Guest Moomintroll Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Right, here goes. As I personally know quite a few people off this site (and some who read this thread probably) this isn’t an easy post to make. For at least the past year I’ve been kidding myself on. I’m 26 and almost definitely an alcoholic. I tell myself I’m not because it’s a choice thing - usually after I finish work I’ll go for pints but I have almost zero self control. I can’t go for one or two then head home. I don’t NEED to drink, if you know what I mean. I don’t wake up in the morning and I’m shaking for one but honestly, I’m bored. I have almost zero responsibilities, I live with my mum, step dad and sister and pay modest rent. I work part time in a job that I love but can’t give me more hours. I went for promotion (for a full time position) a couple of months ago and didn’t get it - I was devastated. I’m both an emotional and non emotional person - at work I let it show - I was visibly pissed off when things weren’t going well but with family or friends I didn’t talk about it. Anyway, and I don’t want to tag D.A Baracus because I don’t want to drag him into my problems but after reading his post a week or so ago, I see a lot of similar things. I don’t have that many people I would call friends, ugly as f**k and with almost zero chance of a girlfriend and I’m starting to seriously worry about my future. I work in childcare so I know I’d be a good, caring father which I would love more than anything in this world but at the moment I can’t see it happening. All of this comes at a cost, and it’s with pay day loans. I fell into that trap when I was in my late teens when I was a late teenager which my mother bailed me out of (it makes it worse that if she found out I’ve done again it would finish me, especially because my dad fucked off a couple of years ago and won’t speak to me - separate issue). Working part time play into this as I finish at 6pm and I don’t start again until 3, so I end up drunk knowing full well I don’t have to get up early for work. I can’t wait for this season to finish so I can try and convince myself I don’t have to go out drinking but the truth is I’m bored with nothing to do - drinking gives me confidence I don’t have when I’m sober. I have Marfan syndrome so if I joined a gym it wouldn’t make a difference , my diet is terrible and it doesn’t matter what I do, I’ll always be a skinny ride. I don’t know what I hope to achieve by this post but for me it’s a first step towards telling myself, and actually taking note, that I’m depressed. I suppose my first step is my doctor but I haven’t seen him for years and I can’t afford to take time off work. Cheers.Meant to add, your workplace must give you time off for medical appointments. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Can I add something here - with mental health, you should NEVER say or think that you can't afford to take time off work. Your state of mind and wellbeing is far more important than your employment. Health should come before wealth. I've been down that path myself, was signed off for a week because of overwhelming issues, and I was a first more concerned about letting my work down, but after some thought, I decided to put ME first. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Can I add something here - with mental health, you should NEVER say or think that you can't afford to take time off work. Your state of mind and wellbeing is far more important than your employment. Health should come before wealth. I've been down that path myself, was signed off for a week because of overwhelming issues, and I was a first more concerned about letting my work down, but after some thought, I decided to put ME first. Totally agree philpy, I have been off for 3 weeks up until now, my line, after the initial 2 weeks is for 8 weeks due to my complete meltdown. I am on an upswing just now but you could probably track my moods by my contributions on here. People have to take all the time they need, firms cannot discriminate against mental health issues. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbitterandgrumpy Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Karpaty Lviv said: Right, here goes. As I personally know quite a few people off this site (and some who read this thread probably) this isn’t an easy post to make. For at least the past year I’ve been kidding myself on. I’m 26 and almost definitely an alcoholic. I tell myself I’m not because it’s a choice thing - usually after I finish work I’ll go for pints but I have almost zero self control. I can’t go for one or two then head home. I don’t NEED to drink, if you know what I mean. I don’t wake up in the morning and I’m shaking for one but honestly, I’m bored. I have almost zero responsibilities, I live with my mum, step dad and sister and pay modest rent. I work part time in a job that I love but can’t give me more hours. I went for promotion (for a full time position) a couple of months ago and didn’t get it - I was devastated. I’m both an emotional and non emotional person - at work I let it show - I was visibly pissed off when things weren’t going well but with family or friends I didn’t talk about it. Anyway, and I don’t want to tag D.A Baracus because I don’t want to drag him into my problems but after reading his post a week or so ago, I see a lot of similar things. I don’t have that many people I would call friends, ugly as f**k and with almost zero chance of a girlfriend and I’m starting to seriously worry about my future. I work in childcare so I know I’d be a good, caring father which I would love more than anything in this world but at the moment I can’t see it happening. All of this comes at a cost, and it’s with pay day loans. I fell into that trap when I was in my late teens when I was a late teenager which my mother bailed me out of (it makes it worse that if she found out I’ve done again it would finish me, especially because my dad fucked off a couple of years ago and won’t speak to me - separate issue). Working part time play into this as I finish at 6pm and I don’t start again until 3, so I end up drunk knowing full well I don’t have to get up early for work. I can’t wait for this season to finish so I can try and convince myself I don’t have to go out drinking but the truth is I’m bored with nothing to do - drinking gives me confidence I don’t have when I’m sober. I have Marfan syndrome so if I joined a gym it wouldn’t make a difference , my diet is terrible and it doesn’t matter what I do, I’ll always be a skinny ride. I don’t know what I hope to achieve by this post but for me it’s a first step towards telling myself, and actually taking note, that I’m depressed. I suppose my first step is my doctor but I haven’t seen him for years and I can’t afford to take time off work. Cheers. Have I picked this up wrong? If so, correct me. You're working part-time 3 hours a day? If so, why can't you take the time to see your doctor? