Shotgun Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Just now, Dee Man said: All serial killers IMO. You dodged a bullet there, figuratively and literally. Well yes, obviously. But until now, I never thought I was pretty enough to attract a serial killer. I'm feeling goooooooood this morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 never noticed that the original Colonel Sanders looks like Rolf Harris with a Gary Glitter goatee beard - no wonder they redesigned that fucker ! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 4 minutes ago, Shotgun said: Well yes, obviously. But until now, I never thought I was pretty enough to attract a serial killer. I'm feeling goooooooood this morning. That's why Mrs Mathematics made do with @mathematics 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 38 minutes ago, Dee Man said: When that butcher in Wishaw infected and killed a load of people with E coli in the 90s there were a few jokes going around at the time. One of them was along the lines of, "That butcher was playing football at the weekend and getting beat 1-0 but ecolised in the last minute". My brother's mates were in court at the same time as him, sat just along from him and loudly repeated the joke to make sure he heard it. Those were the days. Well I hope the Farmer that caused me to get ill is feeling very sheepish and he is now in deep shit and has now become a complete cash cow for his insurance company, he deserves all he gets, as he is a cock. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 2 hours ago, Shandon Par said: That's why Mrs Mathematics made do with @mathematics Here you, I’m a fucking catch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, mathematics said: Here you, I’m a fucking catch. So is COVID-19. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 3 hours ago, Shotgun said: My car died on me about a mile from home last night. That's a PTTGOYN and, depending upon what the mechanic has to say, might turn out to be a RTBM (Reason to be miserable) BUT, during the 45 minutes it took for the tow-truck to arrive, four people stopped to see if I needed help. FOUR! It's completely restored (a bit of) my faith in humanity and much improved my opinion of the folk who live in this neighbourhood. It's a bit irritating if your trying g to bury a dead prostitute. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 I’ve heard you’re getting knocked out at the first Hearts v Pars game. I’ll cut off your ears so you won’t hear any more nonsense. Can we do this after the game though, don’t want to hurt my bridie eating hands. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, NJ2 said: I’ll cut off your ears so you won’t hear any more nonsense. Can we do this after the game though, don’t want to hurt my bridie eating hands. My friend. I can no longer guarantee your safety. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 My friend. I can no longer guarantee your safety. I’ve been in Fife for some time now, none of these pretenders have dared take a shot. I thought the old wife in the local shop might but she bottled it 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 39 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: It's a bit irritating if your trying g to bury a dead prostitute. Burying them is a waste of good meat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, Shotgun said: Burying them is a waste of good meat. Obviously you don't leave them there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 49 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: It's a bit irritating if your trying g to bury a dead prostitute. 9 minutes ago, Shotgun said: Burying them is a waste of good meat. 5 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Obviously you don't leave them there. Ah, you're talking about a Polynesian style luau. Gotcha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 47 minutes ago, NJ2 said: I’ll cut off your ears so you won’t hear any more nonsense. Can we do this after the game though, don’t want to hurt my bridie eating hands. That’s you that is. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Maple syrup. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 A socially distanced day with the family. Nothing like a grandchild’s laugh to lift the spirits. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 29 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: A socially distanced day with the family. Nothing like a grandchild’s laugh to lift the spirits. My father in law came over and that made my wife so happy,the only thing missing was she wanted to hug him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 30 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: A socially distanced day with the family. Nothing like a grandchild’s laugh to lift the spirits. Had all 6 grandkids and a niece from 8am, just all away at 8pm. I’ve been in my glory today. Sun, singing, paddling pools, barbecue and beers. No hugs, no kisses though 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 I am getting to spend some time with my son on sunday for the 1st time since the lockdown,he may be 28 but he will always be my wee boy. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 13 minutes ago, keithgy said: I am getting to spend some time with my son on sunday for the 1st time since the lockdown,he may be 28 but he will always be my wee boy. Aye I have a 34 and 31 year old, still your bairns. A few beers with them tonight before they collected the kids. What it’s all about 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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