

[Iminavest]

8 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Is this a recent thing or something more long term?

As long as I can remember really.

2 minutes ago, PB 4.2 said:

Probability is you're lacking confidence and not personality.    They're mates with you for a reason.   Have a little conviction in what you're saying, and relax.   

But I relate, as many will to your concerns.   

That's probably also true. All my friends are the same ones since school, still don't feel like I fit in.

[welshbairn]

22 minutes ago, Iminavest said:

I feel like I have no personality. Even speaking with friends I've known for years feels like a struggle and comes to awkward silences.

Doctor's won't tell you this but alcohol is your friend. It displaces the part of you that that is judging what you're saying from the outside, and stops you giving a f**k.

[Stellaboz]

f**k all wrong in saying nothing ta how we yeah,,,,,?

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

f**k all wrong in saying nothing ta how we yeah,,,,,?

^^^kens it.

[djchapsticks]

This thread is probably one of the best on this website.

There's a ton of uncomfortable (and of course inspiring) reading but what a purpose it serves for people who might not have any other outlet to get their feelings down in text or to express feelings they may be otherwise inclined to bottle up. I've been down in the past but I don't believe I've ever suffered from any form of depression, however it doesn't make the reading of others struggles and rises from their lowest ebbs any less powerful.

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, welshbairn said:

Doctor's won't tell you this but alcohol is your friend. It displaces the part of you that that is judging what you're saying from the outside, and stops you giving a f**k.

It can also lead you to making stupid decisions. It can also make you feel terrible the next day. It can also cloud your judgement. It can be dangerous.

[welshbairn]

17 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

It can also lead you to making stupid decisions. It can also make you feel terrible the next day. It can also cloud your judgement. It can be dangerous.

Believe in Tennents. 

[FifeArab]

Just found this page, while i’m lucky to say i’ve never had a mental health condition and i’m always happy and content, I think this Is a brilliant thread and well done to everyone for opening up.

No matter how big or small a problem Is you should always talk.

I don’t know you lads personally but feel free anytime to drop me a pm If you’re struggling no matter what hour of the day.

[Richey Edwards]

9 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Doctor's won't tell you this but alcohol is your friend. It displaces the part of you that that is judging what you're saying from the outside, and stops you giving a f**k.

For me personally, alcohol is definitely not my friend. It may provide a temporary superficial relief from depression but afterwards it will magnify all the worst parts of having depression.

That's just me though, alcohol doesn't agree with me and never has, so I haven't drank in a long time.

[DA Baracus]

Alcohol is no one's friend, especially when it comes to mental health. You're just temporarily ignoring the problems and causes. That might work whilst you're drunk but after you'll still have the same problems and cause with the added bonus of a hangover and the issues that brings, especially for those struggling with mental health (alcohol is a depressant). Then there's the dangers I spoke of in my last post, which I know from personal experience (as recently as Saturday night).

[Dons_1988]

9 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Believe in Tennents. 

As someone who has admittedly self medicated through alcohol in the past, what you're saying whilst I suspect tongue in cheek  is quite irresponsible.

For every time that alcohol provided some light relief from feelings of depression at the time, I always suffered multiple times worse the next day.  It keeps the clouds over your head, it de-motivates you, it keeps its foot on your neck.  It took me a long time to realise that alcohol is perfectly fine when I am in a healthy mental state but that it's a disaster when I'm not.

[Honest_Man#1]

13 hours ago, welshbairn said:

Doctor's won't tell you this but alcohol is your friend. It displaces the part of you that that is judging what you're saying from the outside, and stops you giving a f**k.

Whilst I think I get the point you’re trying to make about alcohol helping with the social aspect, with helping temporarily relieve anxiety/awkwardness, I agree with the points above about it not being the best piece of advice to hand out. Even for situations like the above, it’s fine, but also creates a reliance on it to ever be comfortable in social situations and I’ve known people who become so reliant that they’d have to sit in alone and get completely rat arsed in the house before even doing something like going out to the pub with your mates. That’s then a problem, sitting drinking til you’re wrecked alone isn’t good.

Also agree with the after-effects being dangerous. I’ve luckily never had anything I’d class as depression, but the worst I’ve ever felt was after a weekend long bender (which was a great laugh) that I spent completely pished the entire time. The comedown afterwards was unlike anything I’ve experienced and hope never to experience again, and took a good week or two to properly get over.

[welshbairn]

12 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

It can also lead you to making stupid decisions. It can also make you feel terrible the next day. It can also cloud your judgement. It can be dangerous.

 

3 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

For me personally, alcohol is definitely not my friend. It may provide a temporary superficial relief from depression but afterwards it will magnify all the worst parts of having depression.

That's just me though, alcohol doesn't agree with me and never has, so I haven't drank in a long time.

 

3 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Alcohol is no one's friend, especially when it comes to mental health. You're just temporarily ignoring the problems and causes. That might work whilst you're drunk but after you'll still have the same problems and cause with the added bonus of a hangover and the issues that brings, especially for those struggling with mental health (alcohol is a depressant). Then there's the dangers I spoke of in my last post, which I know from personal experience (as recently as Saturday night).

 

2 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

As someone who has admittedly self medicated through alcohol in the past, what you're saying whilst I suspect tongue in cheek  is quite irresponsible.

For every time that alcohol provided some light relief from feelings of depression at the time, I always suffered multiple times worse the next day.  It keeps the clouds over your head, it de-motivates you, it keeps its foot on your neck.  It took me a long time to realise that alcohol is perfectly fine when I am in a healthy mental state but that it's a disaster when I'm not.

 

9 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

Whilst I think I get the point you’re trying to make about alcohol helping with the social aspect, with helping temporarily relieve anxiety/awkwardness, I agree with the points above about it not being the best piece of advice to hand out. Even for situations like the above, it’s fine, but also creates a reliance on it to ever be comfortable in social situations and I’ve known people who become so reliant that they’d have to sit in alone and get completely rat arsed in the house before even doing something like going out to the pub with your mates. That’s then a problem, sitting drinking til you’re wrecked alone isn’t good.

Also agree with the after-effects being dangerous. I’ve luckily never had anything I’d class as depression, but the worst I’ve ever felt was after a weekend long bender (which was a great laugh) that I spent completely pished the entire time. The comedown afterwards was unlike anything I’ve experienced and hope never to experience again, and took a good week or two to properly get over.

Under advisement I am withdrawing my advice of moderate alcohol consumption to overcome mild social awkwardness. Cocaine is clearly the answer.

[DA Baracus]

23 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

 

 

 

 

Under advisement I am withdrawing my advice of moderate alcohol consumption to overcome mild social awkwardness. Cocaine is clearly the answer.

Is this some sort of trolling attempt? How very amusing to do it on this thread when folk are opening up about deeply personal things and looking for help.

Top, hard, work from a cool edgy guy