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Lviv Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 I know I would get the time off, my boss is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met and I can tell that the impact I have makes a massive difference to him and the workforce, and to be fair he was really sincere about me not getting the job (he wasn’t part of that process) and I could tell he was gutted for me. I just feel really guilty taking time off work even if I have a cold or something that takes a day or whatever to recover from. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Lviv Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 1 minute ago, oldbitterandgrumpy said: Have I picked this up wrong? If so, correct me. You're working part-time 3 hours a day? If so, why can't you take the time to see your doctor? That’s right, it’s not taking time off work to see a doctor, it’s taking however long the line is, if you know what I mean. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 17 minutes ago, philpy said: Can I add something here - with mental health, you should NEVER say or think that you can't afford to take time off work. Your state of mind and wellbeing is far more important than your employment. Health should come before wealth. I've been down that path myself, was signed off for a week because of overwhelming issues, and I was a first more concerned about letting my work down, but after some thought, I decided to put ME first. 100% correct 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbitterandgrumpy Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 3 minutes ago, Karpaty Lviv said: That’s right, it’s not taking time off work to see a doctor, it’s taking however long the line is, if you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean. I'll admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but just explain it to me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 6 minutes ago, oldbitterandgrumpy said: I don't know what you mean. I'll admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but just explain it to me. He means if the doctor signs him off work for say a month, he can’t afford it. I’m assuming he does not receive sick pay from his employer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbitterandgrumpy Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 7 minutes ago, Karpaty Lviv said: That’s right, it’s not taking time off work to see a doctor, it’s taking however long the line is, if you know what I mean. If you mean throwing yourself at the mercy of the NHS, and their waiting times, then yes, I understand. Been there, not pleasant, or reassuring, but the alternative is to go private, which I certainly couldn't afford. if the NHS is your only option though, just resign yourself to it. The other alternative is to drink more. That (believe me) is not a solution. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Lviv Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 4 minutes ago, oldbitterandgrumpy said: I don't know what you mean. I'll admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but just explain it to me. I know I can make an appointment with a doctor at a normal time when I’m not working but if s/he gives me a line for day two weeks, that’s unsettling for me because I need the wages and honestly, I don’t know what I’d do for those two weeks. I start drinking because I’m bored and have nothing to do usually, to have two weeks off work, I’d basically stick and stur. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbitterandgrumpy Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 2 minutes ago, Rugster said: He means if the doctor signs him off work for say a month, he can’t afford it. I’m assuming he does not receive sick pay from his employer. Ok, got it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 The breakdown of your relationship with your father is not your fault. Kids f**k up, it’s what they do, if he decided to bail then it isn’t anything you have done wrong, it’s his f**k up. As for the payday loans, go to the CAB and ask for help, there’s no shame in wanting to rebuild yourself. The only other thing I have to say is get yourself out there, no one is going to judge you more than your own mind. If you want to find a girl, then just open up. You will get rejected, everyone does but don’t dwell on it so much. Oh and kick the fucking booze, you aren’t Wunfellaff. All the best 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 Might be of use/interest to some, but Talksport had a an interview with Leon McKenzie in regards to his battle with mental health. Thought it was very well done, and would reccomend a listen. https://play.acast.com/s/talksportexclusivespodcast/onthesportingcouch-leonmckenzie 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 Re the Payday loans, you should be able to get some money back from those c***s. https://debtcamel.co.uk/payday-loan-refunds/ I did and got some back (promptly spunked it all again mind and ended up getting more loans). I still have all the templates etc so if you decide to try it and need any help give me a shout. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 The doctor won't sign you off unless you ask him to. It's no like gettin fuckin sectioned. Probably just give you meds and possibly refer you to a specialist. Will discuss more later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acastus Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 (edited) I was off work with depression for a few months. Back at work and doing good now. I'm here for anyone who wants to talk. Edited May 6, 2019 by Acastus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 The doctor won’t automatically sign you off. There’s benefit in the structure and routine of work and if you aren’t finding it a cause. AA may be worth attending and the GP can get the ball rolling on nhs psyc services. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Some of them do. I feel like a lot of the old timers in AA don't live in the real world. However I have found a meeting on a Thursday night that has been great for me. People a lot more like me and I've been sober for 14 months now. I just stick to that one and will occasionally do another If I feel I need it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 16 hours ago, DA Baracus said: Re the Payday loans, you should be able to get some money back from those c***s. https://debtcamel.co.uk/payday-loan-refunds/ I did and got some back (promptly spunked it all again mind and ended up getting more loans). I still have all the templates etc so if you decide to try it and need any help give me a shout. Did you claim off Wonga? How much did you get back and how long did it take? Also If I could have your address and your mother's inside leg measurement that would be great. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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